Miss Independence

This is more of just a vent, but this week Naomi has decided she needs to do everything "by herself." For the most part, it is not a problem, she does what she can and doesn't mind if I help her after she has tried. In the mornings it is another story. Yesterday and today I have been late getting to work because of her and the "I wanna do it." Add this to the fact that both girls' sleep is out of whack this week (not falling asleep until late then not wanting to get up in the morning) and its been total chaos here.

Here was this morning: I had to go wake them up at 7 to get going. Sophia got up, went in the living room, laid on the floor and tried to go back to sleep. I let her father deal with her <_< Naomi announces she doesn't want to get out of bed, I tell her she has to, etc. etc. She refuses so I lift her out of bed. Now she is mad that I took her out of the bed rather then let her get out on her own. Then I tell her to go to the bathroom and go potty. Since she is still mad about the bed thing she ignores me, so I eventually carry her into the bathroom. NOW she is mad and yelling "I want to walk!" and is mad I carried her. THEN she is mad because I pulled her pajama pants down to go potty (since she was to busy yelling to do it herself). After a few minutes of THIS tantrum, she eventually goes potty, we go back to the bedroom and I tell her to pick out her underwear (I pick out the girls clothes the night before and they pick out their own socks and underwear) so she opens the drawer but then just stands and looks at the underwear like she is window shopping. After numerous times of telling her to pick some, I finally say forget it and grab some for her to wear. So of course another tantrum ensues because *I* picked them not her. :headbang: Then follows a wrestling match between her and I because she wants to put them on herself but she takes too long and more often then not gets both legs in one hole, has them sideways/backwards, etc. and I don't have time for this today. So I am at my wits end and she is naked and crying, and in the meantime DH has gotten Sophia dressed and ready to go, no problems.

Yes, we eventually all made it out the door fully-clothed and not crying. I know this is another phase and honestly it wouldn't be a big deal if they were waking up when they normally do and on their own (not having to be woke up), because then we would have plenty of time. It really sucks big time that her independent streak decided to increase at the same time the sleep issues are happening. And of course now that tomorrow is Saturday and we CAN sleep in, they will be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed before 7am. :gah:

Anyway thanks for letting me vent!

 

:hug:

 

:hug: So not a fun phase! The upside is that soon you will have a very capable little girl on your hands.

It sounds like you're doing well at offering her choices and a chance to do things for herself. You might already be doing this but the only thing I can think of to help a bit is to make it very clear when it's her last chance to do something, instead of asking/telling her a random number of times and then doing it yourself when you can't wait any longer. Maybe you could count before you step in and do things for her. So ask her a couple of times and then tell her "I'm going to count to 5 and if you haven't gotten out of bed/walked to the bathroom/picked your underwear then I will have to carry you/pick for you." Another option would be to only ever ask her a certain number of times (lets say 3). So you would ask her twice as normal and then say "This is your last chance. Please do xyz or I will do it for you." Then give her a few seconds to do whatever it is before stepping in.

 

Oh, spunky Miss Naomi .

Conner is really into the "I wanna do it myself" thing lately, which...like you said...is fine if we're not in a hurry. Lucky for me, if I TELL him we're in a hurry, he's usually ok with me doing things for him. I have had to do the countdown as pp mentioned. If you don't put your coat on by the time I count to 5, I'm going to do it...that type of stuff.

Aiden, however, will be dramatic about ANYTHING if he is woken up in the morning. OR if he's required to do anything but veg for the first 15-30 mins after waking up. So, bustling, busy mornings that are already hectic for me are ALWAYS worse when Aiden isn't fully awake. We started waking him earlier, which I hated to do, but it allowed him the 15 mins on the couch of 'wake up time'. Now that he's older, he's better, but still not great (this also occurs after naptime).

Hope your sleep issues get back on track soon so you can have more leisurely mornings (well, as leisurely as they can be with 2 two year olds!).

 

:hug: Sounds like a rough morning! I hope Miss Independent goes easy on you tomorrow!!

I have a Miss Independent as well. I would just reiterate what Twin Nanny said. I give her a chance to do it herself and if she is taking too long I say...last chance I am going to count to 3 if you haven't done XXX mommy will do it for you. Sometimes it prevents the tantrum and sometimes it doesn't, but at least (IMO) I have given a fair and final warning. ardon:

 

I do this too. I count to 5 and if they don't do it themselves then I do it. I find that if I warn them that I'm going to do it, they are less likely to throw an epic fit about it.

 

We are starting to hit this with Hailey. Not fun at all.

 

:hug: I can relate. Just this week I have started hearing "I do it myself Mommy" for everything and they take 50 times longer than it takes me. :headbang: I like the idea of giving them to the count of 5.

 

Yea - that's about the time that my little princesses decided they could do everything on their own...

I just had/have an understanding with my boss, so long as I'm in at a semi-decent hour (Mondays, I never make it before 8:30, every other morning I'm there by 8 and usually stay till 5) she doesn't bother me. Our days are supposed to be from 7:30-4:30, but If I try that, then we have melt-down city time 3 (all 3 of mine are age 3 and under) and it just makes us even later.

Me and DH usually make them dress themselves. We just nag and nag and nag until it's time to leave, but they eventually get it done. It's just easier for us to sound like broken records nagging at them, then to have a power struggle every morning.

Another thing that's happened here as of late is picking out their own clothes. I used to pick out like 3 outfits, that way they still had a *choice* of what to wear in the morning. Now though, if I pick something out, they automatically say no and have to pick something ELSE out of the closet, unless I'm on top of my sales game that morning and can pitch a good sale as to why the outfit *I* picked is the best choice for them that day!