Likes Putting On Mommy's Heels, Sandals

Hello Everyone,
I haven't posted in awhile. Hope everyone is well.

My son likes putting on MY heels and purses. We tell him those shoes and purses are for girls... Jada(his twin sister) Mommy & Granny. We then give him his shoes, Daddy's shoes a toy truck or toy wrench..something for boys. He cries when we take these girly items from him. He soon gets over it, but at least twice a week he is putting on my heels and purses. I try to remember to never leave my shoes or purses laying around, but sometimes I do forget. I have heard this is normal at this young age, but consider it a problem if he still does it at 5, 6, 7 years old. Then some say oh no, that is definitely NOT normal at any age. Do any of your DS like your shoes or purses? I need your input. It's making me a little uneasy.

 

I wouldn't worry about it at all... I actually tend to think that the bigger deal you make out of it the more he'll want to do it... JMHO. I have an 8 year old son who is ALL boy! But he still will walk around in my heels and fancy shoes... He'll also wear my headbands, which is gross cause his hair ALWAYS has dirt in it I think it's very normal and I think that teaching them to play with things and dress up-no matter what they are dressing up in helps their imagination and helps them grow. Hope this helps!

ETA--grammer

 

My boys used to want to try on my shoes and jewelry. The shoes I think because they were mine, and I was the number-one person in their world when they were small, and the jewelry because it was shiny. People are like magpies, they like shiny things. I never discouraged them, I just let them do whatever, and soon enough they'd be off to tools/trucks/trains and the other boy items they really liked.

Both are teens now, both are very masculine, both are interested in girls. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

all 3 of my younger boys play in my stuff. I won't let them take it out of the house but what's the harm? I think they like our stuff cause it is flashier and looks like more fun.

 

He is so young and seems totally normal to me!! He likes to try new things...especially what mommy is doing! I wouldn't worry about it at all.

 

This is totally normal and it's a developmental phase. Your son looks up to you and wants to do what you do. He's also at the age where he doesn't understand that there are 'boy' things and 'girl' things, so the more you let your DD try on your shoes, the more he'll want to. In six months or a year, he'll start to realize that men and women are different and he'll want to emulate your DH. He'll want man shoes and man toys. That's normal too.

My advice is don't make a big deal out of your son putting on your shoes now... he's just playing. If you do make a big deal out of he'll either wonder what he's done wrong or wonder why mommy lets his sister play but not him.

 

Oh, it's totally normal. Trevor is always walking around here in princess shoes, oldest DD's shoes, my shoes or anyone else's shoes he can find, except his own. :lol: I've even got a picture of him walking around in the light up pink princess shoes, which DH was not very happy about. :laughing:

 

My boys are all the time getting into my shoes, purses, jewelry,etc and wearing it around the house. They are just experimenting and having fun. Just this morning while I was getting dressed the boys each got a bra out of my drawer to wear. They kept them on for about 30 seconds and moved on to something else to destroy or play with :giggle:

 

QUOTE
I have heard this is normal at this young age, but consider it a problem if he still does it at 5, 6, 7 years old.
I have children in this age range who often wears the shoes of their opposite sex parent, it does not bother me for one minute. I absolutely do not consider it to be a "problem". I completely disagree with the idea that certain toys are for girls and certain toys are for boys (referring to the part of your post about the wrench/truck, there is no reason why a girl can't play with a wrench/truck). Sorry, I am just not a fan of labeling toys by gender! I would leave your purses/shoes wherever you would normally and let it go. The only time it would bother me was if I was looking for those things and was having trouble finding them because a child had moved them or worse, I trip over big shoes that were moved by a child while carrying a hot pan to the sink to strain (can ya tell that has happened before :laughing: ?).

 

QUOTE(stephe @ Jun 20 2008, 03:26 PM) [snapback]837179[/snapback]
Just this morning while I was getting dressed the boys each got a bra out of my drawer to wear. They kept them on for about 30 seconds and moved on to something else to destroy or play with :giggle:

:rofl:

 

Totally fine - even @ 5 & 6.

 

I think it's normal too. Jackson is 3 and wants to know how old he has to be to have a purse -- LOL. He is also fasinated with my painted toenails and wants a pink cupcake for his birthday next week. He is going to get a pink cupcake too . We don't make a big deal about it.

Mendy

 

There was a boy at the library today, probably between 4 and 6, wearing a big silver necklace (plastic silver stars, like a bday gift bag necklace). No big deal.

