Kindergarten at age 5 or 6?

My boys will turn five in August. Technically they could start kindergarten this fall (they just have to be 5 by Sept 1) but I'm worried whether they are too young. They currently attend pre-school twice a week and are doing well but are they ready?!

What did you all do? Are there any pros or cons to keeping them home one more year ? Thanks for reading and sharing.

 

I would definitely talk to your district. Our district is now actively discouraging parents holding back kids. They are opening a district run pre-k program where 4 year olds get first chance at the spots. If there are any spots left, then they'll consider 5 year olds for them. But our district also has no problem holding kids back in either kindergarten or 1st grade. They are trying their best to make sure kids get the right placement. There are several kids I know of that have been held back within the kids' circle of friends.

So, I would talk to your district. They can help you make the best decision for your school and area.

Marissa

 

We did state prek(same school as they are in now). The girls birthday is in oct so we didn't have a choice but they are so far a head of the majority of the class it's crazy. I would have sent them to k last year if I'd have had the choice

 

I was faced with the same dilemma (My kids have a Thanksgiving birthday and the district cut off date was Dec. 1). They were emotionally and verbally behind their peers and I just knew they are not ready for K. I wanted to hold the kids back a year but was told by the district that they would not allow it. So I moved to a different district where the cut off was Oct. 1. It was a drastic measure but I don't regret it at all. In fact, I have heard too many stories of kids who had trouble in school, not just in kindergarten but through all of lower elementary grades, because they started school when they weren't ready yet. My kids did great in K and are doing great in first grade. I was lucky because we were renting and not owning, so we could move easily, and that there was a school district within 10 miles of where we lived with a different birthday cut off date.

I also enrolled them in a pre-k program where most of the kids moved on to the same kindergarten with my kids. I think it helped in their adjustment to K when they were surrounded by alot of familiar faces.

 

September 1st birthday here so I understand your dilemma. You are the only one that can answer your question. I sent my girls after heavy consideration as to whether or not it was the right decision. I relied heavily on the feedback from their PS teachers and kinder screeners.

I have one who's having a few issues, which surprised me, but I'm trying to take a step back and figure out if it's just her, or if it's because of her age.

I have friends in my twins playgroup faced with the same decision. Some sent them, and some held back but for very legitimate reasons.

I definitely don't agree with holding back just for an "advantage". If your child is ready, they might be bored.

Go with what you feel is right for YOUR boys. :good:

 

A&R will be five on August 23rd. I plan on sending them to K on August 27th. I think they're ready. I know that my two would be bored being in pre-K again. I really see no benefit of holding them back a year if they are ready to go. Of course, I was the youngest in my grade by several months (summer cut off, but my mom taught at a private school, so I started K at 4), so I might be a little biased.

But I know that my two can do it, but if for some reason they can't, they can repeat K.

 

My girls turn 6 in March, so they were 5 1/2 before starting kindi, so I wasn't really faced with this decision. But have you checked with your school district at all? Our district offers Y2K, which is kindergarten for those who are old enough to attend, but who may not quite be socially or academically ready for the main curriculum. So they can attend Y2K, and then move on to first grade if they do well and are ready, or move into the standard curriculum kindi classroom the following year. It's not something our district has on their website at all. I never even heard of it until I attended Kindergarten Roundup last year.

 

It is a touch decision. Is it full day or half day, that may play a part in your decision. Another thing to think about is how mature are they? Some kids are academically ready, but not quite ready mature wise or socially. I taught for 10 years and our cut off here is now Sept. 1. But it used to be Dec. 31 and I saw quite a few kids who were academically ready, but because they weren't mature enough were having problems and definitely could have benefited from an extra year before starting K. I also saw some "younger" kids who were ready and did very well. It just depends on each child. Our K is all day here and it's very academic. My oldest is an Oct. bday and she happened to turn 5 when they were transitioning to a Sept 1 cut off (they moved it up a month each year until it was at Sept 1). They year she turned 5 the cut off was Sept. 30 and she missed it by 11 days. I could have fought it or had her tested to go in, but didn't want to since it was all day K. So she started K when she was 5 and turned 6 six weeks into it. For us, it has been a good decision. :good:

But I know the decision is harder to make when your kiddos are before, but close to the cut off. I agree, go with your gut and do what you feel is best for them. How late can you register? I know the schools like early registration, but maybe you can wait as long as you can so you have a good idea what you want to do. Good luck.

