Mothers of twins with an older sibling

Sigh.... I feel so bad for my DD (age 2 1/2). Like it's not hard enough at home for her adjusting to not one, but two new siblings- she also gets totally ignored due to the twin thing in public. People just blow right by her and say, "Oh! Twins! How cute!" blah blah blah. I try and introduce her as their "Big sister Piper" and also I try and let her introduce "her twins" when people ask their names or genders; still people just pretend like she isn't there. It really pisses me off some days. I know there's not much I can do besides what I'm doing, but still, you would think these people could care a little and not be so rude to her. Two year olds get hurt feelings too- I'm appalled when people act like she's invisible or something!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Mellie

 

Awww. People can be so insensitive. I think they are just amazed by twins...but it's still no excuse!

 

I know exactly what you mean...the same thing happens to my oldest even though we always try to include him when people approach. He doesn't seem to mind for the most part & some people have actually gone out of their way to talk to him first about non-baby things...I really appreciated that. The one that gets me the most is my IL's. Every time they come they bring the camera & want to take a picture with each of them holding a baby. They never ask for my oldest to get in the picture even if he's standing right there. I've just started telling him to get in the picture before I'll take it. Maybe they'll get the point soon.

 

Poor little thing. Sounds like you are doing everything just right. I guess I'm lucky mine are all older, they just think all of the attention the twins get is funny.

 

I feel the same way, my oldest gets ignored in public. When strangers come up and ask "oh there's two!?" she's learned to say no there are three. I will usually say something to include her as well. Like when they ask "two girls?", I will say, nope three girls so she probably got it from me. I hate that people are so fascinated by the babies leaving our older kiddos out.

 

I like to take my DS out with me separately cauz he tends to get attention from strangers when he is the only one out. People are so amazed by twins, they don't realize what the "other" children are thinking. Wish they would notice it though.

 

You are doing everything right! It is really tough, though, isn't it? One of my friend's friends is 18 mos older than her twin sisters & she gave me lots of helpful advice for making Brayden feel good even though he doesn't get as much attention as his sisters. So, I've incorporated a lot of what she said into my daily repetoire of responses to strangers. So here's what I say: "Yes, they are twins...and this is their wonderful Big Brother Brayden! He's such a big helper to me! I don't know how I would do it without him!" I praise him to strangers every time the twins get attention. He always gets a big smile on his face & has no problem answering questions about "his babies" after I lavish attention on him first. I also try to make him feel special in his own right & play down the fact that the babies get a lot of attention by saying it's just because they are babies. But the fact that they are babies makes them a LOT of work and I'm glad I have a big kid like him to help me out. It really does make a difference!

 

I swear I replied to this yesterday.... :crazy:

That happens to my dd Emma. People just plain ignore her (Dave is old enough to feel the excitement of the people so he doesn't feel bad, plus he will butt into any conversation!) or pity her, "Oh you poor thing, the only girl with 3 brothers!" I really don't know what's worse!