loveys

My kiddos are 19 months old boy/girl twins. They both carry around during the day and sleep with a lovey. They absolutely love their little bunny and doggy. They wont go anywhere without bringing it with them and they are actually quite responsible about making sure they have it with them at all times. It doesnt bother me at all that they have a lovey. Sometimes I feel that maybe they arent getting enough love and attention from me, thus the need for a lovey. But all in all, Im glad they have a "little friend" that makes them feel secure. But I am getting so much hassle from family and friends. Everyone telling me that I shouldnt let them carry their loveys around, or that it is time for them to get rid of them. I dont see what the big deal is. They dont use pacifiers, never did. They are off of bottles. They sleep great, eat wonderful and are all in all good kids.
When did your kids decide they no longer needed a lovey? Im sure they wont want to take them to school when they are 5 yrs old. LOL! Im just curious when to expect them to no longer want to carry it around all the time?

 

The boys each have a thing that they are attached too, the twins that is. Nathaniel has had his since birth, its a little blanket with an eeyore on it that looks like he is holding the blanket. It's Nathaniels, and the anytime he wants it outside of his crib is if he isnt feeling well. Generally I leave it in his crib, unless we are going on a rd trip. William has Scout, he got it for Christmas, and it only stays in his crib. If both boys wanted their "loveys" more I wouldnt have a problem letting them. I will also let them have it as long as they want/need them. I had a teddy until I was 12 so it really doesnt bother me how long they have it for. I still have my teddy actually. I am 31, took him with me when I moved away from home too. He had a spot on my bed.

 

yep, ours have loveys. but at some point I made them keep them for sleeping time in their cribs. I made them put/throw their loveys and pacis in their cribs in the mornings starting maybe at 18 mo? I know I got rid of pacis at 24 mo, and we'd instituted the crib rule for loveys before that.

now my dd has decided she also has to go get her 'bear-bear' for when she nurses... haha! anyway, it's all good, and when we're done the lovies go back in their cribs.

I have to laugh about the pp... i have a teddy bear that I love, I probably got it when I was 8 or so... but have taken it everywhere... even to college overseas! in fact, the bear still has a place IN my bed... yep, I still sleep w/it when it hasn't fallen off the bed.

as for others giving you grief... don't worry about it, but if you want to limit the lovies, then do it. I wouldn't totally get rid of them though, like you said it's nice for them to have a nice comfort!

 

My boys have little flannel blankets that were a shower gift to me. When I got them, I envisioned them walking up the stairs at night, thumb in mouth, dragging their blankets behind them. And well...it took awhile, but it's what they do(minus the thumb sucking)!

Anthony is wayyyyyy more attached to his "b" than Nicholas. He takes it downstairs with him everyday. Nicholas depends. Anthony will have it at the table, in the playroom, while watching tv, etc. It's definitely a security/comfort thing for him. They are three and I have no plans on taking it away.

Annabella is 20 months old, and she is like Anthony. She has 'bear-bear' which she has become extremely attached to. It has the soft side and the other side is silk, and it's a bear head. Well, she lays it down in her crib whenever she sleeps, silk side up. Lately we can't go anywhere without it. I may have to work on that. Incidentally enough, it's what the boys got her when she was born! :wub:

If people give you a hard time, tell them they raised their children, now it's your Ike to raise your own and will do as you see fit!

 

Ugh! Darn you autocorrect! It should say, " your TURN...." I'm on my iPod and can't edit it!

 

haha, My teddy went everywhere with me as a kid! My grandmother bought him for me when I was born. Poor thing has been washed so many times I am so afraid to wash him now as he would prob fall apart.

 

It depends on the child. Alyssa and Bryony always were very attached to their loveys (Alyssa has a muslin and Bryony has a rabbit soft toy) and still are. They still carry them around the house, sleep with them at night, take them on car trips and so on. They actually DID take them to school at 5 years old! Not every day and they had to keep them in their bag, they weren't allowed to have them out to play with. It made them more comfortable just to know that it was nearby. There would be major upset if they didn't have them at bedtime.
Naomi and Luke were always less attached, they each had a muslin and a "miaow-miaow" (toy cat). Mostly they only used them for sleeping, along with a pacifier. The pacis went when they were 3 and they gave up the muslins when they were 4. They still have their cats and Luke also has a teddy "bear-bear" and sleep with them at night, although sometimes they will pick a different soft toy and "miaow-miaow" will be at the foot of their bed. I don't think they would really miss them if they didn't have them one night.
Eleanor and Ethan both have muslin cloths as well and Ethan has a paci. They need them to sleep and will sometimes carry the muslins around the house (I don't let Ethan have his paci anywhere but the crib), but I don't encourage it. When they put down the muslin to play I will pick it up and put it away, it's very rare that they will go and get it out again. Eleanor does also like to have a soft toy with her when she goes to sleep but doesn't yet have an overriding preference for a specific thing, although there is one teddy that's favoured most often that I think will become her special one.

