Mommy's Girl

Breena is SUCH a mommy's girl. She follows me around, holding her blanket with one hand, the other hand stretched up toward me, WHINING. This is all day every day. She is really not interested in playing alone or with her sister. She literally wants to sit on my lap all the time. If I ignore her, she archs her back and screams. This is driving me crazy!

What do I do? I'm starting to worry because she isn't interested in playing with anything at this point. Well, except my cell phone and the tv remotes. When we go to the park, she kind of wanders around by herself for 5 minutes or so, then comes back and whines until I hold her. She's not sick...I took her to the ped to make sure.

Should I be concerned that she doesn't want to play with anything? That she seems antisocial? What do I do? This has been going on for weeks!!

 

That's a very tough question. I'll have to think a little more and see what I can come up with. I'll also check in "what to expect the toddler years" :hug:

 

I imagine it is just a phase that she will outgrow to some extent. Ava is my mommys girl - she is sitting on my lap right now as a matter of a fact. I let her sit with me as much as I can and the rest of the time I just tell her "mommy has to cook" etc.... yeah - she cries but she is standing right by me and I know she is fine. I feel bad for Addison because Ava is so needy - Addison has learned to play by herself and be happy just being around me - not attached!

 

Becca is also very attached, part of me loves and part of me wants the clinging vine to go cling somewhere else.

All you can do is talk her through the separation times...she should grow out of it (although *my* mom may disagree).

Miriam

 

Oh, that's Ivy alright! (My goodness, when I named her I had NO idea how appropriate it would be... <_< )

There is light at the end of the tunnel, though. In the last month or so, she's been getting better. One thing that seems to help is talking to her a lot about how nice other people are. ("Wow, Daddy made you oatmeal for breakfast! YUM! What a nice Daddy! He loves you so much." etc.) Also letting her have time with other people - even when she's clingy, I still get away to take breaks/do chores and let DH take care of her. If I'm around, she wants nothing to do with him, but leave them together, and she figures out he's ok too.

And I have a hunch it's developmental, too. I think she's outgrowing it, little by little. I hope things will get better for you over the next few months too! :hug:

 

I guess there are a couple of different possibilities. The first is that, yes, it is just a phase. I had 4 of the 5 exactly the same way. They really just want to be completely a part of me at all times. It gets old, but it does get better, too!

Next, how long has this been going on? Could she be sick...or uncomfortable about something? Or was there some kind of change in your lifestyle? Sometimes kids react like this to different things going on.

Last, do you see it as a severe problem, or just annoying? Because if it truly seems as though she's become anti-social and won't interact with anyone at all, or even play by herself (even if you are in the room), then you probably should address it with your pedi.

There's my 2 cents worth...I hope it gets better soon for you! :hug:

 

QUOTE(Heathermomof5 @ Dec 8 2008, 11:35 PM) [snapback]1102813[/snapback]
I imagine it is just a phase that she will outgrow to some extent. Ava is my mommys girl - she is sitting on my lap right now as a matter of a fact. I let her sit with me as much as I can and the rest of the time I just tell her "mommy has to cook" etc.... yeah - she cries but she is standing right by me and I know she is fine. I feel bad for Addison because Ava is so needy - Addison has learned to play by herself and be happy just being around me - not attached!


Yep, this is how I feel about poor Baylinn! She plays so well by herself and even with other kids at the park. She just does her own thing. When she does try to get on my lap, Breena has a total fit. So she's jealous AND clingy!

 

QUOTE(HRE @ Dec 9 2008, 12:21 AM) [snapback]1102861[/snapback]
I guess there are a couple of different possibilities. The first is that, yes, it is just a phase. I had 4 of the 5 exactly the same way. They really just want to be completely a part of me at all times. It gets old, but it does get better, too!

Next, how long has this been going on? Could she be sick...or uncomfortable about something? Or was there some kind of change in your lifestyle? Sometimes kids react like this to different things going on.

Last, do you see it as a severe problem, or just annoying? Because if it truly seems as though she's become anti-social and won't interact with anyone at all, or even play by herself (even if you are in the room), then you probably should address it with your pedi.

There's my 2 cents worth...I hope it gets better soon for you! :hug:


We did have some disruption lately. They had ear infections before Thanksgiving and then we went out of town for the holiday. She really didn't want to go to anyone else while we were visiting....she stuck to me like glue. HOWEVER, on Black Friday, DH and I went out before they got up and my MIL took care of them and she was fine with her...not whiney, played with her cousins, etc. When we came home after shopping, she stuck to me like glue!

She also had a bad reaction to the antibiotic she was taking and has been at various doctors... and I even spent a night with her in the hospital. Of course I never left her side when she was sick, so maybe that's why things seem to be worse lately....even though she's feeling better.

I think it's mostly just annoying. She does fine without me when she's with DH or even the babysitter. As long as I'm not around. But if I'm in the room, she wants only me and all to herself!

