MIl and SIL issues

I have had the twins' baptisms planned for 2 months now and my SIL and MIL are giving me a headache. They want SIL's 3 year old daughter baptized too along with the twins'. Apparently they have been planning this for about 9 months and "assumed" it was a done deal without even discussing it with me!! My DH knew about it and didn't say anything to me, he knew I wanted them to be baptized on their own. It is their day. Now both SIL and MIL are mad at us and trying to make us feel like we disappointed them!! Um, hello!!! SIL has had three years to get her daughter baptized!! The big day is next Sunday and I am dreading it. Should I reschedule it so it is at a time when they have cooled off. There is already so much tension, and I feel the day is going to be ruined.

 

I hate family get togethers. We have a lot of "issues" here too and they make me so uneasy. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. It's a shame that there is so much going on during a time of celebration. But, by postponing it what do you hope to accomplish? One for your kids only or more time to cool off so that everyone can be happy? Figure out what will make you happy and go with it. :hug:

 

No, keep it the same. I would want mine on their own too.

 

I would want them on their own too, its their day

 

First of all, Hugs to you! :hug:

It is so unfortunate that you feel a time of great joy and celebration may be overshadowed by family tension. I hope that you can keep the day as planned and still have a beautiful time enjoying the special blessings in your life!!! I would want my twins to have their day, too. It's too bad it was not discussed with you some time ago (about 2 months -at least - would have been nice), that way you could express your ideas. They may think that it would be even more special to have all three baptised together. However, you would like to have a certain day, special for your babies' baptism, and I'm sure you would be more than happy to celebrate a special day for your neice, as well. If you had been invited to discuss the ideas, you could have shared your thoughts a long time ago.

As for now, you have your date set. Go with it! Enjoy this special day for your babies. I would think that all family members would set aside any negative feelings (and hopefully overcome them for good) in light of the joyous occasion.

Be sure to share pictures of your babies on their baptism!

 

I agree with the pp - do whatever is going to make you happy and don't worry about your MIL and SIL.

 

My SIL had her baby about a month after I had the twins. She suggested to my husband, instead of me the mother of the babies, that we have a baptism for all the babies. I simply called and told her that she should have her own as it is her babies special day and he should have all the attention.

 

QUOTE(Mairoge @ Sep 29 2008, 02:03 PM) [snapback]1003129[/snapback]
My SIL had her baby about a month after I had the twins. She suggested to my husband, instead of me the mother of the babies, that we have a baptism for all the babies. I simply called and told her that she should have her own as it is her babies special day and he should have all the attention.



nicely done ! I like how you put your newphew first! (how could anyone have a problem with that?)

You are a good example!!

 

I am not religious so my girls are not having a baptism but, if they were, I would be angry at your SIL. Having a baptism means so much to some families and it really should be "their day" so I would tell them to forget about it or change the day (without telling them )

 

I would be extremely angry at my SIL if she did that. I don't think you should change their baptism date at all. Have it and have fun. Your SIL should have her 3 year old's baptism on another day.

 

Absolutely reschedule if it is the only way to have them baptized on their own. If you feel strongly about it you need to follow through, otherwise you will harbor resentment for this for a long time.

 

Reschedule it if it is the only way to have it just for your babies. That was inconsiderate of them for sure.

Heather

 

now the SIL and MIL have planned a baptism for next weekend for SIL's 3 year old. They are having a huge catered party, for which MIL is paying for. We did not get to have one for the twins because of financial reasons. SIL and MIL are not even talking to me, I don't even want to go...

 

so, you're saying that now, MIL/SIL have planned a baptism, and party for SILs child, on the same day your babies are scheduled to be baptized? Forcing folks in the family to make a choice?? Are they related to my mother and sister??

Baptisms aren't about big parties and gifts .. it's about an incredibly special time in the child's life. Sounds like your MIL and SIL are a bit off base.

 

:hug: How hurtful. Is this the same day you are having the twins baptised? If it is a different day could you maybe have your family or friends have some sort of small get together for the twins at your house?

One of my girl friends was in a situation where she could not afford a big catered party for her baby, and also as the mom on baptism day she wasn't going to have any time to make food herself for the party. Luckily, she had a couple of non-religious friends, like me. We went to her house during the baptism, instead of going to the church, and made a bunch of food and got her house ready for a party afterward. It was nothing fancy but it was nice.

Just an idea.