Moms of new preschoolers/daycare goers

My girls have never been in anyone else's care besides my parents. So, this whole preschool/complete strangers caring for them thing is new to me. Ainsley and Bea are on track with speech, but they can't really tell me what happened at school besides saying "play" or "sing" when I ask them what they did. They can tell me what they ate for snack when asked, but that's about it. When I pick them up, I ask the teacher how they did and it's just "good" or "they participated nicely" or something like that. They have themes for the day and bring home a little craft project, so I have some idea of what went on.

So, what's bothering me is that I don't really know what they were doing, how they are fitting in with the other children, if the fact that they are the youngest in the class is causing them to not keep up, do they understand what they are saying, did they cry, stuff like that. I know I need to let go and I'm not always going to be there, but I have been really paranoid about having other people take care of them.

 

Does their school send home written reports? My kids get daily sheets that note some of the classroom activities, how much lunch they ate, and on days they stay in the afternoon, how long they napped.

If not, could you ask for a brief conference in a couple weeks? Because I pick my kids up early, I'm often able to talk to the teachers about their day. I also have looked for opportunities to ask more detailed questions about whether they were intereacting enough with other kids--not just playing with each other the whole time, etc.

Also, is there any opportunity for you to spend some time visiting at the school?


It is hard to trust them to anyone else--but gets easier as you see them having a good experience developing more social interaction, an so on.

 

QUOTE(mom2znl @ Sep 13 2007, 01:18 PM) [snapback]406295[/snapback]
Does their school send home written reports? My kids get daily sheets that note some of the classroom activities, how much lunch they ate, and on days they stay in the afternoon, how long they napped.

It's only a two hour program, twice I week. OK, I probably sound like a nut being all concerned about what happened in two hours. But no, no written reports. I think they do have them monthly or something like that.

QUOTE
Also, is there any opportunity for you to spend some time visiting at the school?

Yes, they are looking for parent classroom volunteers, but I thought I should wait until they are more used to going to preschool. I think right now it would be a distraction if I was there.

 

I understand how you feel. I have been dropping them off in the morning, but our au pair picks them up. And it's so hectic at these times anyway, that it's really not the time to have a "conference". What our preschool recommends is that if you have concerns, to make an appointment to discuss either in person or by phone with the teacher. I plan to follow up with this shortly and have at least brief phone conferences every two weeks or so.

I'm sure they are doing fine. If there was a problem I'm sure you'd hear about it!

Ask your girls specific things like, did you sit in a circle, what did you do there, what book did your teacher read, what are the other childrens' names. I'm getting a little info as well, but enough to know they are enjoying themselves and the place. And that's about all I could want after Day 2.

 

My daughter just says that things were "good". Their daycare does an activity report every day that states what they did, what they ate, when they napped, and when they went to the bathroom. Is it possible to just "chat" with their teachers when you pick them up. Ours generally meet us when we pick them up. OF course, since my son still puts objects in his mouth, this may be the reason.

 

Yes, it probably does make sense to wait a little bit before spending time in the room with them. If your girls are calm and happy when you pick them up, I'm everything is going just fine for them at school.

 

When my boys started last year, they had almost no verbal skills at all so it did bother me that I didn't know what they had done. I do get a written copy of the "lesson plan" every day with a little note on what my kids enjoyed the most but it still doesn't give me a lot of details about their behavior during the day.

When I picked my boys up after class, I would always ask the teacher one quick question about what they had done such as, "How much time did they spend outside?", "What songs did you sing today?", "What book did you read today?"
Just something that the teacher can give a very quick answer for and then I can talk to my kids about it on the way home and later that day.

Now that my boys are talking, I get very interesting details about their day such as who bit who and what was in everone's lunch .

 

Do they post a lesson plan? That would give you more information about what activities are scheduled for each day. If you want more specific answers, could you ask more specific questions? For example, if you want to know how they participated, you might get more information by asking "Do you think they are participating well? Which activities does each seem to enjoy more?" I would also encourage you to let their teacher know that you are a little nervous about their time away from you and that it would help you during this transition phase if she could share some details about the day. I bet that would give you more information and encourage good communication between you as mom and the teacher.

 

Mine just started daycare this week (3 days/week, today is day 3).

While they do send a "written report" home, the only info on it is when they napped, and a checkoff for if they ate well or not. Other than that it is pre-printed, with the days menu and some info on activities, so I have some idea of what went on, but I'd like a lot more details on how MY kids did, not just what was done. I think I just need to start asking more specific questions when I pick them up.

-Rachel

 

In addition to sending home "daily sheets" that include naptimes, snacks and lunch, books read. songs sung, outside time and favorite activity, my center also does journals that follow the kids up until they're three. The journals are actually more like letters TO the child, from both the center staff, as well as parents (teachers will write a note, send it home, parents wil write a note and send it back, etc) The entries are dated and include pictures of the child. Its almost like a "baby book" that chronicles the growth of the child. The letters usually "tell" the child what they enjoy dong, who their friends in the class are, their favorite activities, etc. Teachers write in it at least a few times a month, but parents are encouraged to write whenever they'd like (parents will wrote about family members, vacations, etc)

Another center I worked at did notebooks that the teachers wrote in every single day (usually at naptime) that detailed the child's day, naptimes, eating habits, etc.


I realize that your girls only go for two hours, but I'm sure if you asked them to write down some daily activities, songs (have them include the lyrics, so you can sing them at home!), outside time, etc they'd be happy to. Also, both centers I've worked at encourage parents to call and speak with the teachers. Many parents will call during the child's day and the teacher will tell them how things are going.

