Mommy Guilt

If it isn't one thing it is another. When I was pregnant I should have eaten better. When they were little I should have done something or other different. Yesterday I should have made him sit in the chair for the 57th time because I knew he was going to tip it over eventually. Today? Well, I am sure if I thought hard enough I could come up with a whole list. Most recently though it has been bugging me that I end up spending more time with one than the other. It isn't intentional on my part or DH's. It just happens. 9 times out of 10 I seem to end up with the same baby and I can't help but feel that it isn't fair to his brother. I do my best to make all things equal - and even go so far as to have a running count of who got to do some special one-on-one mommy time activity last and always swapping off. But I am starting to notice that where before they would both pick me over daddy, the baby who has been ending up with daddy most often is now starting to pick daddy over me. I am all for daddy bonding, but I miss my other baby, too. Is this normal? Not the guilt part - of course that's normal - but the just naturally spending more time with one more than the other?

 

I think its completely normal and I think its great that the babies have two loving parents to spend thier time with.
I think they will go through phases. I know when mine were younger, DH always had DD because she preferred the bottle and DS prefered the breast. I was always nursing him.
Now that they are older DS loves DH and DD clings to me like a little cling on following me everywhere.
I think they take turns, and I welcome the time and space I get with each baby.

 

Its normal and cyclical. Right now Meara is going thru a mega-mommy phase, but last month it was Ana who needed me more. Don't stress. They aren't 'keeping score.'

 

It's totally normal! You are a good Mommy :hug: Mine go through phases where they will prefer me over DH and vice versa.

 

Yep! I have to agree it is normal!! My DD is a complete daddy's girl. She always has been since birth. My DS, on the other hand, is a momma's boy. It sometimes hurts when DD wants daddy over me, but I know it is vice versa with DH as for as my DS goes. DH sometimes gets his feelings hurt when DS only wants mommy when he's hurt, sick, tired, etc.....

 

It is normal, and the guilt is normal, too! Jackson is much more attached to me (to the exclusion of DP) than Jacob (who will take either equally), but I have no doubt they both love both of their parents.

 

All normal. Or at least normal in my house!