Meltdowns after daycare

I work in the office 3 days a week and on these days the children go to a great daycare for about 7-8 hours. I realize that this is a long day for them, even with a nap. When I pick them up after snack-time around 4 pm we have to walk about 15 minutes to my office to get the car (some days I take the stroller, some days they walk), then drive home for about 30 minutes, sometimes stopping for bread, milk or diapers along the way. That hour to go home is full of crying, meltdowns, tantrums. Just about anything will set at least one of them off - who gets to sit where in the stroller, who gets to hold which hand if we are walking, who gets to sit in which seat in the car (they take turns choosing and i always annouce before whose turn it is to chose), protest against getting into the car in the first place or against being strapped into the car seat, getting on their winter jackets in daycare or taking them off for the car ride, the music we play in the car etc.

I know they are overstimulated and tired after daycare and that they feel safe enough with me to let go of all the stress of the day(the mom curse for tantrums). But there is so little I can do to help them (I mean - we all need to get home safely) and we are all miserable, not really what I want for us after a day apart. It gets better once we are home, still diffficult but better.

I would love any tips for making the trip home easier. TIA.

 

Snacks and drinks. I find that when I pick up my two from preschool on any given day, they are hungry. So I usually have a snack or at least a juice box ready for them.

 

I was thinking food too. I can imagine its a frustrating start to your evening. :hug:

 

Agree with some sort of snack or even some milk. If that doesn't work then maybe talking to them in the morning or night before what errands you need to run and who is going to sit where. Maybe setting some expectations will help them cope with the pick up routine.

 

I would try a test for one week with a stroller only walk back with no stops on the way home, and see if that makes a difference. My DD's go to pre-school twice a week and those days they are not only grumpy but like to test out every bad thing they learned that day on me! So I pick them up, water or snack in car, no radio, and as soon as we get home I have them take off their shoes and "go rest" or play quietly. As you mentioned they are over stimulated from school, but a 15 minute walk plus some shopping too...that would be too much for me. I also tend to put them to bed earlier too on school days.

 

Mine attend preschool 3 days a week while I work.
-Snacks are a definite for us.
-We do not run any errands after I pick them up. It is expecting too much for them to keep it together in a store.
-Can you skip the walk and drive over to get them? They are already tired and crabby so the walk and then another transition into the car could be overstressing them. If not I would definitely stay consistent for how you walk them to the car. I would personally pick letting them walk but that is because mine are very active and transitioning from being strapped in a stroller to strapped in a carseat doesn’t go over well when they are tired. To get them to walk if it is safe to do so have them jump until they get bored with it, walk backwards holding your hand this may distract them over arguing, make little games to keep them moving and distracted plus they get more of your attention that way.
- I tell them that they will have their snack when they are seated and buckled in safely. That usually helps get them to settle down
-Mine love the fisher price 2 CD collection of 50 hits. I think it is the anniversary edition. This helps with the car ride. I also point out anything interesting on the road home. Big trucks, buses, fire trucks, police cars, bridge. Anything to distract them.
-At home I take them inside and we spend about 15 minutes reading books or playing together on the floor. They really just need the time to reconnect. You might come up with an activity you do as soon as you get home to allow everyone to reconnect. If I immediately start fixing dinner etc. they end up having meltdowns or misbehaving to get my attention. If I give them positive attention as soon as I come home they do much better.

 

Thank you for your ideas! We already do snacks on the way to the car - I am terrified of choking while driving and one of mine is prone to choking, so no snacks or sippies in the car although that would probably make the drive much easier. There is no parking at the daycare so driving there to pick them up and to eliminate one transition is unfortunately not an option. I will try letting them walk consistently to see if it makes things easier. I will also try to make the trip home even more of a set routine and eliminate the shopping as best I can.