 

QUOTE(ehm @ Jun 20 2008, 07:40 PM) [snapback]837207[/snapback]
I have children in this age range who often wears the shoes of their opposite sex parent, it does not bother me for one minute. I absolutely do not consider it to be a "problem". I completely disagree with the idea that certain toys are for girls and certain toys are for boys (referring to the part of your post about the wrench/truck, there is no reason why a girl can't play with a wrench/truck). Sorry, I am just not a fan of labeling toys by gender! I would leave your purses/shoes wherever you would normally and let it go. The only time it would bother me was if I was looking for those things and was having trouble finding them because a child had moved them or worse, I trip over big shoes that were moved by a child while carrying a hot pan to the sink to strain (can ya tell that has happened before :laughing: ?).


I have to agree with this 100%. I think it is totally normal. I also think that there is not a thing wrong with it at all!! At 2.5 I doubt that he really even has a clue that it is not socially acceptable (to most, but not me) to be wearing heels and carrying purses. He has a twins sister so he probably doesn't understnad why she gets to play with mommy's shoes and he doesn't. And he probably isn't pitching a fit because you are taking "girly" things away from him, he is probably pitching a fit becuase you are taking things away period. Personally I don't think it is even an issue, but you obviously are bothered by it, enough to come back on here and post about it. What specifically bothers you? I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but I just don't understand it. I can't tell you how many pictures I have snapped of Sam carrying around Emily's pink purses, I think it is hysterical! I can understand wanting to protect your child from ridicule later on, but personally I think it is better to let a child feel comfortable in his own skin, no matter how "abnormal" it may be socially, and him know that he is accepted and loved by me unconditionally. Just a what if, and I am not implying AT ALL that a toddler carrying around a purse in his mother's high heels "makes" or indicates in any way that the child will turn out to be a homosexual, but what if he did turn out to be gay and he knew from a very early age that mommy didn't accept the way that he acts? Not meaning to open a can of worms or anything!

Stepping of my soap box now.....

 

100% normal. My 8yo loved wearing my shoes and using a purse when he was little (3-4) and he just eventually grew out of it. He's all boy. It's really just a phase where he's emulating mommy.

 

Very normal. Blake loves to wear dress up shoes. He is all boy mind you. I wouldn't be worried about it at this age.

 

my son walks around in my sandals and my mom actually had to take one of her old purses and throw it in the toybox for my son - he thinks its funny - he puts on my shoes, grabs his sisters Zoe purse and stuffs as many toys in it as possible and shuffles around the house like an old woman! :rofl:

as far as the purse - its a receptacle - to see how much he can shove in there and drag around...as for hammers and wrenches and stuff - DD LOVES Bob the Builder - I think its great!!

 

I wouldn't worry about it. I think my main concern would be him tripping/falling from walking around in shoes that are too big/tall. I think he probably spends most of his time with you and just wants to emulate you!

 

Absolutely! My 6 year did this a lot when he was younger but grew out of it and now he is ALL BOY!

 

They like to dress up like their sisters. I think it's TOTALLY NORMAL and you should allow him to play. I'm sorry it's making you uncomfortable.

A funny aside, I met my girlfriend at the pool this week with her b/g twins that are about a month younger than mine and I was putting sunscreen on her son and he had the lovliest shade of PINK TOES!! I cracked up and said Jonathan, LOVE YOU TOE POLISH!! too funny!!!

I do think the more you object, the more fun it becomes!

 

QUOTE(samilymom @ Jun 20 2008, 09:06 PM) [snapback]837383[/snapback]
I have to agree with this 100%. I think it is totally normal. I also think that there is not a thing wrong with it at all!! At 2.5 I doubt that he really even has a clue that it is not socially acceptable (to most, but not me) to be wearing heels and carrying purses. He has a twins sister so he probably doesn't understnad why she gets to play with mommy's shoes and he doesn't. And he probably isn't pitching a fit because you are taking "girly" things away from him, he is probably pitching a fit becuase you are taking things away period. Personally I don't think it is even an issue, but you obviously are bothered by it, enough to come back on here and post about it. What specifically bothers you? I don't mean to sound harsh or anything, but I just don't understand it. I can't tell you how many pictures I have snapped of Sam carrying around Emily's pink purses, I think it is hysterical! I can understand wanting to protect your child from ridicule later on, but personally I think it is better to let a child feel comfortable in his own skin, no matter how "abnormal" it may be socially, and him know that he is accepted and loved by me unconditionally. Just a what if, and I am not implying AT ALL that a toddler carrying around a purse in his mother's high heels "makes" or indicates in any way that the child will turn out to be a homosexual, but what if he did turn out to be gay and he knew from a very early age that mommy didn't accept the way that he acts? Not meaning to open a can of worms or anything!

