My babies hate me

I sware my babies hate me and I don't know what to do ...........my mom keeps my babies during the day and brags on and on about how sweet they are and they just coo and talk all day long I get home and they turn to gremlins......thrwoing tantrums and just so unhappy.....I think they hate me for leaving them......I get so upset I just go outside and cry. ANyone else have this happen?

 

They don't hate you! What time do you get home? I remember for the first 3 months from 4pm-7pm were so hard. They would cry and cry and just be so unhappy. Hang in there!

 

Oh they don't have you! I promise! you are still in the really hard part, and most babies have a fussy time of the day, and that is usually in the late afternoon or early evening. Babies hit their peak fussiness at about 6wks (adjusted age), so yours are just at the 6wk ish mark.
Mine were so like that - pretty happy and content in the morning and early afternoon, but by evening time all hell would break loose and they would cry for hours - it was awful, I still remember it well!
It will get better, and you will start to see some interaction from them soon, and you will know they don't hate you. Try white noise machine, swaddling, rocking, bouncy chairs, music or singing. Good Luck : )

 

Okay, don't get too upset about this. My mom does the same thing. My girls spend 1 night each weekend at my parents house and my mom swears that the whole time I'm gone the girls are just happy as can be and that the crying and tantrums don't start until I am there. Also, my girls STTN at her house long before they STTN at mine.

Maybe your mom is like mine and just likes to feel like she has a special bond and relationship with her grandchildren. I don't let it get to me and just silently roll my eyes. Think about it - we are lucky that we have somewhere our babies can go that they love as much as home, like a 2nd home where they get just as much love as we give them.

It sounds like your babies are overtired by the time you get them. When my girls were young infants if they were overtired or overstimulated they'd have major melt downs. Do you know how long they've been awake for by the time you get there to pick them up? I would talk to your mom and request that they just be waking up from a nap about the time you arrive to pick them up. That way they should be happy and in good moods for a couple of hours.


:hug: don't let it get to you, she probably exagerates.

Also, I wanted to add that my mom makes little comments too. Like last weekend - when I was there after my girls spent the night, one of my girls screamed really loud for my attention. My mom says "they have not screamed like that the entire time they've been here!" I said "oh they do that at home all the time when they want my attention" so she says "Oh, well when they are here they always have my attention, so I guess that's why I've never heard them scream before."

I just take it in stride and think to myself "good, I'm glad they get a lot of attention over there." There's no way they hate you, they are probably just tired.

 

I get home around 4:30 and they are happy for just a bit then the rest of the night I can't get anything done they are juts so upset and it just makes me even more upset. I miss them so much during the day and I come home to uphappy babies

 

Your babies absolutely do not hate you! A lot of babies (and kids too) act better for others than they do at home. The babies are probably more comfortable with you and you're seeing them at the end of a long day, so they are probably worn out too (which makes everyone cranky). My DS was the same way. My MIL would say how perfect he was and she didn't ever have any problems with him, but for me he was HORRIBLE! It was just something to work through and it is just a phase, it does get better. Now, my girls are good for me, but if I try to leave them with anyone else they scream their heads off until I come back. <_<

Good luck and your babies love you! :hug:

 

She keeps them at my house so some times they are still sleeping but she really doesn't have them on much of a schedule just go wih the flow

 

They don't hate you. :hug: I called it the working moms curse. They were happy most of the day and crabby at night. It's just their peak fussy time. Luckily they will outgrow it before you know it. For most babies it is around 3 months. Test the theory on the weekend. They will coo and smile and love their mommy all morning and turn into monsters as the afternoon wears on.

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Sep 24 2008, 08:17 AM) [snapback]994840[/snapback]
She keeps them at my house so some times they are still sleeping but she really doesn't have them on much of a schedule just go wih the flow


What about in the mornings before you go to work, how are they then?

 

well I leave about 6:30 so they are usually still asleep but this morning Jacob woke up before I left and he was happy and smiling

 

Late afternoon/early evening was (and often still is) the witching hour in our home. My husband thought the babies hated him because they would cry and scream when he got home--but that's just the fussy time of day.

