MIL vent **kinda long**

I have a MIL from h*ll! This lady is a piece of work and I'm so tired of dealing with her. Theres times I wonder if I shouldn't of even married my DH. This lady screwed me out of my wedding and then threw her daughter a wedding and did everything I was planning for mine. When I was pregnant I was living about 5 hrs away from my family and my DH and I were talking about having two baby showers one with my family and one with his family. But his mother refused to throw me one saying she whouldn't know who to invite. My mother threw me a nice shower and she didn't even show up. I'd gotten over this stuff for the most part but today I recieved a baby shower invitation for my SIL to be, whos EDD just happens to be one day after the girl's EDD. And guess whos helping to put this shower on? You guessed it the MIL from h*ll!

I can take it when I'm getting the blunt end of it all, but when it starts to affect my girls then this means war. How can I sit back and let is lady show favorits. It breaks my heart that she couldn't celibrate my girls but she can celibrate her other grandchildren. I don't want then to grow up feeling like they aren't loved. I grew up that way and had grandparents that didn't like me and my brother and I don't want that for my girls.

What tics me off the most is that my DH won't do a thing about it. He got mad at me because once again I'm mad at his mom. He takes my side at times but he never does anything about it. He won't stand up to his mom, hes to much of a mamas boy.

I to the point where my MIL will be lucky if she ever sees my girls again. I don't want to put themin the position were they are going to feel rejected from someone who is suppost to love them no matter whos there mother.

I'm sorry this is so long. I was so mad I had to talk to someone, and my DH won't talk to me.

 

You are lucky...my MIL just died at the beginning of the month. I wish I had one.

Just remember this..my mom had to remind me frequently as my MIL treated my husband's daughter better than mine....she is his mom and always will be. Just imagine if he was nagging at you about your mom...it would hurt your feelings. Just feel sorry for her that she doesn't know any better. Plus, your marriage will suffer if you nag about his mom. Just be happy she doesn't live nextdoor to you and screws up all the time.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear and I am sorry you are having problems, but, since I have had problems with my MIL, I have learned to appreciate your MIL as you husband loves his mom just like your daughters will love you...unconditionally.

BTW: MY mom refused to throw ME...her daughter...a baby shower but threw one for my SIL. How would you like that one??? I just had to feel sorry for her.

 

Oh I sooo know where you are coming from. My MIL is the SAME way and the lady makes me nuts, she blames everything on me, like her not getting to see my kids because she chooses to not come see them...like I have the time to hold her hand to make sure she sees my kids We got into a huge fight and it just about ruined my marriage, dh doesnt say anything, he doesnt want to fight with them. She treats her other grandkids like gold but mine are not as good or important. I was treated the same way growing up too by one side of the family and I will NOT let it happen to my girls either. IF she cant grow up just ignore her, screen your calls so you dont have to talk to her and make plans when she wants to see them, it may seem mean but you have to be there for your kids and make sure they dont feel like outsiders.

 

My mil is this way. I told her that if she was going to be a b**** I wasn't going to expose my children to that kind of behavior(whether dh and I were together or not). She has came around and her attitude has greatly changed. She now keeps the girls about once a week.

 

Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry she is such a B*!@#! I don't have that problem so I don't have any advice. It just sucks for your girls. Hang in there and when addressing it with your hubby don't do it in an angry way. Use some reverse psychology. Just casually point out what she does and how unfair so he can get ticked about it too. He may feel like he needs to be defensive if you attack his mom. She IS in the wrong but he's got to figure that out on his own.

 

I know what you're going through, Joe has an older son that his parent's take at least once a week if not more and they didn't see the girl's for 3 months and that was because we had to take the girl's over there. Believe me one day when they come over they are going to get an earful from me. I don't care if they don't like me because I Hate Them, and I can honestly say that I HATE THEM!! I don't hate anybody but they pushed me over the edge, pretty soon they won't be aloud in my house or to call my house. What they're doing to the girl's is uncalled for and believe me they will hear about it next time I see them. They're LOSERS and that's all they'll ever be.

 

Thank you everybody. I was really having a bad day yesterday and then to get that invitation just pushed me over the edge. I'm going to keep my mouth shut for the time being, and see what happens on their first birthday. I have a feeling they might not even show up and if thats the case then all h*ll will break lose. And they will never see the girls again. Between my parents and my grand parents my girls will never lack in love, they both are very active in the girl's life. I thank God for that.

 

I can write a novel about my MIL but I won't go there. I try to be civil with her for DH & kids sake and have told myself that she's not that bad. Just hang in there

xox
Mariel

 

Soo sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. My MIL didn't come to our wedding and wanted nothing to do with us. Didn't talk to us for our first three years of marriage. That is until she found out I was pregnant. Of her six kids only one had kids and they are boys. She's a huge doll collector and wanted a grandaughter badly. Imagine her turn around when she found out I was having identical twin girls. Now the girls are all she talks about. I don't care for her at all but since she is DH's mom I am very civil and polite. Oh well, I hope I'm a good MIL someday.

 

Surround yourself, and the girls, with the people that love them. Seeking the attention of those who just don't want to give it hurts you in the end, not them.

 

I know how you feel. My MIL was like that. She passed away 2 years ago and now I actually miss her and wish she was around. She was his mother afterall and honestly no one supports him like she did, and now that she is gone I have noticed that is a huge gap in his family.

In the end, I guess I realize that I would rather put up with the bad stuff she pulled than not to have her at all.

Here's a