Mood Swings

Are the dramatic mood swings all the time normal? One minute, everything is fine and then we get a massive tantrum (usually related to when they don't know what they want or they can't quite express what they're thinking at the time). They have NO patience when it comes to not being able to express themselves or do something *immediately*. They can be laughing and happy and if they can't do something on their own RIGHT THEN or if they can't find the right words to express their thoughts, they FREAK out (throwing themselves on the floor, screaming, throwing things, crying). We're trying to work with this and teach patience and perseverance, but I don't think I'm getting anywhere.

My husband is starting to wonder if this is normal or if they have some sort of mental issue that requires medication. I don't think it's abnormal, but I could very well be wrong (he's starting to make me wonder). I thought it was just an age and personality thing and that me being patient and talking them through these times and modeling the right behavior would help, but after 6 months, it hasn't changed much at all. So, I dunno. Is this typical?

 

I think its normal, my girls can't decide if they are happy or mad at each other. Especially when they get tired, it gets worse. They can be laughing, playing, and having a great time, and then something itty bitty happen and its a complete meltdown. They really get upset if I don't understand what they want, they thinking screaming it at me will help me understand. Honestly, I think its just the age because the mood swings just started getting really bad for us in the last couple of weeks. I just try to talk to them calmly and just remind them it will be okay, or lets be calm, or something to try to help them control their emotions. And I don't know about you, but the screaming, oh my goodness, they have one volume and that's LOUD.

 

Thank you *so* much for replying. I was starting to worry there

 

Jo is almost 5 and has always been the same way. Everything's fine, then we tell her no and she's a new person. Stamping her foot, arms crossed, yelling at us. It's very dramatic. I remind her that this kind of attitude/behavior is not allowed and send her to her room until her attitude is over. She's usually in control within minutes and comes out all happy.

Ellie, on the other hand, she's almost 4, doesn't react to being put in her room the same way. For her it's as if we're sending her away and she just cried harder. She needs hugs to calm down instead of going to her room. They are so different!

 

I think it's personality. Amy is much like you describe, although her worst point (so far) was around 3y3m -- it started getting better around 3.5 and is now a lot better, but she still freaks out sometimes. The improvement is that she recovers much faster than she did a year ago. Sarah has gotten quicker to freak out than she was a year ago, which is not so fun, and she also doesn't recover as quickly -- she needs lots of patience and hugs and coddling.

I guess it depends on the severity of the behavior. I don't think mine ever throw things (or maybe once in a blue moon) -- there was a little bit of that around age 2.5 or 3, but not recently. If they truly went berzerk to such an extent that I felt I couldn't reach them, I might worry a little more. But as long as they're simply incredibly p*ssed off but essentially still human, that seems pretty normal for this age.