Middle Child syndrome?

I currently have twin girls that are 4 months old. I went thru IVF, so I have one embryo remaining that we want to use next year or so. Ideally making the kids 2 or 3 years apart. I was just curious--are there any moms/dads out there who have a set of twins and a singleton--and is there really a middle child issue? I can't see how there would be if either the two oldest or the two youngest were the exact same age. My husband comes from a family of three boys and even his middle brother said how much he hated being the middle of three kids. I guess I'm scared to have this issue! haha! Can anyone offer any advice?

 

Give your girls some time...personality will start to shine on through soon. I have a third on the way, and I already have a "middle child" so to speak. The difference in my twins personalities are already much less like an oldest and youngest and much more like and oldest and middle before this third one even arrives. I think as your girls get older you will see it is much more likely than you probably think it is now, even though TECHNICALLY you don't have a middle child. As long as you love them all as equally as possible and tend to their individual needs, b/c we all know each child needs different things from mom and dad, then you are going to be fine and so will your children.

I will be interested to see what others say that already have a third one in the house.

 

I am the middle child of 5 and I had more issues being the oldest girl and therefore the responsible one, than the middle child issues. In fact because of the big age gap between my siblings and I my sister who is between me and our youngest brother is somewhat the middle child and my older brother, between my oldest brother and me is a kind of middle child. Both had/have some issues. My mother's family has middle child issues with all members who are not first and last born...

I think with twins it is different because the middle child issues stem from not getting enough attention because you were not the first and cherished baby and the first to do everything, nor the last, mommy's little one. Twins get a ton of attention anyhow and therefore it is a completely different situation to me. My twins look nothing alike and still once people know they are twins they get a lot of attention (how come they are so different? is the bigger twin also the older twin?). With my two older boys we have a bit of a middle child situation, the son born between the oldest and the twins has mentioned that he isn't so special because his bog brother is smart and sporty and the twins are you know TWINS and he is just himself. We work against it by reinforcing how special he is, having one on ones with him and making him feel unique and loved. He is a very good child so far, we will see if our efforts really make him feel special enough that he won't have traumas later in life.
M.

 

There are 4 kids in my family two older then me amy twin, and she still does the older sister thing and im classed as the "baby" of the family still - you would think at almost 18 there wouldnt be that issue, but there is. I have the the thing of being the youngest - even though its 14minutes younger.
I do agree it has to do with personalities though.

I think my family were/ are strange though because instead of the oldest being able to go/do more things its really us that have been given the opportunities.


Woops I thought this was a different forum :blush: sorry lol

 

I agree with Millie, I wouldn't see it being an issue with twins and a singleton. I had a singleton, singleton and then the twins and we do feel a little bit of middle child syndrome with my second child. I was a middle child so I am super sensitive to it.

 

I have a 3 year old DD and we are expecting twins in February. I wondered the same thing. Technically there will not be a middle child so I am curious to see what kind of alliance or relationships form. My DH is the youngest of three and remembers times when his brother and sister were teenagers and he was in elementary school. He was kind of left out for a few yeas until his sister went to college and he and his brother were is HS together. I am from a two child family so my brother and I always got along well and didn't really have separation issues come up.

 

I feel I can offer an opinion as a middle child myself. I have 2 yo twins and am expecting another and didn't even pause to worry about this. I love being a middle child. I feel much closer to both my brother (younger) and sister (older) than they are to each other b/c there is a 5 year difference between them (this wouldn't be the case with twins and a singleton though). I never felt unloved, odd man out, unwanted ... etc ... I think I am much more independant than either of my sibs. I think that some of the "middle child syndrome" stuff is just personality types and the way you parent. My parents made us (and continue to make us) feel special in our own way and they have always let me know how loved I am and how much I have enriched their lives. I do feel like I have some of the qualities of a middle child ... such as I am a people pleaser and peace maker ... but really, are these bad traits? I think that your family dynamic will only be better with the addition of another child ... and just love each as they are and always celebrate each for what makes them who they are ...

 

No real advice but speaking AS A TWIN I always felt I was a 'middle' child, even though I was only 4 minutes younger than my sister. We were the first kids to my parents. I always felt younger. (more than 4 minutes) I really didn't have an issue with it and we enjoyed our younger brothers were were much younger than us. I have a set and a younger toddler and so far, no issues. I can't see that there would be because they are the same age.

 

I had my twins last - I have 3. There's no middle child syndrome in my home yet!