Stepping of my soap box now.....


I quoted this whole thing because I thought it bears repeating. It is so important to accept our kids exactly how they are - what they want to play with has no bearing on their worth of people. Your son wanting to play with "girls" things has nothing to do with the person he will become - he is far too young for that. But even if he continues wanting to play with things that you for some reason feel are inappropriate, it is your duty as his parent to accept him and love him as he is. Society puts far too much pressure on kids to play with the right toys and like the right things - why should every child conform to antiquated notions of "boys" and "girls" toys? I purposefully give my children all kinds of toys - I don't want them to feel that they are being forced into gender roles. After all, some of the best chefs are male, and some of the best engineers are women.

Okay, now I'll get off her soapbox...

 

To - EHM & SAMILYMOM:
I was not trying to start an argument or confrontation. (smile) I agree with you all…my DS is still very young and he is only playing by dressing up in my shoes and carrying my purses. I am a FIRST TIME parent, so I just wanted some input on the situation. Everyone in my circle who is giving me their advice will have their own opinions on it, they’re entitled to it, that is what makes us all unique. Thanks again ladies!

 

I'd say it's totally normal. I think I'd only have two concerns, though:
1) he could hurt himself tottering around in the shoes, and
2) he could hurt the shoes tottering around in the shoes

Maybe he'd like to play with some cool looking flip-flops instead?

 

Absolutely normal...but I've got a funny story.

My friend is a single mom of twins. She had some workmen come to her house to build a deck. Her son was beside himself with joy - he thought that Bob the Builder was there. He decided to run upstairs and put on his work clothes so he could help out. He eventually came downstairs with his orange vest with reflective tape, a hard hat, a tool belt and high heeled shoes. When asked about the shoes, he replied that they were Mommy's work shoes.

Isn't that the cutest!

My nephew who has a twin sister went to the extreme of only wanting to wear her clothes (and he looked darn cute in them too). Actually, he just wanted to be as much like her as possible. It was a abit of a self-esteem thing to be sure but he grew out of it. Now Spider man is the only thing going on.

 

We call my 3 1/2 year old boy the Imelda Marcus of toddlers! LOL!! He LOVES womens shoes, make up, bras, etc etc. But he is also very "boyish" so I don't worry at all. It is completely normal. At this age, they don't understand the gender difference.

 

kids like to dress up and wear heels, doesn't matter male female, totally normal

 

100% totally normal. My boys will "steal" any girl shoes they can and walk around in them. As I explained to my husband once, girls have cooler shoes than boys.

 

LOLOLOLOLOL!!! That is the cutest story I've heard in awhile!! I hope they took a picture of him.


QUOTE(Momto2es @ Jul 15 2008, 06:52 PM) [snapback]877924[/snapback]
Absolutely normal...but I've got a funny story.

My friend is a single mom of twins. She had some workmen come to her house to build a deck. Her son was beside himself with joy - he thought that Bob the Builder was there. He decided to run upstairs and put on his work clothes so he could help out. He eventually came downstairs with his orange vest with reflective tape, a hard hat, a tool belt and high heeled shoes. When asked about the shoes, he replied that they were Mommy's work shoes.

Isn't that the cutest!

My nephew who has a twin sister went to the extreme of only wanting to wear her clothes (and he looked darn cute in them too). Actually, he just wanted to be as much like her as possible. It was a abit of a self-esteem thing to be sure but he grew out of it. Now Spider man is the only thing going on.

 

I think it's totally normal. Mommy's shoes are fun! Not to mention he idolizes his mom (obviously) so sharing anything of hers is the best. When I was teaching kindergarten many of my male students used to dress up as "mommies" in the house centre. I thought it was adorable to see them acting like mamas. I never gave it a second thought. I don't think you should make a big deal - you might end up confusing him.

 

Michael loves to wear my shoes, sneakers, flip flops, etc.

He also loves to wear Katherine's!

I'm not too worried about it.