Now that they are a bit older, they are usually more cheerful in the evenings than they used to be, and they light up when he comes in the door.

Your babies will too. Hang in there!

 

Those fussy evening hours are called the "Witching Hours" I assure you they don't Hate you!

You are doing a great job Momma!!

 

well I'm feeling a bit better since I know other ppl have the same trouble.

 

It's not personal. They're just babies.

I recommend the book 'the happiest baby on the block'. My babies never cried for hours. If swaddling and pacifier didn't work, putting them in the bouncer did (then the swings later). Ok maybe I was lucky but it really worked for us.

Also, they might just be overtired because your mom keeps them up too long. At that age mine were tired after being up 40 minutes, so pretty much enough time to feed them and change their diapers and they went down for a nap again. Or I'd just put the mobile on and they'd eventually fall asleep. But it would explain why they're so cranky at night too.

 

No, they don't hate you! I'm with my 10 month olds ALL DAY long and they do that with me ALL DAY LONG but the second someone else comes over and their dad comes home they are sweet, happy and content! I just posted about this same issue a few days ago and a lot of people said they do this with us because they feel most at ease with us and can be 'themselves'. I just hope they grow out of it!

 

:hug: Hey, my kids are angels for my mom too... until I talk to dad!!! It seems they aren't as 'perfect' as my mom would like me to believe for her. I have found that babies tend to be happier in the morning hours too. Our evenings were pure hell! It has nothing to do with you! It gets better! :hug:

 

I'm glad cause my DH gets so upset and he keeps insisting there is something wrong with them i try to tell him I think they are just fussy but he swares babies aren't that fussy....every day I think I'll print this post for him

 

lol i think DS hates me. but DD likes me better than my husband so it evens out

 

They don't hate you! The problem with working is that you only get to see your babies when they are tired and crabby! It's really not fair. You go pick them up at around 5, and that is when babies seem to be in the worst mood. If you had them from 11-2 between their 2 naps they would be happy, just like they are for your mom. I would try and make sure that they are getting good naps at your moms, so they are well rested and hopefully in a better mood when you pick them up. *** Hugs *** I know exactly how you feel.

 

QUOTE(LoriD @ Sep 24 2008, 08:12 AM) [snapback]994828[/snapback]
They don't hate you! What time do you get home? I remember for the first 3 months from 4pm-7pm were so hard. They would cry and cry and just be so unhappy. Hang in there!



ITA! These are the witching hours! It's hard not to take it personally but you can't...they are so little..

 

I had to reply to this as I don't want you thinking that your babies hate you!! My little ones are 6 months old and I remember at that time they were SO unhappy during the evening hours. 6pm - 9pm was terrible!! Crying, fussy, just miserable. So..it's NOT YOU!! It's the time of the day. Please know that. I had to go through this for a couple of months. I did find out from my doctor that some little ones like to cluster feed at night. So, if they are really fussy (which could be slight colic too) give them a half bottle or quarter bottle and that might help them settle down. I did EVERYTHING and the only thing that would calm my little boy down was to give him a half bottle an hour and half after he fed at that time of night. Hang in there..it WILL get better. Mine still get kind of fussy around 7 PM as they are just plain tired. Gosh..the whole family is tired by 7PM
Take care!!

 

They don't hate you :hug: :hug: :hug:

Dianna

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Sep 24 2008, 01:15 PM) [snapback]994837[/snapback]
I get home around 4:30 and they are happy for just a bit then the rest of the night I can't get anything done they are juts so upset and it just makes me even more upset. I miss them so much during the day and I come home to uphappy babies


Here is probably the reason?? The evenings were the worst for us at that age. They will outgrown the evening witching hour. Do they like baths?? If so, maybe a nice warm bath for all of you would be a nice way to bond and not cry. Hang in there. You are doing a great job.

