lets talk tantrums

the kind that if they had a scale to measure it, it would be right up there on an 8 or 9!!! Today i decided to spend some tme with Victoria and Athena, as the new twins are keeping me very busy and although no major problems, the girls did show signs of stress. I promised them a milkshake and a toy each.

So i did the unthinkable, I took them to Toys R Us!!!!!!!!

Very brave but utterly stupid.... clearly I am sleep deprived an did not think straight. In the store, they wanted everything, my promise of 1 toy only was forgotton and they wanted everything with tinkerbell on it. My NO answer set of a tantrum complete with screams, kicks and slaps... I just stood there for a few moments, looked at them. then went about my other shopping for the new babes,(diapers, breast pads etc) as if nothing was happening and gave the tantrums no attention.

after a few minutes, okay very long minutes they stopped the tantrum and they chose their one toy.

But the looks I got from the other shoppers, the tongue clicking, the head shaking etc realy annoyed me endlessly. I am sure I am not the first mom whose kids had a tantrum in a shop. And from experience i know that no matter what I try, they wont stop until they get hang of themsleves emotionally, and to get all huffed about it will not help. I did not feel the need to "appologise" for totally normal, and reli a tantrum is normal, behaviour. it lasted 6 minutes only. yes i was lucky.

What do you girls do when your twins have a meltdown. We cant keep them from the toy stores ALL the time until they are 16. i mean they have to learn somewhere how to behave in public??? or should i have done something differently?

 

I agree, you can't keep them from the stores all the time, but if this were me, they would not have gotten their toy. If we are in a toy store and they are allowed to get a toy, the rule is they behave the entire trip and we get the toy last (and this has always been my rule since they were about 2 or so). They scream and throw a temper tantrum they get no toy (now that they are older we don't have severe tantrums, just crying and such). I agree with you, I do not apologize and I don't care what other people think. I do the best I can and if it gets so bad that I need to leave, then I leave, but they would not have gotten a toy and then when we got in the car, I would have explained to them why they didn't get their toy. And if the tantrums involved slapping, kicking, etc., I probably would have taken a toy away at home as well.

 

ITA

I'm having an issue with my one son because he does not want to be in the stroller. Part of it's my fault I guess because when I need to just run into a store, I let them walk with me. If I need to go to Walmart or grocery shopping, I can't control two 26 month olds so they have to be in the stroller. I was at JC Penny's the other day and he was throwing a tantrum in the stroller. I tried giving him a snack, water ect and finally I just ingnored him and he calmed down and ate his snack.

People were looking at me and even worse going up to him trying to calm him down. I just told them he does not want to be in the stroller but he has no choice and to please leave him alone. Then they get all rude on me because they were trying to help!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I would never go up to someone else's child when they are crying or having a tantrum; it's not my buisness.

 

This has nothing to do w/ your topic but can you post more pictures of your older twins for us?? I think they look soo much alike! Have you had them DNA tested? I've only seen them in your little avatar there and it's kinda hard to tell from that, of course.

Can we see more?

 

I agree about maybe not having gotten the toys. Otherwise, you're right, sometimes they just have to calm down. We've found that if we just ignore the tantrum they will stop sooner.
Sorry you had a rough time, it's always harder when tantrums happen in public and you have the added stress of people judging your parenting. :hug:

 

Hi Meredith, i will post pics soon. My older two are not ID, we did have them tested as they looked so alike as babies, but they ae fraternal. They still look alike but one, well we can , see the difference.

Gabriella and Serena are ID twins, we had them tested too and they are ID. They confuse the family even more, he he even we are still sruggling telling hm apart. Pics to follow promise

 

I would have taken them to the car and driven home, no toy. And it would have broken my heart, but I don't put up with it. :nea: I think by doing this you are teaching them a lesson...bad behavior is not rewarded. My girls are for the most part pretty good when we go out (even a toy store). The incessent whining and "I want's" drive me bonkers so if they get too bad, we leave.

 

I would like to say that I would have given no toy, but I probably would have. :blush: I do agree with pp regarding the other people. WHO CARES what they think!! It has taken me a long time to get to this point however. We were at the Fair this fall and Lauren was having a fit about something and was laying almost horizontal in the stroller screaming :crazy: I had a man come up to me and asked why I couldn't control my child. I almost got arrested for assaulting an old man! :laughing: