Looking for Reassurance

So, I went absolutely over the moon last week when we found out we were having twins. I just could not believe how lucky I am! I have told the entire world! I posted it on facebook, uploaded their ultrasound picture, and even went as far as to buy them their first matching outfits (they were on sale at GAP, I couldn't resist). So many thoughts never even occurred to me until one of my friends overloaded me with negative statistics. She mentioned miscarriage rates, my age (I'm 34), vanishing twin syndrome, and the fact that even though I saw both heartbeats, the statistics are not on my side. I've been so sad the past couple of days driving myself crazy. I already love these two precious babies with my heart and soul and can't imagine anything happening to them. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that odds are on my side and I'll be a mommy to twins later this summer. Thanks......

 

So first of all....CONGRATS on being a soon to be twin Mommy! Second of all....STOP! Reading all the negative stuff online and listening to negative comments will only stress you out. The risk of vanishing twin syndrome goes way down after you see heartbeats.

I was so nervous because we found out very early that we were having twins (around 7 weeks) and even though I saw both heartbeats I was never fully satisfied that we were REALLY going to have twins until I passed the 12 week mark and still saw two hearbeats and babies in there.

Hang in there. This place is AWESOME for support! Don't let your friend get you down!

 

She obviously isn't that good a friend if she is being that negative. Like lisa meantioned the chance of VTS goes down once hb are seen. I would lay off the clothes shopping as it will be a while before sex can be determined. Also 34 isn't ancient and you do have 3 children already

 

First, congrats on your pregnancy, and second, welcome! Third, wow, supportive friend. I'd have clobbered her. :friends: Look at it this way: you have three little ones running around so that indicates a good track record as far as being able to carry a pregnancy, and you've seen the babies' heartbeats, right? That's so huge!!! Don't focus on the negative things people throw at you.

Twin pregnancies can take a lot out of a girl and you're going to need lots positive support, not someone feeding you a bunch of balogna. Seriously. You'll find TS will be the place you come to ask questions, celebrate milestones, and vent your frustrations. Oh, and the age thing? I had my twins at 41, so you're far from ancient. Stay positive and surround yourself with people who won't try to bring you down. Cool?

 

I'll be 41 when I give birth to healthy twins. I'm currently 21 weeks and going strong. I won't say there aren't things that could happen - but truly don't worry about it until or if it happens. Enjoy this special special time!

 

That type of negative thinking your friend was doing is not the way to go. Sure it's higher risk then a singleton but just look at all the members on this site, you shouldnt feel bogged down with the idea that it will be anything less then healthy and normal.
Be happy for yourself!!
Good luck!

 

Congratulations! I'm a statistician in the health care industry and I can tell you that the odds *are* on your side. I agree with everything the PP mentioned - especially that thinking positively is one of the best things you can do for you and your babies!

 

Thank you SO much everyone! I just needed to hear it from people who have been there. I just feel so truly blessed to be going through this. I never in a million years thought I would be blessed with twins. My most favorite toy when I was younger was my set of twin Cabbage Patch Kids that I received in 1986, and to be pregnant with identical twins right now is just a dream I never want to wake up from. I know how difficult the road ahead is, having three children already, but I also know how great the rewards are. I'm looking so forward to getting to know all of you and your precious twins!

 

CONGRATS I'm 32 weeks preg with twins and like you I have three older children. I am also 34 years old. My pregnancy has been great and we are really excited about the twins ... especially the kids. Ignore negative people, surround yourself with positive people and enjoy your pregnancy. I AM!!!

 

Once you see the heartbeat the rate of miscarriage drops alot! I will be 40 when my twinlies arrive. I was scared in the beginning too but I have decided I will enjoy this last pregnancy. Sure there are some things out of our control, but focus on the things you can control like eating well, getting lots of protein, resting, drink lots of water etc! Congrats!!

 

I am also 34, and will be 35 when my babies are born. Even most problems that might happen, with modern medicine what it is, most anything could be taken care of. I did have some problems earlier, it was taken care of, and now me and the twins are doing great.

 

congrats on your twins! and :welcome:

i agree with what everyone else has already said.

yes, there are things that may go wrong. but there's absolutely no sense what-so-ever in worrying about them until/if they do. because you also have a very good chance of having a completely uneventful pregnancy that results in two healthy, happy babies & a healthy, happy mom.

next time your "friend" gets going tell her to shut her trap.

 

Yeah, that friend needs to shush next time. A simple "You're scaring me" usually works. There was a lady who sat next to me at work who would make comments about all of the babies, including multiples, that she lost. After awhile, I had to say something to her as it began to upset me.

The best thing I found for negative stuff was to be proactive. The best resource I found for that was Dr. Barbara Luke's book on multiples. It will give you a scientific guarantee of healthier babies born at any gestation.

Good luck!

 

I agree - arm yourself with "good" statistics and knowledge. I am so sorry that your friend did that to you. We're hard enough on ourselves when pregnant - we don't need any additional things to worry about. Once you see the heartbeats the risk of VTS goes WAY down (like everyone has said). And really, things happen in a singleton pregnancy too, but we don't bombarb a newly pregnant mom with miscarriage statistics. Ugg.

But on the up side, CONGRATULATIONS on the twins!! Twins are absolutely wonderful and will be such blessings in your life!!

 

We found out at 6 1/2 weeks we were having twins - two heartbeats and ultrasound...I had two miscarriages before the twins and I was SO nervous! Each milestone was big for me - 12 weeks was my first goal, and then 20 weeks, and then 24 etc...Every little ache and pain scared me to death! I wish I could have enjoyed my pregnancy more! Trust that everything will be fine and enjoy being pregnant - write down little things in a journal, like what you are craving, when you first feel them move, etc.

Be excited! And let everyone baby you! It IS exciting!

Congratulations and hope everything goes great!!!