I've never really let any of them take their loveys out of the house (with the exception of things like going to the doctor for shots or going on an all day trip when they needed to nap). But that is just because I cannot deal with the possibility of them getting lost and the stress/upset it would cause. Their parents let them go out with the loveys so it's just personal choice. I can't believe anyone would be saying that a 19 month old is too old for a comfort item! You are right it really is no big deal.
My only advice would be; if it's possible to get exact copies of their bunny and doggy then do. Get them now (while they are little) and switch between the two versions. That way you have a spare should one ever get lost/ripped. An added bonus is it's easier to wash them (because the kids don't have to go without while they wash and dry) and they will not get worn out as quickly. The switching is important so that the two versions get worn down equally and smell/look the same. You can switch every week or two and don't even have to let them know there are two if you don't want.

 

My two had different stages of loveys. First they started out with a water bottle and an old remote :wacko: and then they received My Pals Scout and Violet for Christmas for the longest time, they would not go anywhere with out them or their blankets. I would say that this lasted about 6-7 months and we instituted a rule that Scout and Violet had to stay home and the blankets could come but that they had to stay in the car. My two are three now and they do have loveys (and quite a bit of them) that they have to have with them when they sleep.

 

My girls both have lovies. They both have the same two blankets (green and brown polka dots and a blue one) and Sanders absolutely knows which one hers and will flip out if she has the other one. Callahan also has two monkey lovies. This child insists on having both blankets and both monkeys with her. But we only use the lovies at home and the dr. They never go in publis for fear that we lose one and then the world come apart. They can use them as long as they want.....if they are happy then i am happy.

I also have a teddy bear that still lives in my bedroom, albeit under my bed these days, and i have had him since my first knee surgery at the age of sixteen. i have had that bear for 17 years and do not plan on getting rid of him anytime soon

 

I still have my lovey! But I don't take it to work with me

Seriously, my girls both have lovies, but around 18 months I started making them keep it in their cribs. It was only special occassions that they could bring them with us (long car rides or plane trips). Otherwise, I just couldn't deal with the stress of potentially losing one! Even now those lovies are the first thing on my packing list when we go away some where. Lovies=equal good sleep=happy momma!

 

My oldest started with a lovey around age 2, when we took his paci away. His green puppy slept with him every night and sometimes came with us places, although we tried to leave it at home most of the time so it didn't get too dirty or lost. He'll be 9 in 2 days and his green puppy still sleeps with him, just at the bottom of his bed now

He was probably 6-7 yrs old before he could go to sleep without his green puppy. We actually forgot to take him on a camping trip once. An emergency trip to walmart (that was over an hour away), and we couldn't find another green puppy, although we did find a pluto. He wasn't thrilled...but it got us through a couple of days without green puppy. Since then, I make sure to take all lovey's with us when we go anywhere!

My oldest dd is 4.5 and she will still sometimes bring her mickey mouse out of her room with her, but most of the time it stays in her bed.

The twins will be 2 in a few days, and Rylee carries her minnie everywhere in the house, although we do leave her at home unless she's not feeling well. She also has a small dinosaur and a puppy that she has to have to sleep with. Right now she's sitting on the couch next to me with all three of her "guys", watching tv :wub:

 

My boys both have loveys that I got for them on their first birthday. Jack could care less about his, but Nate is very attached to his and can't sleep without it. Ironically, Nate is my more independent one! ardon: My nanny doesn't like him to bring it out of his crib, but honestly I don't see the harm in it. He likes to carry it around, bite it, throw it up in the air....the only time I object is when he uses it as a deadly weapon! :lol: His lovey is a blanket with an elephant head on it; he'll hold it by the nose and whap things with it.

I don't let either boy take toys/stuffed animals out of the house so I don't think this is going to be an issue when he goes to school. I agree with Meaghan; you are raising your children as you see fit. They are healthy and happy, and people shouldn't give you grief about such a minor thing.

 

I think psychologists recommend that kids have lovies to help them cope with separation anxiety. The lovey phase is an absolutely normal phase of childhood development. Taking them away could be quite traumatic. That being said, I think imposing limits is fine. My girls can have their lovies anytime they want inside the house, but the lovies don't leave the house unless we're going on an overnight trip. Like a pp, I'm afraid of losing them.

 

My DDs are 5 and are still very attached to their loveys. However, we have never let them out of the house (except for overnight trips). We didn't even let the loveys leave their bedroom until they were over 4. I didn't want to be chasing down loveys at bedtime every night, let alone driving all over town if they left one in Target or something.

They each have a different "school lovey" and are allowed to take various other things in the car if they need/want to, but any toy or lovey taken from home does not leave the car.

With those parameters, they can keep their loveys forever if they want to. (I still have mine.) But if yours are carrying theirs literally everywhere they go, you probably do need to think about whether you want to let them keep doing that forever. It's your decision (and theirs).