mad as he! and need to vent

OK, so my BIL & SIL had their son 5 weeks before I had my girls. SIL and I have always been very friendly and I thought we all got along. Before we got pregnant we (DH, myself an the two of them) would vacation together and go out to dinner regularly. Well, they got pregnant first and then we were a couple months later. Of course, expecting twins was a total surprise for us and seemed to overshadow their singleton. I tried my best to always include her in the pregnancy talk and thought it was something over which we could commisserate. During my 8 weeks in the hospital, they were completing their "prepared childbirth' classes and would come to see me when they were there. I thought things were back to normal and it was great getting to be down the hall from her when she had my nephew. They were very excited and came to our house to welcome home each of the girls when they were discharged from the NICU.

Fast forward to the last couple months and things are smelling fishy again. We live less than 4 miles apart; her family lives 5 hours away and they have seen them 5 times as much as we have. I invite them over all the time. My DH and BIL's dad is coming to our house for dinner tomorrow night (which is very rare that he comes to see them) and they gave us some BS excuse about SIL going somewhere but "could he stop by their house on the way home?" I just don't get it. I have a clean, nice house and have never been anything but nice to both of them. They have no interest in being a part of our family and it really ticks me off.

Sorry, long vent, but I'm just over it.
:grr: :BDH: :grr:

ETA: I meant, mad as he!!, grrr!

 

One word - Jealousy.

 

How frustrating! I agree, its probably jealousy. That sucks! Hopefully she will get over it eventually...

 

How dare you steal her thunder!??

No advice, but I'm thinking she's jealous too.

 

I have a SIL like that. No one knew that we were trying to get pregnant for 7 years. My SIL got pregnant (a supposed oops) while changing bc methods. We already had the 'big IVF' initial meeting scheduled two weeks after we found out they were pregnant. We got pregnant on that first cycle in November. So, there was a 5 month difference between due dates. She was miserable her entire pregnancy... morning sickness etc. I had a great twins pregnancy. Fast forward, they actively tried to get pregnant early in 2007. It took them 4-5 months of trying until it was achieved. She told my other SIL (married to my other brother) "At least I am the only one pregnant this time." Well, I announced in August that I was pregnant (totally not trying, but not preventing due to the 7 years of infertility).
I agree.. jealous.. you stole the show. or maybe you are handling the kids better... it could be a lot of things and I would try not to worry about it. :hug:

 

I have to agree with the jealousy. I was also thinking that maybe she has PPD and doesn't want you to find out. Plus I'm sure that everyone compares what your twins are doing to what her child is doing. Maybe your girls are more advanced and it rubs her the wrong way. Either way, I'm sorry that you have to go through that. :hug:

 

I also have to agree with all the other posters, it definitely sounds like jealously. I hope she gets over it very soon. I'm very sorry that you have to go through this :grouphug:

 

Wow, totally sounds like she envies you. I don't understand why she wouldn't want to enjoy this special moment especially with someone in her family. Hopefully she'll get over it soon so things can go back to normal :hug:

 

I guess "jealousy" is such the simple explination that I over-looked it. They have a great life and their son is progressing remarkably. He's 5 mos old wearing 12 mos clothing, rolling over, repeating words and probably flying remote control planes by now The only way I hear about him is from my MIL who keeps him for free every day. Oh yeah, that's a sore spot too as we pay $250 a week for our nanny.

Anyhow, I guess she is jealous. I talked with DH about it last night and turns out he fees the same way. He usually blows things off and I take it to heart, so I thought maybe I was over-reacting, but I guess not.

It sucks, but maybe it will get better. Thanks ladies! :hug:

 

she's jealous. my cousin was jealous and she wasn't even pregnant. when i told her i was preggers she told me i was an idiot. she was mad because when she was pregnant, our family told her to get an abortion. when i got pregnant, they threw me a massive shower with 120 people in attendance.
she didnt realise that my "baby's daddy" is a responsible man with a job who takes care of me, while hers was a douche bag who beat her and stole from her and was in and out of jail as well as a gangbanger.
she was always the shining star in the family and i was the black sheep. funny how this works out eh?