Moms of fraternals

Do people ever make you doubt your kids are fraternals? I KNOW my boys are fraternal--they barely look related! Yet every once in a while, someone will comment on how similar they look, or how hard it is to tell them apart.

My gut reaction is "You're kidding me, right?" but then, so many moms of ID twins are shocked to find out they are ID! I guess if you don't see them every day, my boys might look more similar, but even in older pictures, I have no trouble telling who is who, and neither does anyone who actually knows them. But...we know them so we're the worst judges right?

I know, the things I think about when I'm sitting up at 2:30 in the morning unable to sleep...

 

Yes! it seems like half of the people who see them ask, "how do you tell them apart?" The other half comment on how different they look. I think they are frats--their hair is so different, but I have also noticed that parents of what looks to me to be IDs usually don't think that they are ID.

pics of mine

 

QUOTE(mahovina @ Dec 22 2008, 03:01 AM) [snapback]1118778[/snapback]
Yes! it seems like half of the people who see them ask, "how do you tell them apart?" The other half comment on how different they look. I think they are frats--their hair is so different, but I have also noticed that parents of what looks to me to be IDs usually don't think that they are ID.

pics of mine


your guys certainly do look a lot alike. mine are ID but they look about as similar as yous do. anything is possible, you might get the DNA test done anyway if they don't start looking more distinctly different as they get a little older.

 

My personal opinion is that most people are clueless and simply think that twins should look alike. Mine look like brother and sister, but nothing more than that obviously. They're certainly not identical since one has a penis. I think if you don't think they look alike, no more than a regular brothers they're probably just fraternal. It's just because people don't know the difference between identical and fraternal, not even with boy / girl twins like in my case.

 

We have b/g twins and my sister tells me they look identical, which they don't at all. I agree with pp that people just assume that all twins look alike or should. I can't tell you how many family members I had to explain to that they are b/g, so they are fraternal. They would look puzzled at me and ask why. Really... it amazes me. I want to say penis & vagina, not identical but DH won't let me say that, lol.

My DH's theory is when people aren't around them as much as we are that they can't see the differences that we see. Here is their 6 month picture and we can see the differences:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v521/ckr...Lily6months.jpg

 

I think that just about everyone with B/G twins has been asked if they're identical or fraternal. Someone (a visitor) asked me that question in the hospital, and while I would have loved to say that one had a penis, I just said that one was a boy and one was a girl and left it at that (they got the message!).

PS - All of your babies are beautiful.

 

I have several people tell me how Evan looks just like me... but then others who say that he looks more like his dad than his older brother does, who in the past has been said was a 'mini-me' of his dad. I'd take all those opinions with a grain of salt. You know they are fraternal. That is all that matters.

 

QUOTE(Mom2SofieAndTwins @ Dec 22 2008, 10:46 AM) [snapback]1118791[/snapback]
My personal opinion is that most people are clueless and simply think that twins should look alike.

ITA! Especially if they are the same sex...they must be identical. Mine dont look much alike and I still get the "Are they identical" question.

 

Mine have pink and blue carseats and pink and blue bundle me's. And at the Doctor's last week I was asked are they identical. I said, no one's a boy and one's a girl. She said, but they look so similar. First, I don't think they look similar. Second, they are a boy and a girl! People just have no idea.

 

I really think it's that when people think twins they think identical although a majority are not. People are really clueless.

 

QUOTE(Pookersb @ Dec 22 2008, 09:23 AM) [snapback]1118957[/snapback]
Mine have pink and blue carseats and pink and blue bundle me's. And at the Doctor's last week I was asked are they identical. I said, no one's a boy and one's a girl. She said, but they look so similar. First, I don't think they look similar. Second, they are a boy and a girl! People just have no idea.


I actually had shirts for mine - one said BOY in blue and brown and one said GIRL in pink and white and not only did I have people ask me if they were identical - I also had people say "how cute - 2 boys!" People are idiots and when it comes to multiple babies they get even stupider!

 

Aimee, do you KNOW they are fraternal b/c you've had them tested, or just b/c you can tell them apart so easily??

Mine are fraternal, boy/girl, and my sister-in-law as ID girls. When I go over and see them and I cant tell them apart, she thinks it is soo wierd b/c I have twins too, and she thinks I should be able to tell.. Im like, its a little easier to tell a boy and a girl apart..lol.. Her girls have very slight differences to me, but her and DH can tell them apart easily. Im sure if I saw them more regularly I would be able to tell them apart easier too. One of their eyes are shaped a little differently, and if I go by that I can tell.

Personally if I had same sex twins and they looked similar at all, I would do DNA.

