multiple mom snobbery

just a quick vent....

just got back from a local garage sale put on by several moms of triplets. i attended this same garage sale last year when i was as big as a small trailor! in my perception, one of the triplet moms demonstrates this kind of multiple mom snobbery. i have run into her at the grocery store, the school i work, etc & at every run in i try to make conversation bc we are both moms of multiples. not only is she not responsive, she likes to remind me that they have their own "club" for moms of triplets & more. the moms of multiples club is having a garage sale next weekend so i asked her about it. she made sure to tell me that triplets were multiples too & they had their own organization with a different name. apparently the "moms of multiples" group is for twins only.

now i know that triplet moms have very different challenges & should have a special group to belong to for encouragement, information, etc. i just can't help but think this woman feels elite for the very reason she has triplets rather than twins. call me crazy but has anyone run into this personality before? it is nuts to me because as mothers...whether of singletons, twins or more...we all face unique challenges. having twins does not make me a better mother than any singleton mom that i know. why would it be any different with triplets & more? bizarre.

thanks for letting me vent here!!! man, do i appreciate the support & encouragment on this site!!!

 

after talking this situation over with my dh, i realized this was a total vent...not at all intended to cause drama. i also feel so strongly supported by the moms on this board, including the triplet + mommies . this post is not to imply snobbery is a common occurance. just a case of one multiple mommy being less than friendly to another. thanks for listening.

 

I hear ya! I'm sure this is representative of one person, and obviously not triplet moms as a whole...but I have had a similar instance with the Grandma of triplets. I was in Sam's club and this lady approached me and immediately started talking about how her daughter had triplets and everything she said had this tone of, "you think you're special, well my daughter is MORE special." It was so obnoxious! All I can say is I'm sorry you have to keep running into that woman---I might eventually call her on her snobbery, but then again I would say that about anyone being repeatedly snobby to me regardless of how many kids they had!

Reyna

 

I see it all the time, from moms of twins too! Some people just act that way!

 

Moms have a weird way of behaving sometimes! I run a multiples group and a Mom asked if she could attend a get together with us... of course my answer was yes! She's a mom of a child similar to the ages of the twins in the group and boy oh boy did the other Moms make it a point at "Woah, is me, twins are so hard and you certainly don't understand." It was interesting because they never had that attitude before!

 

I don't think I've run into this but I can imagine it's true for some. I have a t-shirt that says "One baby? I laugh at your one baby!" but it is a total joke! I actually feel like I get way too much attention and credit for being a mom of twins, when I think for the most part it isn't that much harder to have two. Of course I have very "easy" babies. It is very challenging, just not as challenging as I think people imagine. They always say they don't think they could do it, but of course they could. I'm not super-mom, that's for sure. You do what you have to do for your kids. I do think I am in a special situation that is unique in many ways, and I feel so blessed, but it doesn't make me any better than anyone else. I'm just lucky!

Jen

 

There certainly are unique challenges and joys to having twins that singleton Moms just can't get, and I'm sure there are unique challenges and joys to being a triplet (or more) mom that moms of twins just can't get. You know, honestly, I hear a lot of that on this board. I guess I'm sensitive to it as a *former singleton Mommy*. And yes, I do get annoyed by my singleton Mommy friends at times - so I'm guilty of it too But, I've never intentionally given a singleton mom the "Woe is me" attitude, if anything I downplay it b/c they ar all saying things like "I would kill myself if I had twins"

As far as trying to bond with this particular mom - why bother?? There lots more moms out there!!!

 

QUOTE(HeyThere @ Apr 5 2008, 09:33 PM) [snapback]706749[/snapback]
I see it all the time, from moms of twins too! Some people just act that way!


I have gotten a similar response from another twin mommie. Actually it was my husband trying to talk to the lady about her twins and she was less than intersted. She acted like we were bothering her and only answered his questions with a yes or no and wouldn't even look at us. So we moved on and decided she was having a bad day or something.

 

I have run into this multiple snobbery with twin moms too. That is one of the reasons that I didn't want to join my local multiple group. There are too many there that think that everyone should put in the same work as they do, even if others can't. I went to a couple of meetinga and only 3 people talked to me. I don't expect everyone to, but it would have been nice to at least be acknowledged with a short hello. I got that "OMG" look at the size I was, like they were never that size. And at the time there was only one mom of triplets there and she litterally stuck her nose up when I was looking at her. I totally felt betrayed and it hurt. And ever since then I have refused to involve my kids with negativity that even come close to what they did to me.

Some people think that just because they have multiples that they are more special than anyone else, and I will not stay around that attitude long at all. Don't feel to bad you are definitely not alone. I have met about 10 couples that are twin parents and one that is a triplet parent and I would say that 6 out of the 11 were rude and snobby, and acted like I was the dirt that they walked on. But you know what? That is quite ok! I know that I am just as special and no one is going to rain on my parade! lol.

Lots of hugs and Love! :hug99:
Meshell