My 4yo daughter still wets her pants!

Here's the short story, my daughter who is 4yrs. 4mos. is still wetting herself probably about4-5 times a day on average. We have tried ABSOLUTELY everything!!! Praise, rewards, stickers, ignoring it, etc. Nothing seems to work. She does go #2 in the potty, but she thinks she can hold her pee all day!!! She is a very smart girl (I know I'm bias here), but we are really at our wits end. The only option we haven't tried is some sort of professional help. My husband and I just keep hoping everyday, that today will be the day that she stays dry, but it hasn't happened yet. When she does pee, on the couch or floor, etc., it doesn't seem to phase her one bit. The odd thing is, when she's at school, she stays dry, no accidents there. Which leads me to believe that it is possibly some sort of rebellion against me and my husband?? I just don't know what else to do at this point!!

Anyone else going through this too??? Any help or suggestions would be welcome, thanks!!!!

 

Just wondering, have you had her checked by the pediatrician? I would want to rule out any kind of medical condition.

 

Just want to be sure I am understanding this correctly, is she wetting herself throughout the day because she is holding it and waiting too long to go and then basically has to rush to get to the bathroom and it's too late?


If this is the case, If it were me, I'd have a talk with her and tell her that since she is holding her pee for too long, that I am am going to start reminding her throughout the day to go to the bathroom and that she has to go. I would let her know it's okay ( I had to do this with DS) to stop playing or watching TV and go to the bathroom. I would try to get her into the habit of using the restroom throughout the day. And then if that didn't work then I'd check in with the ped. about it.


However, if the above is not the case then I'd check in with the ped now about it. Good luck. :hug:

 

Does she go potty at school or just hold it while there?

 

Yes, she does go to the potty at school. They have regular bathroom breaks and she goes just fine there. It's when she's home that's the problem. Basically she just doesn't like to stop whatever it is that she is doing to go to the bathroom. She does hold it as long as she can and then she just pees wherever she is, she doesn't even try to run to the potty or anything at all. That's the frustrating part, she's not interested at even trying to go on the potty at all, even though she has no problem going to the potty for #2. We have explained to her how everyone has to eventually go, even when they don't want to. When I have to go and I'm in the middle of something, I try modeling, how I'm stopping what I'm doing for just a quick minute to go. I try explaining also that it takes much longer to clean up and change an accident, than it do to just go to the potty. One thing we did try with some success was setting a timer for every hour as a reminder to go. That worked pretty well for a couple of weeks, then she just stopped, said she didn't want the timer anymore and refused to go and started having accidents again.

In June it will be two years since we've been potty training her and quite honestly I'm just exhausted from it all. I'm just not sure what else to do. Thanks for the help, we're going back to the ped. next week for a follow-up on an ear infection and I'm going to ask about it then.

 

You could try to build in natural transitions with potty breaks. First thing in the morning, after breaskfast while getting dressed, before lunch, etc. Try the timer again.

Do you have a portable potty seat? That worked wonders for my oldest. He did not want to stop playing or miss out on anything so the potty chair in the playroom worked for that. Giving her a choice of which potty she wants to use may help.

Sorry, I imagine your frustration with this is off the charts!

 

I agree with scheduling potty breaks (like in school). When you wake up first thing, then after breakfast, and then mid-morning after play time, then after lunch, etc etc. Everyone goes potty at these times so its not just her. :hug:

 

So if she does it at school and not at home, there is something in the dynamic that is different? It could be the scheduling. It could also be a power struggle at home or a desire for attention. (My boys love negative attention sometimes.).

Baring any medical problem, which doesn't seem to be the case here, I'd probably try to revisit some of the other techniques, with emphasis on persistence and consistency. I'm curious how you structured your reward system, was it a reward and punishment system, like a token economy? She is also old enough to have consequences. I'd definitely make her clean her own mess at this point; if having pee on herself doesn't bother he maybe having to clean it up will. As long as you can have as little involvement as possible in that aspect, it may also take away some of the negative attention factor.

 

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have one that still poops in his pants and it will be two years in June for us as well. He is now being treated for constipation, so we are hoping that is what the culprit is. But I am soooooo over it!

I agree with scheduling potty breaks. We are getting into the habit of this as well. After meals I set a timer to remind me that I need to get him to the potty and we take sticker books or anything that he is playing with and sit on the potty. Then I leave him alone for a bit in there too. GL!