 

My stupid question to end all stupid questions. It's actually a two-parter:

Man: They are twins, right?
Me: Yes, they are.
Man: So, I guess they're the same age?
Me: [mouth hanging open, no words at all would come to me for a second.]

 

QUOTE(2plusbgtwins @ Dec 22 2008, 10:29 AM) [snapback]1119040[/snapback]
Aimee, do you KNOW they are fraternal b/c you've had them tested, or just b/c you can tell them apart so easily??


Because we can tell them apart so easily. They also have different hair and eye color, though they are both blond/blue, Roman is kind of strawberry blond, and joel is a towhead, and Roman's eyes are darker blue. I don't think it's possible for ID twins to have different coloring like that?

Joe:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3122/312572..._2843fd9a7b.jpg

Roe:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3121/312489..._cde2dd600d.jpg

 

We get that a lot - "they look exactly the same!" Yet we don't think they look related. We joke that people will think that we have a daughter and her friend out with us as they get older. The most common question for us is"is one a boy and one a girl"...ummmm, no - they are both in pink carseats!! (ok, I know in my pic below, one is wearing blue and green, but I never take her out like that! )

 

Yup, people are none too bright!!

My boys look related, but they don't at all look identical. We can tell them apart easily in pictures from newborn through now, and family and friends have no problems telling them apart. Yet, I have this conversation all the time when we are out in public: Stranger - "Are they identical?" Me - "No." Stranger (looking back and forth from boy to boy) - "Well, they sure look identical to me!" I even had a lady tell me (a few weeks ago), "You go and tell your doctor that they ARE identical!" Thanks, stranger, for your valuable opinion.

I've noticed that most of the comments come from women in the 55-75 age range...

And, Aimee, I've seen lots of pics of your boys, and MHO is that they barely look related... if they are identical, one of them has a genetic mutation (I'd put money on Roman, since he's kind of a daredevil superhero...)

 

I brought pictures of the babies into my counselors office today and she said, "Are they identical?" I said, "No, they are boy/girl." She was like, "Oh, God, they look so much alike!!!!" Which I think they do have a resemblance in pictures, but if you did not know the sex and saw them up close, you could definitely tell they are not identical. Luke has a dark complexion and brown eyes, Sophia is fairer with blue eyes.

 

I had mastitis when the boys were newborns. The boys are clearly fraternal, but the OB I saw at my appt looked at them and asked if they were identical. Me: "no." OB "They look identical to me." This was after I saw my normal OB and our pedi who both said they clearly aren't identical and they have distinct facial differences. I wanted to tell this OB to take his glasses off and clean them.

 

We get this question a lot, even though they're B/G twins. Often after I say no they're not identical, the person says, "Are you sure? They look so alike." Well, they're both babies that are the same age, and siblings, so that might be why!

What's funny to me is that I think they look totally different, but family and friends often can't tell them apart. I don't understand it at all. I think it's because they're similar sizes, have the same amount of hair, and look like they're related?

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Dec 22 2008, 12:09 PM) [snapback]1119095[/snapback]
Because we can tell them apart so easily. They also have different hair and eye color, though they are both blond/blue, Roman is kind of strawberry blond, and joel is a towhead, and Roman's eyes are darker blue. I don't think it's possible for ID twins to have different coloring like that?

Joe:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3122/312572..._2843fd9a7b.jpg

Roe:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3121/312489..._cde2dd600d.jpg

OMG Aimee-I havent seen pictures of your little guys in a while-they have changed so much! Too cute!
I am lucky that mine are b/g but like pp's said even the most obvious difference isnt always enough!

 

Wow, those are great pictures of some GORGEOUS babies!

I think they look a lot alike, but obviously you know them much better.

As far as frats looking alike to strangers - my twins have always looked so different that they barely look related, but strangers have often said, "Oooh, they look just like each other!" I think babies are just a blur to a lot of people, at least at a quick glance, so of course they look alike. Small, short hair, chubby cheeks - WOW, they must be identical!

 

When I'm out and about people are always saying, "it's obvious they are identical" and seem very surprised when I tell them that they are indeed fraternal.

They look very different to me, but I'm the mommy. Most people who see them long enough like friends and family say it takes them some time but they eventually can tell them apart. We knew they were frats right from the beginning, though. They have different blood types.

 

I think some people are just simply crazy. Your boys look nothing alike. My girls don't either and we get those comments all the time.

 

My theory.....obviously if you have twins they have the same mommy and daddy (well *most* of the time! ), which means roughly the same "genes" are going to be present in them.

If you look at baby pictures of my two older kids, they have distinct resemblances. BUT because there is a 5 yr difference, obviously they don't look identical because one is grown up and one is a baby.

