Leaving twins with Grandparents

Hello,
I have twin girls who are almost 11 months. These are my only kids. I wanted to see if I could get some advice from other twins mothers. We are currently living with my parents at the moment. My husband and I have been planning a vacation by ourselves to NYC this Wednesday without the girls. So we will be gone from Wednesday-Tuesday. Since we leave with my parents and they are consistently helping us with the out the girls. I have asked my mother in-law and father in-law to help out with the girls for the time we are gone. My mother in-law wants to take the girls from Friday to Monday for the holiday weekend to give my parents a break. As the labor day weekend approaches my mother in-law has come by once a week for the past three weeks to get their routine down and get to know the girls a little more. Before all this she did not come down to often nor have the girls been to her house in a long time.(she lives about 2.5 hours away.)

In any case my problem is my family (especially my mom) is super upset that I am considering letting the girls go for the weekend with my mother in-law. She things that the girls will be traumatized with the experience and that I am making a very poor choice as a mother allowing this to happen.

I don't feel like my mother in-law is incapable of taking care of our girls. My husband's family, aunts, uncles and cousins will be there all weekend to play and assist with the girls. My husband thinks that girls will adjust and they are not going to be traumatized. I think my parents can use the break.

Please offer any advice or suggestions. I am feeling like a bad mother for even considering this options.

Thank you

 

I think that if you are comfortable leaving them with your inlaws for a few days, then it's a great solution for everyone. The girls will get the benefit of spending some time with their other grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. and they will all love seeing them. Trust me, the girls will not be traumatized. Babies that age adjust very quickly & it isn't like your MIL is a total stranger. They are totally aware at a young age when someone loves them & they will be just fine with your inlaws. Maybe your mom is just a being a tiny bit possessive, which is totally understandable, but in the long run, she will probably enjoy the break. Twin 11 month olds can be tiring!

Oh, and enjoy your trip!

 

I don't think you are being a bad mom at all. You are taking great steps to make sure that this goes smoothly. It's not like your passing them off to strangers. Is your mom dealing with a little jealousy here? If she is, maybe you need to look at it through her eyes, offer some compassion and see if you can help her out.

In the end, YOUR the mom. YOU make the decisions, and you mom needs to respect that.

 

Sounds like you mother is just being a little stingy. They are your in-laws grandkids too and I don't think that they will be harmed or go without attention at all...Enjoy your trip!!

 

It sounds to me like you are comfortable with this arrangement and I think by all means, let them stay with your in-laws. Your parents will just have to adjust to the fact that this is your decision and you plan to stick by it. Enjoy your trip and I am sure the kids will have a blast with your in-laws!

 

Ditto everyone else! :hug:

 

If you are comfortable with your MIL taking the babies, then do it. My mom feels very close to my babies because she sees them more often and has always been great with babies and also had a baby herself just 13 years ago, unlike my MIL who had her youngest 25 years ago. Not that she thinks my MIL can't take care of the lo's, it's just there is a noticeable difference in the way they do things, their energy level and the baby knowledge they each posssess. Even though I know their methods are different, I know they both love them like crazy and they will be safe and cared for. It sounds like your situation is similiar and that your MIL is making an effort to do things exactly as you want them done while you're gone. So do what you think is right for your babies, you are their mother! And don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing whatever it is you decide to do.

 

I would go with how you feel! I don't think that staying with your IL's is going to traumatize your children if they're being taken care of and you've said you feel confident your IL's are going to take care of them!

A week is a very long time for grandparents to take of two 11 month olds, I think it's a great idea to break it up b/w both sets of grandparents.