Lumpy Head Syndrome

Has anyone noticed that their DC has "lumps" on their noggins? They're not soft or tissue-like lumps, but he has actual BONE lumps on either side of his forehead. They're underneath his hairline so it's not really that obvious if you just look at him, but you can definitely feel them. I asked the doctor about his head and he said that many premature babies have odd shaped heads but that he wasn't concerned. He said that if he had to guess, he would say by the shape of his head that he was born around 34 weeks instead of 36. It doesn't bother me but my husband is convinced he'll have a social issues as a young adult becasue his head won't be normal. But this is also the person that wanted me to ask if his penis was too small . My husband and I have a tendency to try to keep a sense of humor about things regarding the boys and up until now it's been a joke (calling him our little Hellboy and whatnot) but now DH is doing all this research on corrective helmets and it's starting to make me a little worried as well. If it came down to that, I don't know that I would be able to deal with it. I think my little man is perfect and beautiful the way he is. I guess I'm saying that I'm afraid to bring it up again for fear of what correcting it might entail. What would you guys do? Any advice?

Okay, I'm going to just put it all out there. Caleb has been my "issue" baby since I was pregnant: TTTS donor, level 3 NICU, poor weight gain for first 3 weeks, undescended testicle, heart murmur, reaches most milestones later than his brother, etc. And Braxton has always been healthy as a horse. I am a pro at hiding it, but I struggle so much with this. I honestly feel like I am more attentive to Caleb because I feel like I have to protect him and because of this I have one very independent Braxton and a don't-leave-my-sight Caleb. I know that I show them both more than enough love as Braxton is the happiest baby I've ever seen. But I've always felt like Caleb needed me so much more. I just don't want this head thing to just be one more "issue" with him. It makes me sob to even think about it. I know many of you are saying count your blessings...nothing's actually wrong with him and believe me, I do every day. But it still makes me sad especially when Braxton has never had any issues at all. I didn't mean for this to be a vent/pity party but I just had to express what I had been feeling. Thanks for listening.

 

I don't know about the lumpy head thing, but I completely understand the protectiveness of one baby vs. another. For me, Ashlyn was the smaller of the two, she came home with an apnea monitor, and now she is wearing a plagio helmet. Ansley did have to battle reflux but has learned to do things more quickly on her own. Often, I feel sorry for Ashlyn since she has had more to "deal" with.

As a teacher, I see parents who completely protect their children (so they think) because their child is a little different or has had a harder life than others. I have observed how harmful this is to children since they seem to always run to their protective parent as a crutch rather than figuring things out on their own which eventually makes them fit in with the other children much more.

My point is, your Caleb isn't comparing himself to his brother...he's not wondering why he has to deal with more. As hard as it is, try not to think of it as one child vs. the other. Try to see each individual child and their issues rather than comparing challenges each face. I am constantly struggling with the same thing, so I get what you are saying. However, this is what I'm trying to do and it makes me feel better.

Alli

 

Seems there just are some "needier babies than others". When mine were born, my baby A was smaller, came home on the apnea monitor, had severe reflux, does the breath holding apnea spells now, but is the most independant little bugger. Baby B was healthy as a horse, but is such a momma's boy. I feel like I coddle and hold and do all for him way more than the other, but that's just because he is "needier". Don't think you are treating them unfairly, you are just meeting both of their seperate needs very appropriately. Health issues completely aside, it's his personality that makes him need you more! And that's OK!

 

Mine were 32 weekers and they both have a line from their flat spot to the top of the forehead. It is not noticeable unless you run your finger down it so I dont think it needs correction. But I think I know what you are talking about.

As for the "needier" baby. I think that we all can say that one child is more needier than the other at least on different days if not all the time. And as the PP said, that is okay. Dont beat yourself up over who you are spending more time with...they wont remember and you are doing what you need to do to meet their needs.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ Jan 15 2008, 08:59 PM) [snapback]573847[/snapback]
Mine were 32 weekers and they both have a line from their flat spot to the top of the forehead. It is not noticeable unless you run your finger down it so I dont think it needs correction. But I think I know what you are talking about.

YES!!! That is exactly what I'm talking about! Thank you guys. Great advice so far.

 

I actually have one girl with a bony lump in the back of her head (my brother has started calling it her 'smart bump'). I worried about it a little until someone -- I forget who -- asked me to think of any adults I know of or have heard of with funny shaped heads. I couldn't think of any. So I guess maybe all these lumps and bumps and minor flat spots just work themselves out.

Everyone else has already said awesome things on the neediness and I agree... so I just wanted to mention my theory on bumpy heads.

 

QUOTE
It doesn't bother me but my husband is convinced he'll have a social issues as a young adult becasue his head won't be normal. But this is also the person that wanted me to ask if his penis was too small


:rotflmbo: Sorry, but that is too funny! And I'm just trying to imagine Early Intervention PTs and OTs prescribing baby penis enlargement exercises...

I'm sorry you have yet another worry with Caleb, but it really sounds fine. And I can totally relate to the guilt! Even without any health issues, I always feel guilty when one baby is fussier/clingier and I can't give enough attention to the other. But it changes over time, and even from day to day. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. It's kind of hard when you have one needy baby and one happy go lucky baby to trust that the happy one is REALLY ok on his own - but if Braxton was upset and feeling shortchanged he'd let you know!

 

Thank you guys so much. I feel so much better. It's nice to know I can count on you ladies to help me put things into perspective.