 

Some of that stuff bothers me, and mine have been going to daycare since they were 8 weeks old. I think because they started so young, though, it's just always been that way. But it still seems weird that I have very little idea what my children are experiencing for 9 hours a day. Mine are increasingly verbal, but still not to the point where I can ask a question and get an answer.

Our center does a daily report that says what they had for lunch and snacks (and whether they ate all, most, or "wasn't hungry"), and when they napped and had poopy diapers. Then the teachers handwrite things like "crawled in tunnel, played with blocks," etc. I prefer it when they say something specific about my child, like "Amy really enjoyed painting today" rather than just a laundry list of what all the kids did.

As you get to know the teachers, you'll get a better sense of what they do all day. You can also ask the teachers. And take your time looking around the room, checking out the toys, etc. -- so when they say "Paint" you can picture where they're doing it.

You will also get to know the other kids a little just from seeing them every day, and that helps too.

For your questions about how they're fitting in, whether they get upset about being the youngest, etc., you can request a conference with the teachers. It's probably fine, but it's reasonable to be concerned or just to wonder.

 

We got a written report until Maggie got to the 3 year old room. The twins still get one every day. We also get a weekly newsletter/lesson plan from each room. The suggestion about asking specific questions that they can answer is a good one - or I should say I used that when my oldest wasn't speaking as well as she is now, so it worked for me. You are not a nut wondering what they did - you are just a caring mom!

 

I have been trying to ask the girls more specific questions like "What did you sing today?" "Did you sit in a circle?" "Did you color?" It was another little girl's birthday today, so I asked them if it was a girl's birthday, and when I said did you sing Happy Birthday, they got really excited and started running around. So I take that as a yes.
I will hold off on more of the development type questions of the teacher until they have been there a bit longer. She's still getting to know them too. I will ask what songs are they singing, etc so we can carry that over at home.

 

Hi,
I don't have any experience with pre-schools or daycares since my children aren't in either, but I am a Kindergarten teacher. Just like several other posters suggested, I'd also suggest that you ask very specific questions of your children to get more of an idea about their day.

Even if your kids have only been going for a week, or however long, their teacher should still be able to give you specifics on how they are doing. They can preface it by saying something like, "It's still early, so things may change as they settle into the routine ...." I've been teaching for 13+ years and I have never been put off by a parent who wants to visit after school about how their children are doing and what they are doing (just not before school, unless it has been arranged beforehand, or is an emergency situation. Before school can be too hectic!). I love it when parents show they are interested and want to be involved. I'd say since you're talking about a pre-school program, if your children's teachers are put off by you wanting details and info about how they are doing, you need to find a different program. They should be willing and enthusiastic about talking to you about your children's day. I really think this is especially true because of the age of the children!! Just be sure you ask specific questions. If you ask generic questions, you're bound to get a generic answer. i.e. How were they today? Good. vs. Is child A/B trying to build relationships with other children besides their twin, or does it appear they are dependent on each-other? I know my children are younger than the others, are they able to pay attention during instruction times, or are they off doing their own thing? etc.

As far as you volunteering in the classroom, I don't think you need to wait to do that either. Just remember that you are a volunteer in the classroom. You need to remove your Mommy hat a little. Ask the teacher before you begin how you should handle things if your kids try to leave the group to be with you, or other possible situations that you think may happen. She may want you to take an active approach with them, or she want you to ignore those situations and let her deal with it, or some happy middleground.

I think it's great that you are so interested in what's going on in their day, and that you want to volunteer in their classroom!

 

I completely understand how you're feeling! I know if I'd tried volunteering early on in their preschool careers, my boys would have spent all their time trying to talk to me/hug me, and it would have been too distracting.

If the classroom door has a window, see if it's OK for you to stop by and peek in when your children won't know you're there. You'll get a good feel for how they interact with the other children and how the teachers run the classroom without disrupting anything.

Definitely volunteer after they've had a chance to settle in. It is so much fun!

 

I can totally relate.

We recently started 2 days per wk of daycare. My girls are only 1 1/2 so they can't tell me anything really. The daycare provider does allow me to ask lots of ?'s, when I pick them up.

But YES, I do worry. It is really weird to hand them off. To give up control. To know what's going on. To worry about them. It's NOT easy. But i think it gradually gets easier.

 

My response comes from two perspectives: that of a PreKindergarten teacher and a parent.

You've gotten some good advice from pps. Yes, I think it is reasonable for you to want to know what their day is like. Since daily written reports are not part of the school's policy, I would suggest checking in with a teacher at pickup time for something each of them really enjoyed doing that day, a song that was sung, or a book that was read.

Two suggestions:

1) Sometimes young children (heck, even older ones!) have a hard time answering questions. If you make a casual observation rather than a direct question, i.e. "I hear you had fun playing with Mae today!" or "I noticed you playing in the play kitchen at pickup time," young children sometimes feel more comfortable adding more information without feeling pressured to do so.

2) I would suggest waiting a bit to volunteer. Separation is hard, and some children find it confusing when Mom or Dad is in the room when they typically wouldn't be. Later on in the year, when they're completely comfortable, it can be lots of fun!

-Karen

 

We get a sheet saying what they did(includes what skills they used to do it {ex: interacting, fine motor skills, gross motor skills}), when they were changed and weather they were dry wet or dirty, when they napped, their overall attitude for the day and exactly what they were served and what they ate.

On the birthday thing they do one party for everyone who has a b=day that month and they all get a present(small stuff animals) its so cute.