mattress in their room or bring them in my bed?

For those of you with DH's who aren't home at night on a regular basis: I want to sleep in the room with the girls. My house is a split floor plan with the master bedroom on one end of the house and the other bedrooms are on the other end. My bed is in the middle of the room, so that's one reason why I might not want to bring them in my bed. And this weekend when I told my mom about wanting to sleep in the room with them she said that at this age bringing them in my bed is a horrible idea b/c they won't understand the difference when DH is home so it's not a habit I should start. She suggested putting a mattress on the floor in their room if I want to sleep with them. I'm not against this idea other than it will be more work for me putting the mattress in there and moving it the next day.

So, does anyone sleep with their LO's when their DH is away? What do you suggest?

 

I don't have the situation of the bedrooms being separated... our bedrooms are clustered together. But my dh does travel for work sometimes and I don't sleep w/the babies. I enjoy my sleep, and I do believe that the kids wouldn't understand why sometimes they sleep w/you and sometimes not... but that's just my opinion. Ours (for the most part) sttn and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that by interupting their sleep habits... good luck w/your decision.

 

I agree with Maybell. Is there a reason you need to sleep with them other than the fact that their room is in a different part of the house? If that's the issue can you use a baby monitor? I would think even having a mattress in the room would confuse them because when your DH comes home, they are still going to expect you to sleep in their room.

Except for when they were newborns, I have never slept with my boys.

 

I agree with the prior posts. But if it will make things easier for you I vote for bringing your bed into their room. Your mom is completely right, that is not a habit you want to start because breaking it at this age is a nightmare from what my friends have told me of their experiences. GL

 

When our kids were sick, I remember telling the pedi that I slept with them on the floor in their room/the living room. She said that was MUCH better than bringing them back to bed with us.
She said its easier for kids to sleep somewhere where no one normally.routinely sleeps than inviting them to a bed thats going to always be there and tell them they cant be in it. Does that make sense?

once you're ready to stop sleeping in there, you can just remove the mattress and POOF! the bed that you 3 used to share is no longer there so you'll go back to yours and them to theirs

 

I have no answers for you but only to tell you that this is a HARD habit to break. And like a pp said, they won't get that some nights you want them in your room and then when daddy is home they can't sleep with you. My kids have never come into our bed and a few months ago it was raining hard and my son was scared and instead of my usual cuddle and put back down I made the decision to bring him into bed with us. :gah: Now if it's raining just a little he is in bed with us, and it's been a rainy summer. <_< Neither of us get the sleep we would if he were in his bed and I can't seem to get him to stay in bed now.

 

My DH works the midnight shift, so 5 nights a week he is gone. In our home, our bedrooms are clustered together and they have their own rooms. I do agree with previous posts, I think it would be a hard habit to break either way. They'll get used to either sleeping with you or having you in their room. It's possible when your DH is home, they are not going to understand why you are not there and want you then. Just something to think about. If you still decide to change it up, my vote would go to putting a mattress in their room. Good luck with your decision.

 

My husband has worked either afternoons or midnights since the boys were about 6 months old. They have always just stayed in their own room. The few times I have brought one or the other of them into our bed it has always created a longer range issue. I know the feeling of wanting to sleep with them, I went through it too and there are still nights I have to force myself to NOT go in and get them to sleep with. It's hard to sleep alone all the time, but it has been totally worth it in respect to their sleep. They sleep better and I sleep better. They are happier in the morning therefore I am happier in the morning.

If you do anything, I vote for having a matress in their room. Like pp have said, bringing them into your bed will just confuse them when DH is home. If your kids are used to a routine where they sleep in their own beds/cribs at night, keep it that way even when DH is gone. It's hard enough to get kids used to a parent not being around all the time without messing with their sleep habits too.

 

I agree with PP on using a monitor instead of sleeping with them [unless there's a reason that you need to sleep in the same room with them].

 

We have a split entry house and the master bedroom is upstairs and the other two bedrooms are downstairs. I have been 'seperated' from my kids from about 8 weeks on because of this. On the occasions that we have spent nights in my parents cabin where we are all in the same room, the sleep is not the same. They are sure noisy sleepers and I have heard that I snore too! Monitor is a great idea if you don't have one already. I agree in not bringing them to your bed, but hesitate to say that the mattress is a good idea. Do they sleep just fine when dh isn't there or is it you who likes company at night?

 

If the reason is that your bedroom is too far away from theirs, is there a spare bedroom right next to their room that maybe you could sleep in when your dh is gone? This way you are closer and could get to them faster, but not have to worry about them feeling like they need you right next to them.

 

I was going to make the same suggestion as Bridgett. Can you sleep in a room next to theirs when DH is away? You'd hear them and feel better about them being closer to you, but they wouldn't know the difference. Mine have not ever been great sleepers but finally started sttn at 15 mos, in May. We spent lots of time at my parents house this summer on vacation and all slept in one room. When one would wake and know I was there, that was it for the night...lots of midnight screaming, crying, me trying to keep them quiet and settle them back down. It was not fun. When the house was empty enough that they had their own room, it made all the difference. Since we've been home and they are back in their own room, they are back to sttn. My feeling is don't mess with babies who sleep well if you can help it!!

 

Can you perhaps put your mattress in the hallway outside their room if you are concerned about hearing them, or use a monitor as pp suggested. I would not suggest sleeping where they can see you (your room or theirs), because I am guessing they will come to expect that you are right next to them everytime they wake up, and may come to rely on you to get back to sleep. My sister did this (her dh travelled a lot for work) so she used to sleep in her DS's room, and well, he is now 5 and he is JUST starting to sttn without her. I think had she known that it would take her years to correct that habit, she never would have started it. But, all kids are different, and you need to make the decision that works best for your family. My 2 cents is, if they are sttn with no issues right now, then do everything in your power to not sleep next to them as it may be a hard habit to break...good luck : )