Little Miss Independent

I think I have created a monster...I am pretty sure that she came out of the womb this way, so either way, I guess I am to blame ^_^

I know it will serve her well as she gets older, but DD is very stubborn and independent. I read "Raising Your Spirited Child" and that helped tremendously in dealing with her personality. We have given her the independence she needed and that has reduced the number of battles.

However, I really, really, really wish I had some say in her clothing choices. She insists on wearing the same two or three shirts and same two or three pairs of pants. I cannot get her to wear a dress or a skirt or anything that is really cute. This weekend, I finally HID one of her favorite shirts (a bright green shirt that had Winnie the Pooh sitting under a Christmas tree; it used to light-up like the sneakers, but it was washed one too many times). I put it in her memory bin so I can look back and laugh with her . Her other favorite is a pair of navy windpants that are small enough to be capris. I tried to buy her a new pair of windpants to replace them, but she screamed and insisted that I "give them to other girls." I did take her to buy a new shirt a few weeks ago...she picked out two out and will only wear one of them. The other one sits, abandoned in her drawer.

And the hair...oh, her hair. She would be so ADORABLE if I could get anything in it (no clippies, no bows, no ties, no pigtails, nothing). Most of the time, she looks like her mommy does not care...she will not let me touch it.

I know that there will come a time when I will wish that she did not care so much about her appearance, but is there an age when the extreme "girliness" rears it head? I am waiting for the day that we butt heads over having too many bows in her hair <_<

 

You say she is very independent and stubborn, I wonder if it is simply because she knows you really want her to let you do her hair/dress her up that she refuses? Perhaps if you can perfect the act of not caring at all she will decide she does want to. Or maybe she is just a shirt and pants girl through and through!

My older twin girls were actually the opposite of your daughter; I could do anything with their hair when they were younger but more and more, from about the age of five they didn't want anything. They have beautiful hair and I would love to style it but they're just not into it. They have to have it tied up when they go to swimming and ballet lessons but 99% of the rest of the time they just brush it through and leave it loose. Naomi has very short hair so there's nothing to do with that either. I've pretty much had to cut my losses on the hair front. ardon:

 

oh my, some days my dd has a big opinion on her clothing, but nothing like your dd! so sorry!

as for the hair... this past summer around 26 mo. we got the pony tail on the top of her head - so cute, my dh LOVED doing her hair like that... but it didn't last long. we couldn't get many other hair clips in or barrettes at all for over 6 months now. Just last week I went out on a limb and bought 4 sets of barretts and clips that will match outfits for this fall... and some days she'll put them in. I think part of it is the style of barrettes and clips are bit different, and she seems to like a few of them. I got a cute set of those bendable clips that are shaped like hearts and she's worn those a few times.

I have them all hanging on a ribbon that I tied around the medicine cabinet door so that she can see them... maybe giving her a way to see them all will help?

though, you probably just need to chill out about it... ugh! I hope that it gets better for you soon!

 

My girls refused to let me touch their hair until they were about 3 1/2 (drove me insane). Then all of the sudden, they wanted me to put it in cute ponytails, and dog ears (which I absolute ate up). They've recently reverted back to "I want to wear it down and in my face like a rock star" which drives me insane, but I let them. For me, I could have cared less if they wore the same shirt over and over and over (which they did). The only rule I had was #1 you had to wear clothes and #2 you have to take it off long enough for me to wash it (which at times was a battle). You should have seen some of the outfits they wore with me to the grocery and to my family's homes. It was hilarious, but it just didn't bother me, I guess mainly because they thought they were so cute so I just couldn't bring myself to contradict that feeling they had. For church, I did put my foot down and told them they had to wear dresses and usually let them pick between several choices. Clothing just never has been a big deal. Sarah is still my diva. She wants to wear some of the craziest clothes to school, and yes, I let her (to a certain extent). She wore these crazy flower pants with a pink tutu one day. She thought she was the most gorgeous thing, and apparently the other little girls just loved her outfit ...I never had the personality to not care what anyone else thinks, so to a certain extent I do encourage her uniqueness.

