Lovies, mine don't have one

I've heard others talk about thier kid's lovies. Like thier favorite blankie, stuffed toy, even the bottle or pacifier. But mine don't have any. Is this normal. Are they supposed to develope a comfort object? Is it unhealthy for them to not have one. Are they in danger of developing an unhealthy attachment to dh or me because they don't have a lovey?

thanks for the help

 

This may or may not help you but my daughter who is now 6 did not have anything like. She had several things she liked but she was never attached to something to the point of she couldnt go to sleep with out it or go anywhere without it. I think all kids are different. She is not overly attached to us. She is very independent and does very well on her own or in a group setting.

 

One of my twins never took to a lovey, no matter how hard I tried because he really needed something to get him to sleep sometimes. The other twin, as well as my youngest both have a stuffed animal that they can't live without.

 

IMO, you should consider yourself lucky that your children DON'T have a lovey! For many little ones, their lovey is necessary to provide them the comfort needed to fall asleep, or go back to sleep in the middle of the night. I'm assuming your children have mastered this without the need of a comfort object.

My DD never had a lovey as a baby. However, when she was 1 we gave her a baby doll to use to prepare her for the arrival of the twins. As she got a little older this baby took on a life of her own. Her attachment has waned a bit over the past year, but "Anna" is still extremely important to my DD. There have been many car trips (short, thankfully) where my DD was hysterical because we didn't bring "Anna". The summer my DD was 2yrs and 9 months Anna went missing. My DD was beside herself! I tried all kinds of other babies, but none were Anna, so none made her happy. I had to search EBay to find a replacement and pay extra for priority mailing. We told my DD that Anna went on vacation and would be home soon! She still talks about that time Anna went on vacation! :lol:

One of my boys is a thumb sucker and also formed an attachment to a Bankey blanket. About 16 months ago I gave him a stuffed Elmo because he loves Elmo so much. This has become lovey #2. He absolutely can't go to sleep without his loveys. When we went on vacation last year, and go camping, all the loveys have to come with us. He's a great sleeper too, but he needs his loveys!

My other son has no lovey and isn't attached to anything! He isn't any more clingy than either of the other two, although he has always been a bit of a "Momma's Boy" who has only recently been interested in Daddy.

All three of my kids are great sleepers and all started sleeping through the night at a very young age - when none had any lovey of any sort (not even a pacifier and before the thumb sucking began - we're talking young!)

As cute as it is to see my son with his Elmo or bankey, it can also be frustrating when one goes missing! Honestly, consider it one of the little blessings that your kids don't have one! I wouldn't worry at all!

 

Nope, nothing wrong with it or them.

None of mine had anything that they couldn't live without(lots of things that they loved) and I was happy about that.

 

Mine never took to them. DD did the plug until it was taken away. No lovey's though.

 

mine did not become attached until after they were one. Then it was small animals and blankets. But, at this point it is usually either or will do, unless it is a real bad day and it will be both baby charlies and a blanket and what ever else strikes his fancy. Not often. They still may become attached.

 

thanks for the replies!! I thought maybe they were missing an important step in development, but now I am much more at ease

 

QUOTE(Twinsylvania April @ Dec 12 2008, 09:53 PM) [snapback]1108990[/snapback]
thanks for the replies!! I thought maybe they were missing an important step in development, but now I am much more at ease


This is weird but I was just about to write the same exact question! Neither of my twins have ever been attached to anything! I was just pointing it out to my DH, we were talking about different things from the past year (my twins just turned one) and that was one thing I said to him, that I wondered if that meant something, and I was going to ask about it. No paci, no blankie, no lovie, no stuffed animal, no thumbsucking, no little peculiar habits (a friend's little boy always rubbed her earlobe when trying to go to sleep! haha!) So, I was wondering if that meant something as well. They do seem very clingy so I wish they would cling on to a blankie once in a while! LOL

 

My boys are 2 and they have never had lovies either. They like toys and stuff like that but never to the point that they just HAD to have them. I think it is better that way, you won't have to try to break a habit later! :woohoo: I wondered to same thing at one time too, hope it helps!


Born at 35wks 0days
Chandler Wyatt 4lbs 14oz
Walker Zane 4lbs 3oz
No NICU :itwins_boys:

 

Both my kids have a lovey but DD could really care less about hers, she doesn't need it at all and rarely plays/holds it when sleeping. DS on the other hand is super attached to his blankie, he won't go to sleep unless it is in his mouth and we always have to make a point not to let him have it outside of the crib. So I think that different kids are just different.

 

Neither of my boys has a lovey, or a pacifier, or anything. They like to cuddle with blankets and stuffed animals, but it doesn't have to be a particular one, any will do. I'm glad we don't have to keep track of a specific toy! It's hard enough keeping track of the sippy cups, shoes, and everything else!

 

Mine were over a year when they "picked" their lovey. Funny thing is my son's is a blanket thing with a head that I start calling creepy when he received it at birth becasue I was so disturbed to see a flat blanket with a 3-d head and feet. Now at 3.5, it is embarassing to explain who Creepy is .

 

My DS doesn't have one. DD does. I've tried to get DS to attach to something, but didn't work.

 

None of mine have anything like that - when my 10 year old was a baby he would grab my hair when I held him but none of them ever had a special blanket or anything!

 

Jacob is incredibly affectionate toward people, and likes stuffed animals, but has no distinct attachment to one in particular. Jackson is not affectionate toward people, but has a blanket that he is in LOVE with and completely neurotic about. To be honest, I think Jacob has much healthier attachment abilities than Jackson. However, that remains to be seen, I suppose. I think there is a broad spectrum of "normal" and your children are probably fine!