long long vent

I just need to vent for a bit, something is up with these babies, they won't stop crying, I think one (so probably both) has thrush which I read can cause bad gassiness, and since they are already gassy babies, they just keep screaming ... the last two nights have been ****, I've gotten maybe 7 hours sleep in both nights, they each keep waking up, either need the pacifier or need to be held/rocked to sleep, so no sleep for me, my SO isn't helping at all with the night stuff, he told me he would the other day help me with every feeding but only got up for the first one, I've been wanting to nap at night but haven't been able to, SO isn't feeling well or something and last night slept from like 630 until this morning and it's always just me with these babies, I was soooo tired this morning, I just wanted them to nap so I could sleep but of course the one morning I really need sleep is the morning that one was always up crying, I was crying and begging with them to sleep ... I'm losing my temper, I threw my glasses and some other stuff, I just want to literally bang my head into a wall or something, I'm actually getting urges to hurt myself and it's scaring me, is this part of PPD? SO makes it so much better by asking if I'm "menopausal", he told me I'm worse now than when I was pregnant, thanks for the support. I tried tp call my parents to talk and no one answered, amd no one knows what its like to be utterly exhausted with two screaming babies that demand your attention. I guess SO is sick, well, so am I, I've had this sinus thing for awhile on my right side, I can hear clicking in my ear and pressure in my ear/head when I swallow and the right side of my nose is all stuffy, my throat is sore and I'm tired but that doesn't matter because Moms always come last. The house is a mess ... just seems like me and everything is falling apart. And I'm not giving my babies the attention they deserve, all I want to do today is lay on the couch with them, I don't even want to do activities or anything but they just cry ... I'm loading them up in their carseats later and going to get some food, it will calm them down and feed me, oh yeah I really wanted cheerios, finally got a chance to have some and there is no milk. You almost have to laugh.

Just really had to vent, thanks.

 

Hang in there! I completely understand what you are going through. Your situation sounds exactly like the past few nights with our boys. I am running on low from lack of sleep and I think the babies are now so overly tired, they are even more cranky. Its a viscious cycle. At one point, I just put them in their crib, shut the door and laid down in my bed for a few minutes. They continued to cry, I knew that nothing was wrong, so I let myself have a little break. Try to do that if you can. And keep trying to get ahold of friends or family and see if someone can come over to give you a hand!

 

oh you poor thing...i'm so sorry.

you have been single handedly dealing w/these boys for 3 mos...is there money in the budget to payfor a few hours of help a week? we had to do that or i would have lost my mind. you really need a break and if friends and family arent available...paid help may be your only option.

try to hang in there...i dont know how you do it...i really admire how you handle the boys on your own

 

OK, Dad is coming down for a bit so I can get a breather. Thank God. Although I feel like I'm not even tired anymore, haha.

 

This was just about the hardest time for me, and then litterally overnight, it got better. They seemed much happier and less fussy at around 4 months.

I am glad you are getting some help. Have you tried some "Little Tummies" for the gas? Otherwise, it wouldn't hurt to give them some Motrin, maybe they are feeling some of the discomfort in their heads and sinuses that you are. They do not need a fever to have a ear infection so you could try some warm oil drops in their ears. Anything to turn the sleep cycle around, overtired will breed an inability to sleep...strange huh.

Good Luck to you. The house will be a mess for the next 18 years or so, don't sweat it, it will still be standing after you've had some sleep.

 

Oh, hey, just noticed. I am a Milwaukee born gal. My brother and his DP are still there. Go cheese heads!

 

Kendra! You are in the midst of twin madness. AKA...the first 4 months after they are born!! Take care of yourself. And by all means lay on the couch all day if you need to, you are allowed! One day is not going to hurt them.