Marriage Counseling

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by jnholman, Feb 19, 2010.

  1. jnholman

    jnholman Well-Known Member

    This has been a rough 10 months. DH and I have grown so far apart...after everything coming to a head and me banging my head in the wall because he was not listening, DH suggested that we get some counseling. Our appointment is on Tuesday.

    I glad that we are going to get some help, but I have a feeling this is going to be painful in the beginning.

    Anyways, for you ladies having a hard time...just wanted to give us all a hug and hopeful for the future.

    Jenn
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. becky5

    becky5 Guest

    :grouphug: Good for you for facing your issues head on. I know how tough it is. Best of luck to you all. :hug:
     
  3. Kateryna

    Kateryna Well-Known Member

    Thank you and best of luck!

    It's so hard relationship wise. We have been together for 10 years and married for 4 and it's crazy how having babies can put you on different planets. Ugh...
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    What she said! :hug:
     
  5. MLH

    MLH Well-Known Member

    I can say that since having the twins, we've grown apart b/c it's just so hard and we're so busy. We didn't have that problem when it was just us or even our older DD, but life is just busy and chaotic and it doesn't leave much time for "us". Sounds like you're both committed to making improvements. Good luck to you both and good for you for seeking the help.
     
  6. Callen

    Callen Well-Known Member

    Best of luck to you.

    Becoming parents is so utterly life changing.

    I hope you are able to hold on through the rough times and find again the good.
     
  7. 4lilmonkeys

    4lilmonkeys Well-Known Member

    The first year is so difficult and I remember how hard it was for both DH and I to find time to talk, let alone have any quality time together. It may be a tough road in the beginning, but your family will be so much better for it in the end. Best of luck to you both. :hug:
     
  8. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    Hang in there, Jenn :hug:
     
  9. WaterGuzzler

    WaterGuzzler Well-Known Member

    That's great news! I say that with enthusiasm because it sounds like you want to work things out, and it really sounds like your DH does, too, considering he was the one who mentioned counseling. My DH and I had such a difficult time adjusting to the birth of our firstborn--I can't imagine how much harder it would have been adding a little carbon copy baby.

    When DS was approximately a year old DH and I had a very "hurtful" but heart-to-heart conversation. It was after that that we finally started to readjust things to make them work. Everything improved after that--enough so that we have added 3 more children to the mix ;)

    GL to you. I pray that things work out for your family. :hug:
     
  10. ECUBitzy

    ECUBitzy Well-Known Member

    My husband and I went to counseling a few months before we got pregnant. It was a great decision. Good for both of you for being willing to try! It's a tough, frustrating road, but it is so worth it. There will be a moment in time where you better understand how to fix and prevent the distance that can come between you. That moment is priceless!

    All the best to you both!
     
  11. lianyla

    lianyla Well-Known Member

    Good for you! This has not been easy on us, either. Anyone who says it has been ,is lying.

    We're still not out out the woods at 28 months, either.

    Just take it step by step and remember- everyone goes thru it.

    Good job for getting help :)
     
  12. Brizzy_Twins

    Brizzy_Twins Well-Known Member

    Good Luck and hang in there :hug: thinking of you.
     
  13. DATJMom

    DATJMom Well-Known Member

    Best of luck Jenn. Having kids is very hard on a marriage.
     
  14. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :youcandoit: Way to go for taking charge of your problems and getting help. That is awesome. DH and I also did some marital counseling when our twins were in the first year. It helped.
     
  15. timba09

    timba09 Well-Known Member

    Glad you're seeking help through counseling. The changes DH & I have experienced in the last nine months have been like nothing we've gone through in 16+ years. It's craziness. I sincerely hope you and your husband find common ground again.
     
  16. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :Clap: for addressing smaller problems before they become insurmountable. It's SO hard to have twinfants. I've recently made things much nicer in our house by asking him "What would be the best thing I can do for you today?" The best part is he's starting to reciprocate & we are much happier individuals.
     
  17. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Good luck! I hope the counseling helps. :hug:
     
  18. jbritt325

    jbritt325 Well-Known Member

    Good luck to you and your husband Jenn. I wish you only the best! Hang in there! The fact that you both are willing to work and fix it means a whole lot! :youcandoit: :hug:


    And no, it ain't easy at all!! Most days it feels like I'm failing miserably.
     
  19. atinar

    atinar Well-Known Member

    :hug: I know what you're going through. With two wonderful baby boys to care care of, it's soooooo hard for DH and I to have quality time together. However, love and care for each others still exist in our hearts. We've had our boys after 10 years of marriage. So for the moment our babies come first. However, I am sure things will get better in the 2nd year when the kids will be able to walk, be more independent,...anyway I hope so.

    I :clapping: applaud your husband's idea for getting some counselling, and wish you all the best for both of you. What matters I think is that deep down the candle of love still shines in the hearts. As long as this candle still shines, couples overcome all the odds. May God bless you. :hug:
     
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