kinda made me think

yesterday while out with the boys a lady came up to me and polietly said"mama can i ask u a please?" since she was nice about it i stopped and said sure what is it? she said..... i know u love all of your children the same but...... out of your twins is there 1 u seem to bond with more?" i kinda laughed to myslef and thought should i answer this..... so i did... i said" accually it seems that i bond with caden more than caleb for what reason im not sure" she says well was caden baby b when they were born?" i said yes how did u know? she goes on to tell me that she is a mother of 3 sets of twins and that she always bonds with baby b more b/c while in the womb they are closer to your heart. kinda made me think.. so do any of u bond with 1 baby more that the other? and if so which 1?
dont get me wrong i love them all the same but i do bond with caden more which was baby b!

 

Odd question a stranger asked you!

I kinda have the same bond with them... but definitely not the same bond I have with my oldest. Maybe it's because he is a singleton and I had a lot more time to devote to him than I do for the twins.

 

From my first set, I'm closer to baby b, but from my second set I'd say baby a. I think it has more to do with personality than anything. Keegan (baby B) is alot like me, he's quiet and likes to read and draw. Cam (baby a) is (so far) the strong, silent type.

My other 2 are more rowdy and like wrestling and sports, so DH has more in common with them.

I love all of them as much as the next, I just don't interact with them the same way.

 

It's really weird for me, there are weeks that I feel closer to the one, and then everything changes and I feel closer to the other. I am happy about this, because my biggest fear is that I would prefer one over the other.

 

Very interesting question. Like Sarah I think I have the strongest bond with my oldest (singleton) b/c he had all my attention. I'd like to think I'm equally close with both twins but if I'm honest, my Ryan (B!) tugs at my heart a little more. He has a couple minor health issues, so maybe I'm more protective of him. But maybe it's the 'b' phenomenon!

 

I am closer to our son - baby B. DH and I always laugh and say it is because he is a mommy's boy and Shelby is a daddy's girl. Mayson has also had more health issues, so maybe that is the reason.

 

When they were first born..I was drawn to Baby B (Max) because he was 4lbs 14oz born and so tiny and his sister was 6lbs 5oz. He just seemed to need me more at the beginning. Now though I don't feel I'm closer to one more than the other...I spent equal amounts of time with them...of course though some days one might need me more than the other if sick or teething or just because!

 

I do not favor one over the other. They each have equally unique characteristics that make them funny and loving.

 

i think some may read this post and look like im saying i love caden more than i love caleb and that is NOT what im saying at all . im just stating i bond with caden more than caleb. but caleb is my little peanut and i love him just as much but bonding wise i bond more with caden. i would say i have a bigger bond with my singelton b/c of the same reason all of u stated. but twim wise mine is baby b. and from those of u that said u bond with one twin more the mojority said baby b just like the lady said. this is kinda wierd lol is that really possible that b/c they were closer to your heart while in the womb that this could be why?!!!! if u ladies dont hear from me for a while its b/c im doing my reasearch on this topic so i can write a book lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll im playing but hey i wouldnt be broke than :lol:

 

QUOTE(ems9882 @ May 31 2007, 01:39 PM) [snapback]274195[/snapback]
i think some may read this post and look like im saying i love caden more than i love caleb and that is NOT what im saying at all .



I don't think that at all. Having 5 kids, I can say as a mother that I love them all more than anything else in the world & they all have their special personality traits that make me love them even more. That being said, you don't necessarily love them all the "same", equally but not the same. Those same personality traits that make them special make our love for each of them special as well.

As for the twins, I think I am closer to Luke (baby b ) because he is my snuggler & seems to need me to hold him more. Lila (baby a) is always on the go, she doesn't seem to need as much snuggle time. I have to be happy snuggling with her first thing in the morning & last thing at night, when she is tired. But I love her for that independence! They are both as precious as they can be! :wub:

 

I'd say I am more bonded with my a. But it's more a result of circumstances surrounding their first month of life. Which will you bond with more? The healthy alert baby you can breast feed or the critically sick baby hooked up to wires and monitors that can't even be touched?

 

I love my kids equally, but love them all differently. I don't really feel more bonded to any of my kids more except for Dave. He was my boy for 4 years before he had to share me. Plus, he can talk to me about things. I spend more time with Sean than James because Sean is my snuggler but I play with James a lot too. Emma is an absolute sweetheart but she's going through the terrible two's. 8P

 

I love them all the same, but as far as the twins - I now I have bonded more with baby A more than baby B. I don't know if it is because Baby B had NICU time or if it is because baby B is more demanding and stubborn!

