May 23, 2009

Hi there,
This will be quick since everything is hectic right now... My babies were finally born - not on the 22nd as planned. The hospital called to say that they couldn't induce 'cuz they were booked. So, I had to wait until the 23rd. It was a sign I think from my late father to have the twins on his birthday... so the 23rd it was!!!

I won't go into all of the details since I don't have the time. I only dilated to a 4 after 14 hours of labor so I had to go by c section. That was horrible. Even with the epidural I felt a "BURNING' sensation across my stomach below my breasts. I started crying & I guess squeezed the life out of my husbands hand. They gave me 8 more shots of something before the pain went away... I guess Michael was so far up & under my ribs that the doctors had one heck of a time to get him out.

Victoria was born 10:48 PM, 6 lbs, and 17 1/2 long
Michael was born 10:51 PM, 6.7 lbs. and 18 inches long

He had low blood sugar and spent a few days in NICU. But all is well. I had a horrible time in the hospital will kidney problems & healing from the c, but things are getting better.

I don't know if I'm cut out being a mom of twins. I have been crying every day a ton of times, can't sleep, can't eat. My husband & MIL are my life savers right now. I haven't even dealt with the twins on my own yet except for an hour... I just want to run away... I have so much anxiety. I see the doctor for my post partum appt tomorrow... hopefully, he can help me out.. I don't kwow why I ever wanted kids... even though I love these two with all my heart.
I can't get a grip right now on my emotions. I am hoping that it gets better.

That's about it.

 

Congrats! I had a hard time in the beginning also. It's good you are going to your doc. I too had PPD and the meds worked. I now can''t imagine life without them and I am dreading going back to work. I now do it all alone, and in the beginning I felt exactly as you described. It will get better. :hug:

 

Welcome Victoria and Michael from a fellow Michigan twin mom!! And congratulations to you!

What you're feeling is so normal; it's such an emotional upheaval to have 1 child, and having 2 sometimes feels out of control! Add in the lack of sleep, recovery from MAJOR SURGERY, NICU, fluctuating hormones, etc. and things seem overwhelming. I cried almost every day in the first few weeks.

Definitely talk to your doc about your feelings, and please lean on your support system. This is a challenging time and you need all the help you can get.

Keep in mind that it will get better! It's hard to see that when you're in the thick of it, these hard times will pass I promise!!

 

congrats on the arrival of your LOs!

:hug: it's such a tough time in those first weeks & months - that's great that you'll be chatting with your doc. let them know how you're feeling & they'll definitely be able to help. :hug:

 

I cried a lot the month the boys were in the NICU but only when I couldn't get them to stop crying when they were home. It was like their crying was contagious. I would tell the doctor the feelings you are having as it sounds like PPD (though I am by far an expert). The first 3 months were a complete survival time for me. I napped when they napped or even when just one napped and my mom watched the other. I was used to 12 hrs of sleep and went to 5 (maybe 2hrs at a time if I was lucky). It WILL get better! Hang in there!

 

Congrats! :yahoo: :yahoo: :youcandoit: :yahoo: :yahoo:

It is tough anytime you get in a new situation you will pull through it and do great!! Enjoy your babes!

 

Congrats to you and your babies (nice healthy weights!!)!!! It's rough in the beginning and your emotions will be all over the place - your body is surging with hormones right now. It's good that you are meeting with your doctor. Twinstuff is an excellent source of encouragement, advice, and entertainment (heh!)... I've really benefited from it a lot! Get lots of rest, soak up all the help and support you can get and enjoy your babies, it really does fly by. I can't believe mine are already 6.5 months, seems like I just had them!

 

Congratulations on the birth of your twins! :Clap:

I also cried a lot when my LOs were born. It´s totally normal and to be expected as you have a load of hormones in you right now. Mention how you are feeling to your doctor though. Please know it does get easier. I thought there wasn´t a light at the end of the tunnel in those first few months, but it does fly by and before you know it they will be one! Hang in there, you´re a great mum and you can do this! :grouphug:

 

Congratulations on your new babies. I am new at twin mothering too so I don't have any advice.
I hope you feel better soon and I'm glad you have your DH and MiL to support you.

 

Congratulations on the birth of your babies!

Reading your post brought back so many emotions for me. I was EXACTLY where you were only 10 short months ago. I was terrified to be left alone with the twins and wondered if I had made a big mistake getting pregnant in the first place since I hated my life. I was diagnosed with PPD and started on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication and it made a huge difference for me. It sounds to me like you are dealing with PPD as well (which is very common among moms with multiples) so please please share everything with your doctor tomorrow about how you are feeling so you can get the help you need. ((((HUGS))))

It will get better, I can promise you that.

 

QUOTE(tmh @ Jun 10 2009, 03:49 PM) [snapback]1349036[/snapback]
I don't know if I'm cut out being a mom of twins. I have been crying every day a ton of times, can't sleep, can't eat. My husband & MIL are my life savers right now. I haven't even dealt with the twins on my own yet except for an hour... I just want to run away... I have so much anxiety. I see the doctor for my post partum appt tomorrow... hopefully, he can help me out.. I don't kwow why I ever wanted kids... even though I love these two with all my heart.
I can't get a grip right now on my emotions. I am hoping that it gets better.


I will get better. Its great that you are being proactive and seeing your Dr. I cried a ton too. :hug:

:welcome: to the world Michael and Victoria

 

Congratulations! It sounds like you may be experiencing PPD, so I am glad you are seeing your doctor tomorrow. It's very common, and very treatable. I'm glad you have a good support system around you. :hug:

 

First off Congratulations! :clapping:

And secondly, try not to think about if you're cut out to be a mom of twins. It is hard work and you'll figure it out with time. It's hectic for any mom with twins [even new mothers]. It's a good thing that you got a hold of your doctor. I hope everything works out good and you're able to find some relief soon.

We're here if you ever need to vent

 

I think we have all been there. I felt the same way you do now. I had a bad experience with my c-section and had major anxiety afterwards. I cried all the time and had 1 major meltdown every day for the first couple weeks. I had a horrible recovery from my c-section and wasn't sleeping or eating much either. My husband and mom basically took care of the girls for me in the beginning. I was nursing, which only made things worse. That was the only time I spent with them and I felt soooo guilty. I stopped nursing after 6 weeks, which made me have even more guilt. It took me 10 weeks to heal from the c-section. I had lots of complications with that and my blood pressure was really high. I finally went and saw a therapist because I wasn't coming out of my funk. I don't think it was depression, but more anxiety. I got on meds and started talking to my therapist, which really helped. I had a lot of issues about not being a good mom, etc. I'm sure it was totally normal, but I felt like I was the only one that ever felt that way. I was miserable and not enjoying any of it. I think it was around 4 months that everything started getting better physically and mentally. I promise you it does get better. Just hang in there and let people help you. I don't know what I would have done without my husband and mom. I look back now and it's all a blur. I'm having such a blast now with them. I remember reading other people's posts that would say the same thing about how much fun they were having. I never thought I'd ever get there, but I have. Come here often to vent and ask for advice. I don't know what I would have done without TS!!!

 

Tristin,

I am so glad you found the site. I don't know how long you have been posting here or if it was after I mentioned it on the LCHS reunion message. Twinstuff helped us get through the tough first year.

The first few weeks are extremely tough. You are running on no sleep and lots of adrenaline, plus I questioned whether we were doing everything right. I was not very pleasant to be around. It takes awhile to get into the groove.

I know you can get through this. You were strong in school and have survived a lot in your life. I believe God blessed us with twins because he knew we could handle it. Do my DH and I yell/bicker with each other from time to time from stress, yes, but we get past it.

If you need to talk email me and I will give you my phone numbers. My best advice is take all the help you can in the beginning because the closer you get to the twins being one year old the help seems to disappear.

Talk to you later.

Kristin (from middle school and high school)

 

:banana: :banana: Congratulations on your twins!! :banana: :banana:

As everyone else has said before me.....you'll get through it. It's wonderful you have the help of you husband and mother-in-law. My Mother has been with us since before the birth and I am so grateful for her help. She will soon be leaving for home and we'll miss her help, but I know I can manage alone. You'll get there!!

 

:welcome: and CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Sorry you are feeling so bad right now, i hope you get back to your old self soon jus give yourself time and don't worry about relying on help from your loved one's thats what they are there for. Rest up while you can XXX

 

Congrats x

 

Congrats to you you and the little ones.

 

Try to remember when things get hectic that this time is going to go by so fast and things will get easier. The year will be somewhat of a blur so try to enjoy this precious time. You are going to do a great job! Look how much you have done already!

 

Congratulations! Those first few weeks are difficult and your hormones are all over the place. When my twins were first born, I felt woefully inadequate to be their mother but as time went on, I found my groove and I'm still standing. I think it is great that you are going to talk to your OB about PPD. Hang in there!

 

Congratulations on having twins!!! If the crying and sadness persists, make sure to let your OB know :hug:.

 

Thanks to everyone for their words & support!!! Today is the first day without any help. It's going ok. I would like to hop in the shower, but I'll wait until my hubby gets home! Victoria has been crying all day so far! She drops her paci and can't deal with it! Now, the dog just woke up Michael... nice! Oh well! At least the meds from the doctor have been helping me get thru things. I see the doc in 3 weeks again to hopefully wean off of them... we'll see how it goes.

 

You are doing amazing to be by yourself with them so fast!! It took me a few weeks.. then when I finally did it I realized it wasn't so bad and I felt alot better. Same thing with getting out with them-- took me a long time to do that on my own. Anyways I just read your original post and I got really teary eyed because it reminded me so much how I felt just 10 and a half months ago!! It was a huge and hard adjustment... it it gets a lot better.. and even enjoyable Honestly they are a huge blessing.