 

I don't fight my girls with the hair thing. Sometimes they want bows and most of the time they don't. When I am putting stuff in my hair they often want some too, so I take the opportunity to put argan oil/leave in conditioner and brush their hair. With clothes, I pick try to keep them out of their closet, and just pull out two or three choices and they choose from that. I suspect that one of my girls will be the one to wear the tutu everywhere. And as long as the clothes are clean and they are comfortable with what they are wearing, I don't care. My main concern is to make sure I don't inhibit their confidence but build it.

 

Oh my goodness!!! my Ava is that way!! She is VERY picky. EVEN with pjs they have to be perfect , not necessarily matching just her perfect taste. In Ava's case the more sparkles the better and the worse something looks with her favorite candy corn striped tights the more she loves it LOL and lately it has been tutus imagine a sparkly pink tutu with orange, yellow and white striped tights and and her favorite shirt with an ice skating dog on it that's her outfit of choice. I bought the candy corn tights Halloween 2009 to go with a cute ghost pillow case dress that she hated because it is not pink and sparkly who knew the tights would be her very favorites!! Thank goodness I did not get the fish net tights LOL!!
Her shoes also have to be sparkly nothing else will do. She has picked out and cried for non sparkly shoes but she will not wear them so I do not buy them anymore! OH and she has a white sweater that is a size 2 she LOVES it now for some reason and it is way too small! When she wears it with her favorite outfit, she REALLY looks like I don't care! And as girly as she is DO NOT BOTHER WITH HAIRBOWS!! She will take them out AS soon as I turn my head! But her nails have to be painted LOL!!

Addison is the opposite she could care less what she wears!!

 

I feel your pain. I just figure that parents understand and realize that I didn't dress them this way on purpose

 

Both my kids have picked out their own clothes almost exclusively since they were two. We only have two rules (other than things being weather-appropriate):

1 - Everything goes in the hamper after being worn, and Mommy does not do laundry just so they can wear one particular thing. This at least gets us out of the "same shirt every day" problem. (That may not work with extremely spirited kids or kids with sensory issues who really NEED that one shirt, but it works for us.)

2 - Outgrown clothes get handed down to another child. (It helps to have a recipient they are fond of, so they sort of enjoy "giving" things to her by putting them in her bag.) I'm pretty lenient with this -- right now they're both wearing clothes that barely reach their ankles and wrists. But those things are all going in the hand-me-down bag at the end of this winter season!

Amy has worn a dress nearly every day for 3 years -- Sarah went for a year or two without wearing dresses at all. For the past several months, her preferred look has been a dress with pants underneath. I wish both of them would wear shirts & pants/jeans sometimes -- I think they look so cute in pants! But I don't fight that battle.

Amy always wants me to do fancy things with her hair (she always has) -- but she is a kid and it still looks like a rat's nest within an hour. No amount of barrettes and ponytails can prevent that. Sarah has had really short hair for 2 years because she won't let us touch it, but that is more of a sensitive scalp issue than a style issue.

 

Thanks everyone I think a lot my angst comes from looking at all the cute spring/summer clothes that are out right now. I want to buy her some new outfits, but who knows if she will actually wear them??? I do not want to waste the money to have them sit in her dresser.

It did help to take her along on a recent trip to Target. She picked out one shirt and LOVES it. Maybe I can choose another weekend to take her out again for a few more items? That is not ideal for our busy schedule, but I guess if it is important enough for me, then I need to make the time!

And she actually had her hair in pigtails for a few moments yesterday! Then promptly ripped them out ^_^

 

I have to laugh a day after I read your post and commented, my dd wouldn't change into PJs that night, and slept in her leggings & tshirt... THEN the next morning she wouldn't put on a new shirt... so literally she wore the same shirt for 36 hrs! that was out of the ordinary...

hope that you can actually get one new super cute outfit with pigtails!!