But if I had all my kids at the same time I can almost gaurantee that people would think they were identical, because they are ALL related to dh and I. The reason they "assume" twins are identical is because they are both babies at the same time. If there was even a 2 yr difference they wouldn't make that assumption because of the age difference.

As frats grow up they are going to start looking (and acting) more and more like individuals which will make it easier for other people to tell them apart, but since they are both babies at the same time, the resemblances are more pronounced.

Did that make sense??? It's nearly 12 am and I'm ready for bed so hopefully it's not a babble!

 

Its just drives me crazy when ppl assume twins are always boy/girl. Then when I tell them its two girls, they are like "oh,ok" and you can tell they dont even know which one they assumed was a boy! And strangers always ask if they are identical and my girls look nothing alike! Callie looks just like me and Camryn looks like my husband. Here's a recent pic that I put on facebook:

Callie and Camryn

 

QUOTE(Monica08 @ Dec 23 2008, 09:09 AM) [snapback]1120184[/snapback]
Its just drives me crazy when ppl assume twins are always boy/girl. Then when I tell them its two girls, they are like "oh,ok" and you can tell they dont even know which one they assumed was a boy! And strangers always ask if they are identical and my girls look nothing alike! Callie looks just like me and Camryn looks like my husband. Here's a recent pic that I put on facebook:

Callie and Camryn


They are adorable! but i have to be the devil's advocate they do look ALOT alike :ibiggrin:

 

mine are in my siggy! and are frats; charlotte has deep blue eyes and Eve has light blue eyes; they even have different mouths and noses! I have to admit i was one of those people who knew nothing about twins til my came out looking soooo different! :lol:

 

People are always telling me that my two look identical and I don't think they even look like sisters. I don't know how anyone could mistake them for each other.

Scarlet and Ruby

Don't mind the nasty looking bathtub, when we bought the house the guy selling it thought it would be a good idea to paint the tub. Just so you know, it's not.

 

i have b\g twins and they dont even look related as far as im concerned one looks just like me and one look jst like dad! But i have had people ask if they were identical every once and awhile. I think people asum ejust bcause ther twin they should look alike

 

hahaha, I'm so glad I'm not the only one with B/G and asked if they're identical.

My usual response, "Well, the boy has a penis, and the girl has a unibrow."

Good picture of Alice's unibrow
http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i270/bec...ed/IMG_5709.jpg

And Royce's lack of unibrow
http://mangoat.net/gallery/main.php?g2_vie..._serialNumber=2

together
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mangoat/3092171755/

 

QUOTE(3greysandamutt @ Dec 22 2008, 12:21 PM) [snapback]1119113[/snapback]
I've noticed that most of the comments come from women in the 55-75 age range...


I totally agree. My frats look "related" but not identical at all. My family can totally tell them apart and friends too. However, most old women say they look just alike. I just love it when ppl ask "How in the world can you tell them apart" I just want to bust up. I should say we have their names tatooed on their backside!! :lol:

These are Halloween pics, but they are side by side

Aidan and Ethan

 

Yes they do. And then I have to say, really? We tell them apart because one has bright red hair and the other is blonde!!

 

Yes, like so many of the PP's...we get asked all the time and then asked again, "Are you SURE?" This has been going on ever since they were born. We would always reply, "No, they are fraternal. One is a boy and the other is a girl." Still many would insist we were wrong because they "look so much alike." I thought telling them that they are 2 different genders would be enough, but I guess some people are more "visual." So then I thought we would outgrow it because as they got older people would certainly notice that one is a girl and the other is a boy. Nope!

 

we got that a lot when they were younger but they look nothing alike even than.
DS has light brown hair and dark skin like daddy and DD has dark hair and fine skin

 

My "fraternal" twins actually are identical so the people who told me those first few months before I started to wonder weren't so crazy. But still, I also had people insist that Trevor looked like a girl (even dressed head-to-toe in blue with a giant truck image on his shirt) or that one looked like my husband and the other like me and even one relative who told me that one had darker hair than the other and then later repeated the remark but about the opposite baby.

Oh, and we have a rather shallow gene pool here (meaning DH & I bear a superficial resemblance to each other and both have a load of recessive genes) so most likely all of our potential children would be blue-eyed blondes with dented chins, detached earlobes, and straight hairlines. It's difficult for most people to pick out anything beyond the most obvious differences from a casual glance and that's all they're relying upon so we'd surely fool some if the boys were frats.

Also, if you haven't already discovered it, some people lack a filter between the brain and the mouth and these comments are actually some of the less irritating ones. Stuff like "Which one is the good one?" gets ever so much more annoying when they understand the question.