Lurker from the 2nd year - questions about childcare for you all!

HI there!

I'm a lurker from the 2nd year forum. Our girls just turned 1 in October. I have a question for you all who have kids that are a little bit older and starting preschool/pre-K about childcare.

Our girls are currently cared for at home by a full-time sitter. She's been great and it's been WONDERFUL since the girls have stayed so healthy in their first year. In contrast, our older son was in daycare from 5 months on and his first year was HORRIBLE as far as ear infections, RSV, bronchitis - you name it! In fact, his experience was one of the deciding factors on us choosing a nanny in lieu of daycare for the girls.

Now that they are a little bit older and stronger, we've been reconsidering the daycare option. Where I work (at a museum) has a great daycare program, and I think that now that the girls are older, they really could benefit from some of the great and unique things that the daycare program offers. It is run on a school-year calendar, with classes all "graduating" and moving up in September. Because of that, there is no rolling admission and no waiting list. It's all done on lottery, and since we passed up two spots in the infant class this year, it will be very difficult for us to even get in now since there are only a handful of spots available for the toddler year since most are already filled by "graduating" infants. We probably have one more shot to make it in before the class is filled and it will be impossible to even think about getting two spots.

So, I'm torn. On one hand, we love having the security that a nanny offers - we don't have to worry about how to handle it when the kids are sick, she's really super with them, and the social thing isn't as much of an issue because they have each other.

On the other hand, I kind of want them to "get out there", be around OTHER kids, and start getting more exposure to the public so that they won't be so scaredy and shocked when they start preschool/pre-K in a few years. My son really never had that issue since "going to school" was always part of his day.

I would love to hear experiences from you all about how your childcare choice affected (or didn't affect) your kids' transition into pre-school or pre-K. If you kept your child home with a sitter or as a SAHM, how did your kids handle being put in a group program at an older age?

Thanks!!

 

I have my girls at home with a sitter, but they will start 1/2 day pre-k next year. They do library programs, parks, and a dance class and have had no real issues (other than normal 3 year old stuff) with having more structure. And I don't anticipate any issues when they start pre-k at the elementary school next year. They are very excited about when they get to start school!

 

As a former teaching I think kids will be in a school environment for so many year why rush it. It doesn't help them academically in the long run. I don't even have my kids in anything formal this year. I do have a get together once a week for 2 hrs with some friends who have 3 yr olds for a little social and mostly for fun so they can get out of the house. If you are worried about that find a dance/gymnastics/swimming/playgroup that you/nanny can do with the kids once a week. She could also take them to story time at the library. We do this have have since they were 18 mo. and we love it. It is free and gives some of that interaction. If it was me, I wouldn't rush it, they are barely 1.

 

Two of my kids had a year in preK and three had nothing til the first day of K. All have done just fine. The flexibility a nanny offers seems invaluable to me. There is no worry about when they are sick and can't go to daycare, you don't have to wake them or get them ready and out of the house by a certain time every day, they are in the comfort of their own home most of the time, and one of the biggest for me would be the decreased risk of serious illness. I'd say stick with what's working! There is always an adjustment period to being in school/group settings no matter when they start it. I've seen no evidence that kids starting earlier have long term advantages; any seeming advantages equal out by 1st or 2nd grade.

 

I stayed home for the first year, and then we had a nanny for the next two. I loved the convenience of having someone come to our house - so much easier than trying to wrangle two babies out the door in the chilly mornings. We decided to transition them to preschool at age 3. By then, they were definitely ready to be out of the house on a more regular basis and very much wanted to go play with other kids. They didn't have any problem with the transition in terms of social interactions, but they were used to playing with other kids from gymnastics classes, library story time, trips to the park, etc.

Edited to add: While we didn't have any problems with the social aspects of the transition, the rest was pretty horrible. DH and I needed to completely rearrange our schedules to account for the hour that it takes to wake the girls up, get them breakfast, and get out of the house. It's still tough six months later! And my kids were sick on and off for three months. I took so many vacation days from work that I didn't work a full week the entire three months between illnesses and school closure days. I'm glad we put our girls in preschool - they love it and we were ready to be done with our nanny (she lived with us and we all needed space). But getting rid of our nanny created tons of work for us that we didn't expect... rushed breakfasts, packing lunches and snacks, picking outfits, dealing with whiny kids who would rather play with Legos than get in the car, etc, etc, etc. So think through all of those things before you make the jump.

It sounds like if you do this transition, you would start next fall when your girls are almost 2? I think that's a fine time especially if you need to do it then or never due to enrollment issues. If you decide to wait until they're 3 or 4, though, they'll do fine too. Unless you have painfully shy kids, you don't need to worry about whether they start in a school setting at 2, 3, 4, 5 or even 6!

 

Although my girls spent some time in daycare, they were mainly taken care of at home with family or our super sweet neighbor. They have done excellent at school. They were so ready to be around children their age that they can't wait to go to school each morning. The first day they were a little unsure, but we have never had one tear. My Allison has really come out of her shell because of school. But I also agree with pp, why rush school? They are in school for thirteen years of their life, if they aren't having any trouble socially or academically, I would leave them with the nanny until they were a bit older..IMO.

 

I don't think you could go wrong either way. It really depends on which would be better for your family.
The one thing to think about is once you put them in a daycare type setting they will probably come down with all kinds of colds and bugs...
Good luck, let us know what you decide

 

I've always had my twins home with a sitter. They started preschool this fall, 3 times a week for half days and they continue to have the sitter when they are not in school. I worried a bit about the lack of socialization by keeping them home but they are doing great in pre-school with the other kids. It works for us financially, we had to deal with little illness and even now that they are in school they've only had some minor colds.