Mother Vent

Today my mom asked me if the boys had rolled over yet. I told her no and she proceeded to tell me that all 4 of her children had rolled over by 3 months so the fact that they haven't means that it's something that I've done or failed to do. In those exact words! She said it's probalby because I let them sleep in my bed (for maybe 3 weeks mind you), I hold them too much, or I have them in the same crib. What the eff, man?! How can you just tell your daughter that she's the reason her children haven 't rolled over. It's like she's been waiting for the opportunity to tell me I'm doing something wrong. She had several opportunities when my older sister had her baby b/c she was a very unionvolved mother. It's almost like she resents the fact that I'm home with them and they're healthy and breastfed and happy and I'm having a good time with them. It really makes me sad. I don't know what to say to her. I don't want to cause tension but I feel like as a mother she should have been saying something like "don't worry yet" or "it's not your fault" or "well, they WERE born a month early"...not "oh yeah, it's definitely something you're doing or not doing". How do I let these things go in one ear and out the other. This has seriously been the first time since I brought them home that I doubted my abilities as a mother.

 

I am so sorry you had to hear that from her, YOU are a great mom, and you are doing a fantastick job!! Keep doing just what you are doing. Parents can say the most mean and hurtful things. Keep your chin up ....and know that when the babies are ready to roll over...they will! and not until...it is just like the whole..when will they be born thing....they can not read a calendar!!!!


Hugs to you,

Missy
:love0028:

 

Don't feel bad AT ALL! All babies develop at different rates. I have one that still doesn't roll over or show any signs of it and he's older than your kids. Keep your head up and let it go in one ear and out the other. When my kids were super fussy and did nothing but cry, my mom said it was because I don't play with them enough. I felt like a horrible mother! Come to find out, it was because they were lactose intolerant and switching to soy formula made them the happiest little babies. Goes to show that mothers aren't always right!

 

I can totally relate. My Mum is a wonderful person and she loves our babies to bits but she is CONSTANTLY reminding me of how much better her babies were than mine! She tells me that all of her babies slept through the night as soon as they came home from the hospital, that none of her babies cried, that we were all rolling, crawling, walking, etc. earlier than my babies. I just tune her out and nod my head. My babies are doing things at their own pace. So long as they're happy and healthy I don't care if it took them 7 months to learn to roll over!

 

Oh, for pete's sake -- babies do things at all different times. Yours are on the early end to roll, anyway -- one of mine is, and the other isn't even close. And seriously, what the heck is up with your mom? I think I'd have to say, "Mom, I'd appreciate a little support please, instead of just criticism..."

 

Oh, sheesh! How soon your babies roll has absolutely nothing to do with your abilities as a mother. It's still really early anyway. What a spiteful, nasty, insensitive comment. :angry: That is just awful.

FWIW, I think you're doing a fabulous job with your babies! Keep up the great work.

 

just tell her if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. it is easy to have a selective memory about things in the past. if you are such a poor mother than who did you learn that from,hmmmm.
your babies are fine, they are young to be rolling over yet. I am sure you are doing a great job!

 

WOW. Holy cow. I don't know what I'd do if my mother said that to me! You expect comments like that from rude strangers, not your mother. I can't even begin to think what would cause her to be so mean. You are a GREAT mom.

Reyna

 

Is your mother related to my mother? I "hold my babies too much". You know what? I hold them when they want to be held when I'm not terribly busy just like every other mother on the planet. I would just tune her out. She's obviously reliving her motherly insecurities through you.