 

First, I'm boggling at the idea of having 3 sets of twins...

But yes, I do feel more bonded with Amy and she is my baby B! How funny. Amy is a little more emotionally needy than Sarah and is more of a mommy's girl at the moment, which (although it drives me crazy sometimes) also makes me feel a little closer to her. She's always climbing on me and wanting me to read to her, etc., whereas Sarah does her own thing a bit more. However, when they were tiny babies, I felt closer to Sarah at times, because she was a more snuggly infant.

 

In the early months it went back and forth. I guess it depended on which baby was less maintance at the time since they both had their difficlt times! Now it is completely equal. I am so glad because at the beginning, I felt sad if I was bonding with one more than the other.

 

It changes for me. After they were born, I bonded more with Baby A just because I had more time with him alone while his brother was in the NICU. Once Baby B came home, it took awhile for me to bond with him, I think because he was markedly fussier than A and I had a lot of BF/latching issues with him. Lately, I feel more bonded with B because he is such a snugglebug and loves to be held by me, and is definately a little mommy's boy, while A is such a "mover and shaker" (as we call it!) and more indedpendent that he doesn't like to sit still long enough to be held and cuddled! That being said, I'm very bonded to both and love them both SO, SO much. I'm guessing its all pretty normal to go back and forth like that.

 

I have a little bit better of a bond with Geneva (baby a) than I do Gretchyn (baby b ). I think the reason is because I didn't get to know Gretchyn as well in the beginning. I didn't get to *meet* her until the girls were 4 days old. Gretchyn had a lot more health problems right away and I was afraid to touch her for the longest time. But I got to cuddle with Geneva a lot in the beginning. DH has a better bond with Gretchyn than Geneva. He says he thinks it's that way because of all the problems Gretchyn had and the fact that we almost lost her. Geneva tends to favor me over DH and Gretchyn favors DH over me. I'm sure it will change as we go down the road but for now that is how it is. Like others have said I love my children all equally but differently as well.

 

I feel more bonded to whomever isn't screaming at the moment

Sadly for the twins, I felt I was more bonded to my first. I was less stressed and plus I think there is always a special place in your heart for the child who made you a mother. Don't get me wrong, I love them all equally and I would totally beat down my first if he were abusive to the twins in anyway. With your first you kind of grow up together in a way. You're becoming a parent and they are growing, too. That's special.

 

In our family I've been a little more bonded to Melissa largely because dh and Jade were so bonded. If he's around she generally wanted nothing to do with me -- so it was me and Melissa and Jade and Daddy. Until recently. Now they both want just ME! And I'm feeling newly bonded to Jade. I've always loved her of course, but Melissa was the one who always wanted me. Also, Melissa has always been more verbal and communicative, while Jade is a wanderer.

 

Mine switch back and forth. It really depends on who is being the good kid this month

That's cute about Baby B being closer to your heart.

 

Of the two, I'd say that I am probably more bonded with David (baby A) but I agree with PP, that's more a result of personality. We call him McFlirty and for good reason, he's all smiles! Also, he was in the hospital when he was 7 weeks old for a few days, so he and I had lots of time to bond (I stayed with him).

William (baby B) is my fussy boy, so it's been harder to bond with him. He's smiling more now, so it's getting easier....

Also agree with the PP who said " kinda have the same bond with them... but definitely not the same bond I have with my oldest" The bond I have with DD is stronger than any bond I have with anyone, ever. She is absolutely the light of my life.

 

It's definately an interesting question. I like the statement "I love them all equally but not the same". I totally agree with that! I think of the twins I probably more bonded to baby A -Chloe and sort of for some of the reasons others have given. She was born with a cleft lip and had to have that repaired at a young age so seemed to 'need' me more. That being said baby B - Ben is my more needy baby, a great smiler but less outgoing than his sister and likes to cuddle more. So who knows why. Of course I think the bond was stonger with my first one as she was the only one. Now she's 3 and thank goodness the bond is strong or I would have sold her by now!

 

QUOTE(SharonH @ Jun 3 2007, 05:56 PM) [snapback]277992[/snapback]
Of course I think the bond was stonger with my first one as she was the only one. Now she's 3 and thank goodness the bond is strong or I would have sold her by now!


I completely agree with all of that!