 

They love baths so and they haven't been getting them as often cause if they fall asleep I let them sleep in fear of them waking up screaming again

 

QUOTE(Brown Eyed Gurl @ Sep 24 2008, 02:35 PM) [snapback]995004[/snapback]
They love baths so and they haven't been getting them as often cause if they fall asleep I let them sleep in fear of them waking up screaming again


Aww Brandi. I am sorry. I hear ya. Maybe that is something you can have set up so that right when you get home you can do it together and relax. :hug:

 

Awww, your babies dont hate you. I understand you though as my MIL would always say how good they were then they weren´t with me. Ive come to realise though that grandmothers see their grandkids through rose-tinted glasses! We´re mums so it´s always harder for us as they´re our babies and there are 2!!!

Yours are at that age though, as ppl have said, plus it´s that time of day. Mine were a nightmare for the first 2 months and DD used to scream her way through the afternoons and evenings until about 3 weeks ago. I´m lucky as both sttn from 2 months on. I do baths at the 8pm feed and it relaxes them both and they love it. It will get better though so hang in there. Not a day went by in the first 2 months that I didn´t cry and I still have moments when I think I can´t do this. I understand you and send you hugs and support during this hard time. Once 3 months have passed, they develop so fast!

 

My babies were MONSTERS for the first 3 months from about 3:30 till 8pm...actual monsters...I shudder just thinking about those hours!
DH was miserable as that was the only times he would see them during the week & they were miserable!
It will get better with time :good:
Hang in there!!

 

Those are the worst hours...I agree. If your babies hate you, my babies loathe me! They act the same way and I am staying at home. Don't worry and try to ignore the remarks that make you feel badly. You're doing what you need to do for yourself and your family. You're a great mom and don't forget that! Take care...

 

thank you all so much you make me feel so much better I was really feeling as if they just didn't like me I actually held Mekaila last night and begged and pleaded with her and asking why she hated mommy......but now I know it's just normal I can relax and know it will be over soon.....and maybe Grandma is braggin on them a little more just to make herself feel good....LOL

 

QUOTE(LoriD @ Sep 24 2008, 09:12 AM) [snapback]994828[/snapback]
They don't hate you! What time do you get home? I remember for the first 3 months from 4pm-7pm were so hard. They would cry and cry and just be so unhappy. Hang in there!


I agree with pp...my dh had the same concerns at first...he comes home at 5:30 and for a while he got nothing but fussy babies...they were great with me all day and miserable when he got home. He thought they just didn't like him. Try it on the weekend or whenever you have a day off. I bet you'll get lots of smiles and coos in the morning. Mine are happiest between 8 and 4! Luckily my dh's birthday was on a Sunday and my dd gave him the best present...a BIG cheeky smile when she first woke up!

 

Hey if it helps my boys started saying mama and dada...the caveot is dadadada is for when they are happy and babbling...mamamama is I am really frustrated or melting down. How is that for love? You may also consider she tells you how great they are because (a) she doesn't want you to worry they are unhappy so she is sheilding you and (b) she is looking for validation that she couldn't have with you because she had to manage you as you do your child. I actually got my mom to admit she treats my children so they will be happy all the time (which wrecks my schedule) because when she raised me she had to make compromises.


HTH!

 

They don't hate you, it is definitely the witching hour. It was difficult in our house from 5-8 with our babies at 2 months!!!!

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Sep 24 2008, 09:34 AM) [snapback]994875[/snapback]
Late afternoon/early evening was (and often still is) the witching hour in our home. My husband thought the babies hated him because they would cry and scream when he got home--but that's just the fussy time of day.

Now that they are a bit older, they are usually more cheerful in the evenings than they used to be, and they light up when he comes in the door.

Your babies will too. Hang in there!



I second the witching hour. Hugs to you. It is a hard stage, but they love you. :hug:

 

I get chills remembering the first 3 months and the behavior from 4 ish until 8. I didn't think it would get better nor would my dh and I survive. The good news, we are all here and happy. The babies are much better now! By around 5-6 months things will be very different.