 

It depends on the child. I once knew 2 kids with September birthdays, one was ready, the other wasn't. As I watched them both over a 3 year period, the one who wasn't was always a step behind the others, and the one who was ready, you would have never known he was among the youngest in his grade. This past summer I had a boy in my 5/6 camp group who turned 7 in August. From day one, we could tell he should have been in the 7 year old group. Why wasn't he? Because his parents held him back and he was only going into 1st grade. He would have been much happier had he been with the older kids maturity wise.

My advise is to look at your child among their peers. If they fit right in, then they should stay with that group. If a stranger to the group can pick them out as being "out of step" with the rest of the group, they may need the extra year.

 

I agree with Sharon.. it depends on the child. You do not want the child to be bored, but you also want them socially ready. Our twins turned 5 in late July and we sent them. The one we were worried about sending is actually top of his class academically and the other one struggles with math concepts.

 

I'm going to ditto others, it really depends on your kid rather than their age. My oldest dd missed the cutoff by 4 days. However, I simply didn't have time to work with her like I did my oldest, so she wasn't ready academically so holding her back wasn't so hard on us. But now in her second year of preschool, she's raced ahead and would probably be fine starting 1st grade next year instead of kindergarten. She'll start K at age 5 and turn 6 about a week later. But it's a battle I'm not willing to fight with the school. If for some reason she's bored senseless down the road we'll look at having her advanced, but for now, we're going to "follow the rules" and enroll her appropriately.

 

My kids are so ready for K since last Spring but unfortunately our school district goes by Sept 1st cut off date. So they have been in preschool for 3 yrs now and much advanced than their classmates and circle of friends through play dates. I could have fight against the school district on putting them into K for 2011-2012. Also, the bad news is our school district does not offer full day K, tell me about it! Its so frustrating but plan to do some enrichment programs after their half day and then do only 1 sport activity per season.

 

I agree with the 'it depends' answer. Peyton had just turned 5 in August when she started K (last school year). I was nervous, but she did great! I am glad I sent her. What is the worst that can happen? They would have to repeat?

 

It depends not only on your child but on the school. Not all Kindergarten programs are created equally. So certainly talk with your school district and the actual kindergarten teachers if possible before making any decisions.

 

Ditto all the previous posters: totally dependent on your own kiddos and the school.

My kids are mostly thriving in 1st and are 6 y 3 months old yesterday.

Some K kids are the same age in parts of the country (here cut-off is Dec 1st). The issues they *do* have would be there in K or 1st. Here K is 1/2 day and they had covered the material already, K would not have been a good fit. K ages are 4 y 10 months to 6y, though most kiddos are 5.

If we had not moved they would have been in K in another state right now. But, that too may have been a good choice since that a was a high high redshirt age so many kids were 6 upon start of K. It was also a very academic all day program.


** Most areas have a screening or roundup day. I would attend, ask ?s, do a simple eval on readiness, and take it from there.**

 

You should do what you feel will best benefit your boys. If you think they aren't ready, and the school allows for it, then hold them out a year, it is not going to hurt anything if you do. A friend of mine did that with her girl, she has a july birthday and she held her out until she turned 6. She just felt she needed that extra year. I wish I could have started my girls when they were 4, they were so ready then, but my son, I should have kept him out until he was 6 (we ended up holding him back a year anyway).

 

I have to disagree with the comment that it won't hurt to hold them, "just because". I have seen kids who have been held for no reason other then their parent wanted them to be older. Those kids are bored with the other kids, because they are more mature. They are out of step with their peers, and really don't understand why. I had one boy tell me, he needed to "get away from those little 1st graders", and he was also a first grader--held back for legitimate reasons, but by the end of 1st was so much more mature than his peers, it has become a problem. That and the girl who was also held for legitimate special needs issues, was still in college at 22, and was so ready to move on with her life, but felt held back because she was still an undergrad.

If a child needs that extra year, then they should have it. But to hold a child "just because" really isn't fair to the child in the long run.

 

I agree with the others. There is no wrong answer as long as you are doing what is best for YOUR child. I homeschool, but we originally planned to send them to public school. We had them enrolled and they would have actually started K at public school when they were 4 because their birthday is the end of September. They made the cut-off by 10 days. We did start them in K at home at the same time.

Academically, we had already been doing a lot of Kindergarten stuff in preK at home, so they were more than ready. Plus, they were eager to learn! Maturity-wise, they were very good at obeying, sitting still, and not talking when they weren't suppose to. They had to learn this for church from infancy. Socially, they were quite used to playing with older kids at church and could hold their own in a conversation with an adult.

Now, I get funny looks when people ask them if they are in K and they say, "No, we are in 1st grade." But, they are doing great and we are way ahead and even doing some 2nd grade stuff. They are just pretty tiny 1st graders! For my kids, holding them out a year was never a consideration. They would have been bored beyond belief.

 

My oldest will be 4 going into Kindergarten. He turns 5 November 20th.

 

I agree it depends on the kid. I think I would give them a chance in school. My girls were alwasys in a pre school and excelled at Kindergarten.

 

Agree with pp, every child is unique. Since ours were born in March, holding them back was never a consideration for us (they started K at 5, the most common age). But I think if there's any doubt, it's probably better to wait a year than to have them repeat K (and see their peers/friends move on to 1st).

One thing I do disagree with: my BIL held his oldest son back until the last possible day. Born on 9/1, he started K at 7! No good reason was given, only that his wife thinks that "boys usually mature slower than girls". That much slower?! Not. Now the poor boy is 14, very big for his age, looks like he should be in high school (well, he should be) but is only in 7th grade. He'll be nearly 20 when he graduates (I wonder if SIL wants to hold on to her little boy for as long as she can?) Personally, I don't think they've done him any favor. (The daughter, born in June, was allowed to start K at 5. But according to SIL, girls mature so much faster )

But starting K at either 5 or 6 should be just fine!

 

I agree that the parent should decide based on the unique qualities & characteristics of their child. I am an advocate of later entry for my kids. My oldest dd turned 6 in September, a week after she started kindergarten. She was neither visibly different than her classmates - thought she was miles ahead socially & intellectually. The school provided her some individualized instruction & harder work. She has multiple grad degrees & had a smooth,lovely childhhood.

I twins' birthday is June 26....I put them in a private 1/2 day play based K when they were 5, then, like half their class, they went to a full day regular K when they were 6 years 2 mths. They are 7 1/2 & mid-way through 1st grade now. They have always been advanced intellectually & academically and normal socially. I gave them that extra year in "big girl K" because I wanted them to be fully reading before 1st grade, I want them to be almost 19 when they graduate high school, & I believe that childhood is too truncated already....no reason to grow up so fast. Both my girls receive extra attention through the GT program (Gifted & Talented) - their homework is more difficult, they have extra projects during the day, they go on special field trips & they have iPads to work on under teacher supervision. When one of my girls complained her work was too "babyish" I emailed the teacher one time & the learning plan was immediately tweaked & the issue was resolved. I realize my girls have some extra horsepower in learning - but being older than most of their classmates is definitely giving them an advantage. They went to a b-day party last night for a girl in their grade that was turning 7....there was no difference in the play, confidence & social skills of any of the girls..even the ones that are a full year younger than my girls.

I teach in a public school Pre-K....I have one child that turned 5 in September....some will be 4 until next August. There are 4s that are at the top of the class & 5s that cry for Mommy every time they get bumped in line. I have a 4 who knows all her letters & sounds & can copy all the letters....I have a couple that have been 5 almost all year that cannot recognize all the primary colors & basic shapes. Some need to be at home because physically the day exhausts them & they do not handle the stress well- no child should be wrung out by the end of the day.

My take....going to school too early can be detrimental. Going to school later may require some extra effort on the part of the teacher & parents but it is almost always a positive. All kids are "home schooled"....keeping your kids home does not mean a year of no education...it means you can choose what they learn & help guide their development in ways you choose. Lastly, except in extreme cases, no matter what you do the child is going to hit his/her stride & it will work out fine.

 

I think this is a great reason why the actual school matters.

My girls are in 1st (and currently 6 y 3 months- were 5 years and 10 months when school started). They are not prodigies or anything, but the current district we are in could have met their needs in K academically. Our district basically said they would have to fight us if we attempted to place them in Kindergarten since they could not meet their needs in reading (both were reading fluently very young). Our district does not have G&T programming at all. Already both DDs have individualized reading, math,and spelling (as does all the kids- all three are differentiated for every student to some degree. A combo of group instruction and individualized programming). Even in 1st, I am in not very happy with the specific reading instruction (which is little) they are getting but otherwise am very happy with their educational experience (math, writing, science, etc). This is a fairly affluent district that has a lot of resources.

Both DDs *do* both also have special needs due to other things. But in our situation, the school itself made a big choice in waiting or not waiting a year as well as my own kids unique needs. They have been fabulous supporting my DDs special needs as well (which would not have mattered if they were in K or 1st).


Both BellaRissa and I took our own kids, the school in our area (and how it works with kids) and made choices that were best for out kids! There is no right/wrong.

There is no easy answer. If we had not moved this summer--- my kids would have done K in another state due to cut-off dates.

 

We had a similar issue. My twins are born 27 November 2006 and the cut off here is 1 January. They also start Primary Year 1 a year earlier compared to the States. So mine had to go last August when they were 4 years and 8 months. We always knew it could be an issue, but having had them in school since age 2 (and having an older sibling), they were more than ready to move in. They showed interest in maths, writing, reading, etc. They have children who just turned 6 in their class while they turned 5 a month before, but they're doing really well, basically above age appropriate. They're reading, writing paragraphs, and grasping many concepts in maths. The school / teacher has absolutely no concern they are where they are supposed to be. Also there are January in their classes, but teacher have told me that by no means they are the most mature at all. Also a lot of children are bi/multilingual so many learn at their own pace. Once we would go back to (mainland) Europe or the US they would possibly have to repeat a year, but that's better than the other way around, so we'll see how that turns out if time comes. In general I think you should go with the deadlines / cut offs and put your child in the age appropriate class. Holding back may be an option for some if there are serious concerns, and being the youngest in a class should not be a major concern.

 

I had this dilema last year. My twins are July birthdays and the cut off is Sept. 1st.... The smaller twin could have handled K at 5 just fine while his taller twin was not ready. I didn't want to send one and not the other- I can't imagine how one would feel if their twin was a grade ahead- so I held them both back a year. They turned 6 a month before school started and it was the best decision for my boys. They are both doing well- one is excelling and the other is right on track. Many of the kids turned 6 soon after school started so they weren't significantly older than the others and they weren't "babies" either. I've talked to many of my teacher friends and they all agree that this is best esp. for boys...

 

Sorry, but this idea really bugs me. Especially when just last week, a lady, half jokingly, told me not to mention to her son that he was a few weeks older than Jon, since he is in a grade younger. She said, that even in 3rd grade, he is asking why he was left behind his peers--he has a June 2002 birthday and is in 3rd grade. She did hold him because it was agreed at the time he wasn't ready, and her second is going at 5. So she did have real reasons, but just a few years down the road, he is already feeling "older" than his grade level peers and out of place. And for some reason, in the past year, I seem to have come across this more and more often.

 

Agree!

I believe, we need to stop telling ourselves that boys are less mature than girls, and hold them back just because "boys are less mature". Yes, my boy is less mature than his twin sister, but he has some excellent well-developped skills ( but a speech delay at the same time). We need to trust our boys, and give them a chance to show themselves what they really got!

My boy has positively surprised me even though he was only 4 years and 8 months when entering Year 1, he just skipped 6 reading levels, can recognize around 200 sightwords, starts to write short stories, knows his numbers exceptionally well, and trying his best to express himself properly.Have a little faith, boys may surprise you!

 

Not sure whether this was posted before, but it was an interesrting article / discussion in NYT. The second article is actually against delaying.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/fashion/22Cultural.html?pagewanted=all

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html

 

I know mine are only 2 but we get a lot of funny looks when I say I won't redshirt just because of age or size. Mine are born Sept 7 with a cutoff of Sept 30 so they likely will be young if not some of the youngest. I'm ok with that as I figure somebody has to be the youngest. If they truely aren't ready that's one thing, but to hold a kid back who is ready based on age or size seems really arbitrary to me.

