Losing Control (vent)

I can't seem to get a hold on anything anymore. Money is so tight I'm afraid I'll wake up and the light will be cut off as well as the water and my refrigerator will be empty and he wants to joke. My husband deals with the stresses of life so differently than I do. Maybe its cause he's a male and I am an emotionally wrecked female, I don't Know. But what I do know is that I no longer sleep at night, I'm not eating properly, my hair is falling out again, and for some reason lately I have been having suicidal thoughts. I mentioned this to him and he simply says " dont worry anymore let me do the worrying". Well thats not possible. I just want out already. I want somebody to come knock on my door and say " hello i am here to take your place so go on with your life elsewhere". God and then when the house is finally quiet and the bills are not in sight I get this guilt in the pit of my stomach that causes the suicidal thoughts. I know I would never harm myself but yet just the mere fact that I have those thoughts scares the **** out of me. Who am I? I cant even answer that question. Things are just so wrong right now and I dont know which way to turn anymore.

 

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I think what you are feeling is completely natural. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your sig says your 22 and a mother of 3! I think you're doing a dynamite job. There's no way I would have been able to handle all that at 22. Is there someone in real life you can talk to? Sounds like your biggest worry is money, what can you do to bring in a little bit more? or cut back on spending. I know some cities have cost cutting clubs, a group of women who get together and help each other budget, share buying in bulk etc. I've only been through Laredo once but it seemed plenty big enough to have this sort of thing, or why not start one yourself with your girlfriends, sisters, etc. You are a strong women. You can do this. :hug99:

 

Sorry that you are having to deal with so much on your plate. My dh says similar statements when I worry and it is frustrating. I agree with Melissa though that you really need to find somene to talk to. It isn't good to be having those kind of feelings or thoughts. I am concerned for you and for your well being.

 

I would talk to your OB/GYN and or your PCP.....let them know how you are feeling.....there are things they can do to help you! I was looking at your ticker...the little ones are 1? could this be PPD? Please do not be afraid to reach out....we are here to listen...but please seek help with a medical professional...or what about any type of spiritual counseling?


Take care and please keep us posted!

Missy

 

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I would definitely talk to someone!!!! Just mentioning that you have these thoughts is alarming enough. Please find someone (i.e. priest, mother, OBGYN, PCP, trustworthy friend, etc..) to talk to!

If you're having money issues, you should sit down with your spouse and discuss all the bills/debt you have and reorganize your financial life. Create a plan. That is always helpful. If you know someone who seems to have their financials in check (no pun intended) ask them for advice and possibly have them sit with you to discuss it in detail! I know people don't like to share personal financial information, but if you really trust someone, it's worth it to reorganize your life and find some peace! Again, PLEASE talk to someone! Are you close to a sibling, mother, etc...? Just as someone else mentioned, being 22 with three little ones is a lot to handle, but you can do it! Ask for a gentle loving hand from someone! People are always wanting to help. Also, if a close friend asks how you are, be honest that things are kind of tough right now. Vent away and then do something about it with teh help of family and friends. I'm sure you'll be able to pull through, however, we cannot do it alone. We all need some support to live a healthy and fulfilling life.

 

Nadia, it's good to see you! I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I agree with the pp in that you should get in and be seen by a doctor. You shouldn't be feeling that way. :hug99: