learned something new about myself today

so, i've always known i have a bit of a type-a personality, but i don't think i ever really realized how much of a control freak i was before today. i mean, i joke about it, but holy crap! here's the story: DH is a great dad. he loves to play with the girls & spend time with them, but he's also a big procrastinator & tends to be more of a follower than a leader. which is all fine, but has lead to a situation where when we're both home (on the weekends or whatever), i usually end up doing all of the "work" with the girls (changing diapers, cooking their food, serving their food, cleaning up their food, putting down for naps, etc). it was getting really frustrating for me - he would help if i asked, but i was feeling like i shouldn't have to ask - he's their parent too. so we came up with a plan where we would split the weekends - i would be "in charge" one day & he would be "in charge" the other day. whoever is in charge is responsible for all the work side of things & keeping the schedule moving forward. today was his first day in charge and he did GREAT! but, my god! i had to bite my tongue SO MANY times today because i kept wanting to tell him how to do things "right" (i mean my way). i'm actually a little wigged out about how hard it was for me to let go. i'm trying really hard to just remember to be super grateful that he's so willing to be involved & to help out & to not sweat the little things. it really shouldn't be so hard... :blush:

 

Oh, I totally understand. I am the exact same way!

 

I can relate in some ways--I'm not a control freak, but the DH and I are home together all summer. Do you know how many opportunities that gives us to argue with each other about how best to take care of these babies?

You'd think having two people would make things easier, but he's constantly belittling my parenting, and I'm constantly on edge waiting for snide remarks.

 

i totally know that feeling. i'm a class A nit-picker. i can't just be grateful that he's so engaged, i have to fret about whether he's doing things my way (i.e. the "right" way).

 

i'm right there with ya! i have almost bitten my tongue off on some days... but i am grateful that my DH is so involved, he travels a lot so that gives me lots of time to do things the "right" way.. LOL

 

I completely understand!!!

it is really funny that your mentioned this... Me and DH were just having a conversation this past weekend about the same topic, not how it related to babies but the same thing.. about how we kinda try to work it in our marrige...that if somebody doesn't like the way that it is done, like cleaning, or putting stuff a certian way then the other person who wants it to be changed to go back and do it after they are done....

DH got ticked off at me because i "snipped" at him for moving the high chairs while cleaning, away from where i liked them... So yea.. completely understand!!!

 

QUOTE(sullivanre @ Jun 29 2009, 10:20 PM) [snapback]1374831[/snapback]
You'd think having two people would make things easier, but he's constantly belittling my parenting, and I'm constantly on edge waiting for snide remarks.


Man, I'm sorry you're going through this. When things are stressful (like when Nate won't eat), my DH tends to give "suggestions" that are more like "if you just did it this way, things would work better", like I'm some sort of idiot and he knows more about parenting. I've called him on it a few times.

Not to generalize too much, but I think men tend to think in very concrete terms, and look for "solutions" to every problem. Like if you do X you will always get a certain result. Or if you're having a problem, Y is always the cause. I don't think babies are that easy!