So my MIL decides to ask to take the boys to see her 16 year old daughters grandmother and her family yeasterday with less than one hours notice. I scrambled to get the boys ready but the only clean baby clothes were little onesies and baby gowns. They didn't match because one of the boys ALWAYS soils his clothes and has me changing outfits 2-3 times a day. Well she comes over to pick them up and starts making remarks about how its ridiculous that their cute outfits aren't clean and that I have no excuse to not have them clean. I need to do their laundry every day...yadda yadda yadda... well I reminded her that we were at their house for thanksgiving until 12am, to which she replies that I enough time to get them washed after that. I ended up walking out of the room because I was so freaking bugged. This is part of why I moved so far away from my own mom after I had my first son. I'm a grown mother who provides everything for my babies, they never go hungry are always changed and clean. So what if they aren't aways in cute matching outfits becuase I decide to take ONE DAY OFF from doing laundry. I shouldn't have to explain my actions regaurding my household cleaning habits to someone who wanted to borrow my boys for a couple hours without even giving me a few hours notice. I swear next time she pulls the crap taking about such things I'll tell her that I changed my mind and that the boys are staying with me and that SHE may leave. Nothing bugs me more than to have someone talk crap about how I take care of my children. Sorry this had to get out of me before my fiance would never hear the end of it. (He did say he'd talk to her about overseeing my parenting). This is after weeks of her saying that I need to call the dr over numerous reasons that she thinks my boys are sick and need medical attn...grrrrrr. /end rant
God how annoying! Why should you have to put with that crap!!? I would first do what you're doing - ask partner to tell her to shut up (in a nice way) - and then really if she ever said anything again I would ask her myself to shut up!!! In a nice way of course - have told my outlaws to not comment on what they think baby needs before - drives me mental!
QUOTE(gina_leigh @ Nov 29 2008, 06:07 PM) [snapback]1090073[/snapback] I'd tell if if the laundry was such a big deal to her then she could come and do it everyday. I agree! How rude of her. I must say if my MIL had given me less than an hour´s notice then I´d have laughed! Poor you, I hope things improve asap. :hug:
wow. like you have time to do laundry every single day with twinfants. just like gina said, tell HER to come and do the laundry every day if it's such a big deal to her.
Wow she was way out of line. I do hope you were able to put her in her place as respectfully as possible. You do not need to explain yourself to her as to why you didn't get laundry done. Your babies are happy and healthy and that is what matters, they have clean clothes just not the oh-so-cute ones. To the people who question anything I do or don't do, my response is always "walk a day in my shoes". No one really gets what it is like having multiples.
Wow, that was way over the top. I only do the kids wash once a week, some days the babies are in their pajamas all day. Good for you for walking out of the room, I don't know that I would have been able to keep my mouth shut!
My mom was like this. (My MIL only picks at me rarely thank god!) I found the comment that stopped her in her tracks was "I'd rather be holding them, and loving on them in non-matching outfits, than leaving them in a bouncy seat while I obsessed over laundy. They're only this little for awhile, and if I love on them enough, they'll just outgrow the dirty stuff, so it won't matter!" *grin* I've been known to be a **tch though.
I think you need to put your MIL in her place early or this is going to continue as your children get older and they are old enough to understand that someone is putting their mother down. It all comes down to respect, and she isn't giving it to you. Next time, say oh they don't have any clean matching outfits, so they can't come out with you today. You need to speak up for yourself with this lady. You dont' deserve any of that !!
I would have told her where to go when she gave me an hours notice to take them somewhere, I would not have let it go that far! You have a lot more paitence than I. Lots of people have NO clue what it is like having one baby to get ready let alone two!
Maybe next time, she can come a little early and bring her own clothes for them to wear. She can get them dressed and ready just as well as you can! (or by the sounds of it, she thinks she can do it better). Perhaps she would like to pay for some household help for you? ) If you can I would talk to her, if not get your hubby to do it FOR SURE!!! sorry that happened to you!
Thanks for the ideas on how to deal with her when she acts like this. I especially like the one where she brings her own clean matching outfits, lol. I just really can't stand people telling me how to be a mother and jumping on me about things that shouldn't concern them. I was 17 when I had my first son and always had someone looking over my shoulder so its a very touchy this for me even 5 years later. Its funny cause she was a young mother who went through the same so you'd think she'd back off. I will have a talk with her about this though before it gets worse and I explode!!
I would have told her to shut up, but then again Im a mouthy person who dont take it from anyone who critizes my parenting. I do keep 2 outfits in the bottom drawer for emergency get outta the door times. As for laundry, it will get done when it gets done. At our house thats usually about 1am. Tell her shes more than welcome to come over and spend time with the kids so you can do laundry. Your man defin needs to chat with her cause trust me if its like this now, it will prob. get worse.
That's rude of her! For similar reasons, my kids have never been left alone with my MIL except when I went on bedrest and she stayed with them a couple of days each week. I'd simply not allow her to keep my kids at all or even be allowed to be alone with them. If she's willing to undermind their mother, it leaves me wondering how much she respects them. I don't need that kind of "help".
Really, that's horrible!! Maybe if you talked to your DH and he could talk to her? I'd be afraid it will only get worse. Some people just need to be reminded that what they say is completely inappropriate (and mean!). And maybe next time she comes over have the laundry basket full of dirty laundry by the front door and say, "I know how much matching outfits mean to you - and I'm too busy taking care of babies to worry about if they are matching or not - so could you do the baby laundry for us for the next few months? Thanks so much!"
I am sorry! You didnt need that! I think I would have said "never mind, they wont be going with you today-sorry!". I like the pp comments about taking time to hold them rather then put them in bouncers to do laundry! I am so sorry she made you feel bad-dont let her do that anymore!!!!
they're your children, not hers. why should you scramble so she can take them out on a social visit? if you don't feel good about something simply say no. you teach people how to treat you. you're teaching her that you're willing to jump through hoops to satisfy her ego.
