military moms-

I know there are a handful of you in this group--- so I was wondering if y'all had any advice on how to prepare the boys for DH's deployment. THey'll be a few weeks short of their 3rd birthday when he leaves, so they're still pretty young, but old enough to notice Dad's gone. I've tried looking for books, and my counselor has advised we get a map and show them where we live and where Daddy will be working for awhile, but that's about all I've got so far. I'm really beginning to get nervous about how to handle this both myself and with them. What's your advice?

 

I'm getting ready to deploy myself in a few months, and the girls will be just over 3 and their brother just shy of 2.

I found a world map at the local teachers store that has all the countries named, including Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm going to put that in their playroom and do much what you said, put a tack where we live, then put a tack where I'm going with a string connecting the two. I might put a little face picture of me at the 'other' end so they really can make the connection.

I've also been singing to them every nigh the song from American Tail "Somewhere out there" so when I'm gone, each night when I skype them we can point up to the sky and 'wish on the same bright star'. I know corny, but it's something *I* want to do! I'm also taking a laptop that will have a worldwide broadband card in it so I don't have to wait in line to skype them everynight. Same with my cell phone so I can call whenver I want and vice-versa.

On past deployments, one of the guys I was with told his daughter (I think she was around 4 or 5) that he had to go up and fly in the big plane. Since their concept of time is still somewhat skewed, it worked. Until she saw a picture of him getting an on-the-spot promotion, then she had all sorts of questions as to why daddy wasn't in the plane anymore! I think I just plan on telling my trio that mommy has to go play in the great big sandbox (since that's what we call it anyways) and I'll be back before they know it.


At this age it's really tough becuase there's a lot that they still don't understand. It sounds like me and your hubby might be gone around the same time though. If you want any more advice, have any more questions, etc. feel free to PM me. I've been on both sides of the fence as my DH is active duty as well. Is your hubby AF, Army, Marines, Navy?? I'm guessing AF since you're in San Antonio..

-Raichael

 

I was just remembered too about Sesame Street helping with deployed families.. Go to SESAME STREET and they will send you a free packet with some DVD's, a book, etc. to help explain to young children about deployment.

Also, AMAZON has some books you can buy that's written to a young child's understanding. If you scroll down the page a little, there's some more titles, like "my mommy wears combat boots (I'm sure they have one for daddy's too)", "A paper hug" and "while you are away".

I'll post more as I find more, but that's a good start for now!

 

Raichael-

sending you a PM!

 

DH left in early Dec for 13 months in Afghanistan. My kids are 4 so a bit older. Prior to deployment, I talked to the kids a lot about DH being gone. DH got a recordable book for them for X-Mas and that has been a huge hit. Took DD a few times to realizes it was DH talking, but after a month, finally gets it. They understand DH is gone and can tell people he is in Afghanistan, but have no concept of time. We have a map and they talk to him every few days, but will still ask questions like will Daddy be home by ... The idea of being gone over a year is way beyond their concept. DH is Signal so has excellent access to all forms of communication, but the hardest thing is the time difference.

I like the idea of service member making a scrapbook or recordings especially for the child.

Best of luck!

Leslie et al.