Thanks for the thought-provoking questions! It really does seem like maybe this is just a phase.

 

Because you said this has been going on for "a few weeks," I am thinking it is a phase. My girls went through a terrible whiny, clingy phase at 14 months. I'll never forget it. It was the end of summer, and I could not wait to go back to school! It got much better at around 18 months...then they turned two, and another phase rolled in (lol). No real advice, just leave her alone any time you see that she's interested in a toy, a show, a sibling, whatever...then praise her for doing such a great job playing. Give her a hug. Try starting her with something, such as a puzzle or dollhouse, and then leave the room or stay in the room doing something else when you can. If you commit to spending a half hour or twnty minutes here and there to really play something with her and show her how to enjoy some solitary things, maybe then she can build on that and learn to do some things independently. Also, sometimes you need to just do what you're doing and let her cry. Our kids do need to learn that we are busy sometimes and they must wait...they hate this! I hope this helps, it's a tough phase, but it doesn't last forever. Take some mommy time for yourself!

 

One of my boys is like that. I found it odd at first because that is completely the opposite of his twin. He is slowly starting to out grow that stage though in some ways. My 5 year old was like that as well and he out grew it around 3.

 

DD has had this on and off since July. It is mostly better now but she has her days like today. Hugs to ya!

 

Is there a time line for a so-called 'phase'? lol... b/c my DD is over 2 now, and she is still semi-like this. She has her moments. She can definitely spend more time away from me, playing in the room w/ her siblings, but at times she is still very clingy. . as OP mentioned, when she is with my mother or her father, or anyone she is familiar with and Im not around, she is FINE! But as soon as I walk through the door, she wants me to pick her up. I usually will pick her up, but just to give her a hug and say hi, since I've been at work or wherever and she hasnt seen me for a while. If I just ran to the store or something, then I try not to pick her up, b/c I was probably only gone about 20 minutes... and she is even getting better, that if I was only gone for a short time, she may not even try to get me to pick her up.

So, I guess Im saying all this to say. . .IT DOES GET BETTER.. but I dont know how long until it goes away. She is the 'spoiled' one out of the bunch here, so any time she gets hurt or even if someone just hurts her feelings, she still wants to be held, and she is WAAYY over dramatic about the littlest things. I dont know how to make that stop.

I love my cuddle bug, but I cant always hold her, and I do the same thing. Just talk to her and tell her "mommy is cooking/busy/doing laundry, etc and I cant hold you right now" so she doesnt think Im just ignoring her or not wanting to be with her.. (I also feel bad for my DS b/c he has always been the more independent one who can play alone or with others and lately he has been wanting more attention...although DD hasnt been too terrible about sharing my lap unless shes tired.)

I hope it gets better for us all. .

 

When Karina acts like this, it's almost always out of boredom. The kiddos are gated into the family room, and can't roam free in the house without supervision -- but, if I leave Kevan to do his thing, and let Karina wander (always two steps behind her), then she's FINE. She doesn't need mommy at all, and happily explores.

Same thing in our basement -- we have a lot of space, all filled with toys. We tried gating off one room filled with baby toys, and the rest of the basement has Nadia's (and our!) stuff. Well, after some time, Kevan & Karina both get tired of it and start whining....BUT, if we let them out to rifle through Nadia's things, they're happy as clams. We could be down there for hours (and the basement gets absolutely trashed), but they stay busy playing and don't even look at me once.

Just a thought! For the longest time, I thought, oh, maybe it was hunger, thirst, teething, upset stomach, not enough sleep, etc. -- nope! Just boredom!

 

QUOTE(Becca34 @ Dec 9 2008, 08:17 PM) [snapback]1104178[/snapback]
When Karina acts like this, it's almost always out of boredom. The kiddos are gated into the family room, and can't roam free in the house without supervision -- but, if I leave Kevan to do his thing, and let Karina wander (always two steps behind her), then she's FINE. She doesn't need mommy at all, and happily explores.

Same thing in our basement -- we have a lot of space, all filled with toys. We tried gating off one room filled with baby toys, and the rest of the basement has Nadia's (and our!) stuff. Well, after some time, Kevan & Karina both get tired of it and start whining....BUT, if we let them out to rifle through Nadia's things, they're happy as clams. We could be down there for hours (and the basement gets absolutely trashed), but they stay busy playing and don't even look at me once.

Just a thought! For the longest time, I thought, oh, maybe it was hunger, thirst, teething, upset stomach, not enough sleep, etc. -- nope! Just boredom!


Yes!! Breena is easily bored too. I have them gated off and they have lots of space to play, but they always want to be where I don't want them LOL.

Usually after breakfast, she'll play for awhile with her sister or by herself while I clean up the kitchen. But after about a 1/2 hour, she's at my side wanting picked up. She somehow associates me with being the one that has to entertain her!