Mealtime Maddness.

Our guys are 14months...and mealtime is getting so painful for us. We try to give finger foods if possible all the time, but there are a few things that just need silverware. We let them try first with a spoon or fork, but then when they start to throw things, they are taken away. We then feed them, and they swat our hands away, splattering food everywhere. We pause, tell them NO and try again. If we give them sippys, they just shake them upside down until it makes a mess and they are soaked. It doesn't seem to matter what they are fed, whether they like it or not, or what kind of mood they are in...every mealtime has been like this lately. Any insight? It is getting exhausting.

 

It feels as you are describing my babies , they will be 13 months next week. Honestly, we are trying to feed them as much as possible, I would rather take 10 minutes to feed them as opposed to 30 minutes to clean the floor and the chairs and change their clothes... They eat cheerios, fruit, pretzels, and toast and cheese - although that is messy too. Other than that we spoon feed them. When they start pushing our hands and acting up, I just say, ok, you are done, and wheel them to the sink, wash their faces and hands and take them out of the high chairs. I am trying to keep mealtime as boring as possible, we are not playing with them while eating, not talking to them, not smiling at them. The minute they find a distraction it seems that they lose interest in eating. Also it's better when only one person is feeding them, as oposed to 2 people, they get distracted easier if there are 2 adults around. When we have our meals, we put them in their highchairs and they get a snack - cheerios or a taste of what we are eating, but they eat before us, it's easier and faster like that for now.

 

That sounds pretty typical. My kiddos are not great with utensils yet, so we still end up feeding them some things. I've found a couple of strategies that help, though. I always give them a fork and spoon and let them try to help feed themselves whatever it is, and in between, I give them bites. This works well for things like applesauce, yogurt, etc. so that none of us get overly frustrated with it taking too long, etc. The other thing I do with some meals will be to give them some of whatever it is to pick up, and be feeding them bites, too. For example, if they are having hots dogs and corn, I will put some on their tray and let them self-feed, but I am giving them bites in between of the corn, which is harder to pick up. Yes, it is more involved for me, but it keeps me and them from getting stressed, while also giving them the chance to learn. They have gotten decent with a fork for bigger things like meat, but still use fingers mostly by choice. The spoons we are still working on because they almost always dump whatever is on there. I figure they'll get there eventually as long as I keep letting them try.

 

My older girls are now 19 months and only JUST getting the hang of a spoon, and not really that great at it yet. We don't even offer forks yet. Most of the stuff we give them they eat with their fingers. DD1 only just got some teeth, but now that they both have front teeth and a few molars, they can bite and chew a bit better.

A lot of times we will give them the spoon food (applesauce, yogurt, etc) with a spoon for them, and a spoon for us to put the food in their mouths while they are playing with their own. I don't know if it is the distraction or what, but it works for both of them. We also find it helps to keep the foods (again, yogurts etc) in their original containers. For some reason they like that better than a small bowl with food in it.

 

PS - we just schedule 30 minutes minimum for mealtimes too. Trying to feed them in less time does not work for us. In the AM it is their "special time" with Daddy, and in the evenings it is family time. We try to eat at the same time, although some nights it just doesn't work.

 

Honestly, I would just give up feeding them yourself at least most of the time. I rarely ever spoon feed mine. I always give them something that they can eat themselves. Toddlers love feeding themselves and it is a good learning thing for them. I steam fresh veggies twice a week (broccoli, carrots, beans, zucchini)- I warm that up for them as well as have some sort of meat in the fridge...grilled chicken, ham, pork roast, or whatever. If we are eating something that they would have to be fed by me, I warm up the already made veggie and meat and that is what they get. they will also get a slice of fruit or something. it is true there will be a bigger mess, but it doesn't take long to wipe everything onto the floor and sweep it up especially foods like I mentioned. Pretty easy clean up really and there is no stress into them not eating or pushing away. I let them pick at whatever I put on their tray and when they seem finished, I get them out. I don't stress over how much they did or didn't eat.

Hopefully you can work something out where you all enjoy your mealtime!

 

Feeding time is a huge bother in my house! My guys aren't spoon fed by us anymore, they just refuse to eat. I say it all the time to my friends "If I didn't have to feed my kids, my life would be so much easier".

In your case, I would stop spood feeding them and make them learn. They won't go hungry! They will figure it out! Spoon feed when needed, but I would let them work it out.