mom ticketed for spanking daughter in public

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by bridgeport, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. bridgeport

    bridgeport Well-Known Member

    the news story

    I've heard reference to some good spanking debates on here before, but I've never seen one (perhaps before my time on the site). I'm not necessarily trying to start another debate (surefire way to start a debate, I know), but I am curious what you all think of this story.

    There are still some factual questions to be resolved in this story -- was it 'just' a spanking, or something more severe? But, from what we know so far, do you think it's appropriate for police to ticket a mother for spanking her child in public? How serious does the spanking need to be before a ticket is warranted?

    ETA: I actually meant to post this in PC, but I'll leave it to mods' discretion whether it's worth moving. Thanks.
     
  2. Mommyof3in05

    Mommyof3in05 Well-Known Member

    Wow what do you say to this most of us have swated our children when the need has arised like when they yank out of our grasp in a busy parking lot running in front of cars. By no means do I mean yes beat your children everyday, but most likely if she swated the little girl she has a diper on and what it seems as these people were accross the street that sided the wittness statments and who can see very well throught the parada and people to see what really happened and how hard it was. I think it was 1 person seeing it happen and then everyone else fallowed suit.
     
  3. Becca34

    Becca34 Well-Known Member

    Wow. It's really hard to know what actually happened from that story....did they examine the girl for any injury, for instance?

    Although I'm not a fan of spanking as a disciplinary tactic (it's done out of anger most of the time, and I think there are better methods), I also don't think a mother should get a ticket for swatting her daughter on the bottom. I've never even heard of such a thing?!
     
  4. Mum2TwinBoys

    Mum2TwinBoys Well-Known Member

    It is amazing how "free" we are to do everything else but when it comes to discipline the government wants to breathe down our neck and say no, no. Take a look at society today, lack of discipline is what has brought up this disrespectful, unmotivated, expecting everything era. I am not saying beat your children, what I am saying is if they are deserving of something more than "sit in timeout" you should be able to do that without someone else disciplining you.
     
  5. Heathermomof5

    Heathermomof5 Well-Known Member

    I do not think she should have gotten ticketed assuming it was a swat on the rear - I think that if the police thought the child was in danger, they should have done more than just ticket her and if they just saw her swat the child on the rear for misbehaving they should have left her alone.
     
  6. Tripsmommy

    Tripsmommy Well-Known Member

    odd enough, but am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani... tell me this is not a little different... or maybe they weren't expecting twins and Lailani is the ONLY name they could ever agree on...
    sorry to hijack, just an observation...
     
  7. MrsBQ02

    MrsBQ02 Well-Known Member

    Wow. That's insane. Unless the little girl had obvious injuries, I don't know HOW on earth that can be legal. When your child is trying to run into a dangerous situation, you have to get their attention somehow. Sometimes that means a spanking. I would love to think that all kids listened and obeyed the first time mom or dad gave directions, but we all know that's NEVER going to happen! Poor family!!!

    I just had to add- if you look at the reader's comments, some of them are HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!! :mad: :shok: On and on about how the dad needs a vasectomy, etc... Seriously people, MYOB. I'd like to know how many of them have ever dealt with twin toddlers... it ain't easy folks! --- sorry, that just really irritated me. :blush:
     
  8. Stacy A.

    Stacy A. Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Tripsmommy @ Jul 10 2008, 11:24 AM) [snapback]869746[/snapback]
    odd enough, but am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani... tell me this is not a little different... or maybe they weren't expecting twins and Lailani is the ONLY name they could ever agree on...
    sorry to hijack, just an observation...


    LOL. Mine are Ian and Anna and I've joked that if we have another girl, we could name her Ianna.

    If it was just a spanking, I think it was totally out of line to ticket her. First of all, is it even legal? Is there a law on the books that says spanking is illegal and can be dealt with though ticketing? If not, the officer was inserting his personal opinion in place of the law. I say this because, even though the ticket was technically for "injury to a child" there was no evidence of injury.

    I do admit that I spank my children. I do not do so out of anger. In fact, I make sure I am very calm, tell them several times why they are getting the spanking, and do offer comfort. We don't spank for every misbehavior, but, for more serious offenses, time-out just doesn't do it. I only spank for direct disobedience, not childishness. There are times they do something they shouldn't, but it isn't direct disobedience. They do not get spanked for these things. Although, to drive the point home, I have spanked for running into a parking lot or doing something dangerous. The risk of injury is my one exception to this rule because I think some temporary pain will help them remember and avoid greater pain.
     
  9. plattsandra103

    plattsandra103 Well-Known Member

    QUOTE
    odd enough, but am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani... tell me this is not a little different... or maybe they weren't expecting twins and Lailani is the ONLY name they could ever agree on...


    no, that jumped at me immediately, as well--how confusing!

    i have to agree with pp that it seems the onlookers and police have gone overboard. i am also not pro spanking, but agree it was most likely a physically harmless action--that is to say, the girl probably was not injured in the "spanking" of her diaper covered rear end--which is what the citation is for.
     
  10. snoopytwins

    snoopytwins Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Tripsmommy @ Jul 10 2008, 10:24 AM) [snapback]869746[/snapback]
    odd enough, but am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani... tell me this is not a little different... or maybe they weren't expecting twins and Lailani is the ONLY name they could ever agree on...
    sorry to hijack, just an observation...

    Nope...i thought it very confusing.

    A swatting on the bottom should not be worthy of a citation, particularly "if" (and the article doesn't say) the officer didn't observe any type of mark/redness/etc and it wasn't worthy of taking the children away or placing her into custody.
     