 

When ever this discussion comes up, it is always amazing to me what the different area's cuts offs are. I have always lived where the cut off is December 31. So anyone born in that year is in the same grade. I do know that some of the surrounding towns near me have a November cut off. I remember a boy in my girls 3 year old pre-school was a December 30th birthday. They were living with his parents who lived in my school district, but they were going to make sure that what school district they would up living it had a November cut off so he would start K at 5 not 4 turning 5 in December.

 

I have both spectrums in my house. My oldest son was born in Dec and the school year cut off is Sept 30th. He had adjustment issues in 1st because he is kind of bored and his teacher finally worked out a system with him to keep him from having idle time and to keep him focused. The twins are Late July birthday and seem SOOOO much younger than my friend who's son was born in mid-october. I worry whether or not they will be ready for K when they are 5 but right now I can't see making a decision on whether or not to hold them back because there is so much time.

 

The dates are so arbitrary, I don't really understand why people are so strongly opinionated against red-shirting. We held our July 14th birthday DS out because he was 2 weeks shy of the August 1st cut-off date. Why in the world would he feel so much older than his peers who have an August 2nd birthday? He wouldn't. They are 2 weeks apart in age. In the past number of years, out state has had a July 1 cut-off, a June 1 cut-off, and an August 1 cut-off, so clearly some years you are too young to attend Kdg. if you are born anytime after June 1 while other times you are the correct age for Kdg. if you are born any time before August 1? That makes NO sense and it makes even less sense to say people who redshirt just because their kids have a summer birthday are wrong.

My mom taught Kdg. for 40 years, her professional opinion was that kids with summer birthdays were more likely to struggle - either emotionally, socially, and/or academically. More likely, that's it. So, if someone wants to (hopefully) avoid some potential issues with their summer birthday kids by holding them out a year, what is the big deal?

I have 3 boys and I certainly don't feel I'm shortchanging them because I think boys do tend to be more immature than girls. Especially when it comes to the expectations that are now in a kindergarten classroom. Boys tend to be more physically active and kindergarten has become pretty darn academic now.

If you don't want to redshirt your own child, that's fine. But I don't understand why those who choose to redshirt cause such strong feelings in the anti-redshirting crowd.

 

I find this an interesting thread. I wouldn't call myself anti-redshirting, although I had no reason to do so with my twins (it did cross my mind mostly because of an expressive language delay and the fact that education is very academic here and starts a year earlier). My main problem with red-shirting is once somebody starts doing it, it becomes kind of normal and a trend. Cut offs are cut offs and there will always be cut offs; there will always be children who are the oldest and who the youngest, that's life, that's nature, but once you start deferring children it becomes kind of a trend and I am just asking myself ... where do you stop? Who is going to be the youngest in that class?

My children are in a 4-form Primary school with 720 children (6 year levels, 30 children per class). I don't think there are more than 2 or 3 children per year level (I know 1 in my twins' and 2 in my oldest daughter's year group) who were deferred (as we call it here). Most of the children who are a year level below are there because of special or leaning needs, or because of overseas moves from different school systems where the cut off is not 1 January but 1 September or something similar, and otherwise they would basically skip a grade).

Once you start, it seems so hard to stop that cycle, but that's just me. Hope that makes sense.

 

I am in favor of parents taking in all the information about the school & their child....then deciding for their child what is best. I support every parent's choice in school start age....but I wanted to ask...so what if red-shirting became a trend? What would be the down side of kids starting school later & going to college later? I actually support my kids starting college at 19 instead of 18....they have had another year to grow & mature before being on their own if they go away to school. Bottom line....neither choice is a bad thing, it just is a matter of personal preference for your family.

 

About the boys comment... academically, my son is so much more advanced than my daughter. Socially, they are about the same, with her having a slight lead. They are a late July birthday. I have a mid August birthday and so we were two of the youngest students in our class. Through facebook, I learned that a classmate is a whole 1.5 years older than us. Wow!