  11. bridgeport

    bridgeport Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Heathermomof5 @ Jul 10 2008, 08:22 AM) [snapback]869741[/snapback]
    I think that if the police thought the child was in danger, they should have done more than just ticket her and if they just saw her swat the child on the rear for misbehaving they should have left her alone.

    This was kind of my thought as well. If it was bad enough that they were concerned for the child's safety, then why just a ticket? And if it wasn't bad enough that they were concerned for her safety, then why did they get involved at all?

    I'm not a fan of spanking, and I hope I have the patience to never spank my kids. But that's not because I believe it's abusive, simply that it's not an effective form of discipline. If another parent finds it effective, and it's not taken to an extreme where the child is actually in physical danger, then it's none of my (or anyone else's) business.

    QUOTE(Tripsmommy @ Jul 10 2008, 08:24 AM) [snapback]869746[/snapback]
    odd enough, but am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani...

    I must have read that 8 times just to be sure I was seeing it correctly. Guess Lailani can't ever shorten her name...either way, she'll have the same name as a sister.
     
  12. DarciH

    DarciH Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Mum2TwinBoys @ Jul 10 2008, 03:18 PM) [snapback]869732[/snapback]
    It is amazing how "free" we are to do everything else but when it comes to discipline the government wants to breathe down our neck and say no, no. Take a look at society today, lack of discipline is what has brought up this disrespectful, unmotivated, expecting everything era. I am not saying beat your children, what I am saying is if they are deserving of something more than "sit in timeout" you should be able to do that without someone else disciplining you.


    Rebecca, you hit the nail on the head with your post--I couldn't agree more. I too don't believe in beating/slapping children, but a firm swat on the butt when warranted never hurt anyone, myself included. It's more of an 'attention getter' than to cause pain, IMO. I absolutely cringe when I'm shopping or in line at a store and hear some of the things children say to their parents/adults, i.e. rude backtalk, using profanity, name calling, etc. If I had spoken that way to my parents/elders, I'd still be grounded! I pity the person who someday might have the nerve to say anything to me if I have to discipline one of the kids in public. :girl_devil:
     
  13. Jennie-OH

    Jennie-OH Well-Known Member

    I totally agree with the PPs that a normal spanking should not be ticketable. But I read this and they had NINE people - strangers - willing to actually write down an eye-witness account. NINE?! That's quite a bit. Was she screaming like a crazy person too? I don't know on this one. The child could very well have escaped injury even though the spanking got out of hand. If it were a simple swat on the butt, I don't see NINE people writing statements. And, honestly, if it required more than a swat, take the kids home! Some situations just aren't worth the stress, kwim? I have spanked the girls. Rarely but we have had occasions that warranted it. I was very calm and methodical about it. Warned them. Told them they would get a spanking. Then spanked them. I find this lady's story VERY suspicious. Bet they find a security camera that caught it.
     
  14. Twin nanny

    Twin nanny Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Jennie-OH @ Jul 10 2008, 07:01 PM) [snapback]870019[/snapback]
    I totally agree with the PPs that a normal spanking should not be ticketable. But I read this and they had NINE people - strangers - willing to actually write down an eye-witness account. NINE?! That's quite a bit. Was she screaming like a crazy person too? I don't know on this one. The child could very well have escaped injury even though the spanking got out of hand. If it were a simple swat on the butt, I don't see NINE people writing statements. And, honestly, if it required more than a swat, take the kids home! Some situations just aren't worth the stress, kwim?
    I agree with Jennie here. I can't imagine nine different people being willing to write and sign witness statements if all she did was 'swat' the girl.

    QUOTE
    am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani... tell me this is not a little different

    That is the first thing that jumped out at me as well, It must be really confusing-not to mention being practically a tongue twister to call all three!
     
  15. twinzmom2b

    twinzmom2b Well-Known Member

    QUOTE(Tripsmommy @ Jul 10 2008, 03:24 PM) [snapback]869746[/snapback]
    odd enough, but am i the only one noticing the oddness of the 3 girls' names???
    the older daughter is Lailani...and the twins are Laila and Lani... tell me this is not a little different... or maybe they weren't expecting twins and Lailani is the ONLY name they could ever agree on...
    sorry to hijack, just an observation...


    I thought the SAME thing as I was reading!

    QUOTE(Jennie-OH @ Jul 10 2008, 06:01 PM) [snapback]870019[/snapback]
    I totally agree with the PPs that a normal spanking should not be ticketable. But I read this and they had NINE people - strangers - willing to actually write down an eye-witness account. NINE?! That's quite a bit. Was she screaming like a crazy person too? I don't know on this one. The child could very well have escaped injury even though the spanking got out of hand. If it were a simple swat on the butt, I don't see NINE people writing statements. And, honestly, if it required more than a swat, take the kids home! Some situations just aren't worth the stress, kwim? I have spanked the girls. Rarely but we have had occasions that warranted it. I was very calm and methodical about it. Warned them. Told them they would get a spanking. Then spanked them. I find this lady's story VERY suspicious. Bet they find a security camera that caught it.

    Wonder how much a ticket for spanking is? I agree with Jennie on this. I have spanked my girls, but only in situations where something is dangerous (running out into the street, running in a parking lot, etc). I do the same warning them, telling them they will be spanked and then doing it...it doesn't hurt them, but it does get the point across. Personally, I was spanked as a kid and there's nothing wrong with me becauase of it. I think that if 9 people were illing to write it up and thought it was "that bad" then it sounds like more than a "swat" on the butt.
     
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