Kind of a small rant

I went to a local consignment shop today to get rid of some things and was a little bugged by the woman working there. I don't go there frequently, but I've been there enough times since I was pg with DS that the woman knows me and LOVES to talk a lot. Now that she knows we're having twins, she kept commenting on how we KNOW we're going to have preemies, right? They won't possibly go full term and will likely be 3 or 4 lbs. Now, in my head I know she's just ignorant, but it really got to my core how she tried to drill it in and point me to the TONS of preemie clothes that are on the rack since a mom brought them in yesterday. Granted, I am thrilled that she has preemie clothes bc even DD wore them very briefly and she was full term at 38wks and 6lbs 1.2oz. I know there's a chance that we'll need them and I know how hard they are to find for a reasonable price, but I still would like to hold on to the hope that these babies will be born full term and at full term wts.

I realize I'm being overly sensitive about this and that it's really not THAT big of a deal, but it's really weighing on me. Why can't ppl just keep their mouths closed sometimes? Oh, and identical means that we will not "get lucky" as you say and have one of each gender!!! I'm just really bugged. Thanks for listening.

 

I totally relate to you girl! I find people just say things without having a clue. I've had many comments and stupid questions already and I'm only 13 weeks along...I can't wait to hear what else is coming....I'm trying to be patient and just smile and nod and not let it bother me....even tho right now it does. Maybe over time we will shrug it off.

 

I love all the advice that non-twin mommies have for me....and even better than the advice is the comments....'you look huge, you look small' 'I am glad its you not me' yada yada... it didn't use to bother me much, but as I get further along and maybe more hormonal, it makes me want to hit people sometimes....

 

QUOTE(tundrababy @ Dec 20 2008, 11:04 PM) [snapback]1117996[/snapback]
I love all the advice that non-twin mommies have for me....and even better than the advice is the comments....'you look huge, you look small' 'I am glad its you not me' yada yada... it didn't use to bother me much, but as I get further along and maybe more hormonal, it makes me want to hit people sometimes....


Totally agree with this. Or when non-twin mommies say, "Oh you'll have so much fun with twins!" or try to make it sound really easy b/c they want twins and think they're fun or cute, or lately someone told my sister that I would probably go late even w/twins since it's my first pregnancy. Or someone else replied to my mention (on Facebook) that baby B was still breech by saying, "Oh but I've heard that often the second twin will turn and go head-down after the first so I'm sure your delivery will go smoothly." Ya don't say ...

So yeah, Waterguzzler, that would've annoyed me, too. It's just frustrating when people think they're knowledgeable and really don't know what they're talking about--esp when they keep talking, and especially when they try to either overemphasize or totally gloss over the challenges of having twins.

 

Thanks for chiming in, ladies I'm sure I've probably made comments that were irritating before I walked in these shoes. Actually, I'm sure I still do it without being aware. I'll have to work on it, too, I suppose. :unsure:

 

I totally know this feeling too. I think we all know the risk and hope for the best. I had a new lady at work mention that she heard I was having twins. Then she told me how early her twin grandbabies were and all of their problems. My feeling is unless your story is positive keep it to yourself.
On a side note if they need preemie clothes go to Walmart. I found the best selection and prices there. My daughter needed them for the first few weeks.

 

QUOTE(tpowers @ Dec 21 2008, 12:33 AM) [snapback]1118033[/snapback]
I totally know this feeling too. I think we all know the risk and hope for the best. I had a new lady at work mention that she heard I was having twins. Then she told me how early her twin grandbabies were and all of their problems. My feeling is unless your story is positive keep it to yourself.
On a side note if they need preemie clothes go to Walmart. I found the best selection and prices there. My daughter needed them for the first few weeks.


Yes, thank goodness for Walmart. BRU has a selection, too, but I'm pretty frugal so I wouldn't get too much there. Those are the only two places I know of, though.

 

That lady should keep her mouth shut, how rude! Would she say that to a Mom expecting one? Maybe she thought she was being helpful or something, but it's not something you want to hear!

 

I think there must be some hormone pregnant women release which encourages people (men and women) to tell them scary, rude or ignorant things about childbirth. I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest, that this woman told me this awful experience (I honestly don't remember if it was about her, or someone she knew), that was totally horrifying and WAY TMI! When I was pregnant with my twins, people said things like that woman did to you, all the time. It didn't help that the only person I knew personally who had twins, had had very small preemies. Yes, lots of twins are preemies. But lots aren't. There are tons of people on this board who went 37+ weeks with their twins. I would say it doesn't hurt to be prepared with an outfit or two for each baby that's a preemie one. Even my babies that were close to 8lbs, were kind of scrawny at birth and were sort of drowned by NB clothes for the first week or so, so you'll probably get to use them a little one way or the other. But don't let some random woman who really doesn't know what she's talking about, scare you!

 

QUOTE(Dielle @ Dec 21 2008, 08:48 PM) [snapback]1118558[/snapback]
I think there must be some hormone pregnant women release which encourages people (men and women) to tell them scary, rude or ignorant things about childbirth. I remember when I was pregnant with my oldest, that this woman told me this awful experience (I honestly don't remember if it was about her, or someone she knew), that was totally horrifying and WAY TMI! When I was pregnant with my twins, people said things like that woman did to you, all the time. It didn't help that the only person I knew personally who had twins, had had very small preemies. Yes, lots of twins are preemies. But lots aren't. There are tons of people on this board who went 37+ weeks with their twins. I would say it doesn't hurt to be prepared with an outfit or two for each baby that's a preemie one. Even my babies that were close to 8lbs, were kind of scrawny at birth and were sort of drowned by NB clothes for the first week or so, so you'll probably get to use them a little one way or the other. But don't let some random woman who really doesn't know what she's talking about, scare you!


I know, you're right. I do blame some of my hormones for this, but I'm not going to ignore the ignorance of stupid people either :lol: I do have my SIL to make me feel better. She delivered her twins full term at ~7lbs apiece. I'm only buying preemie outfits for the reason you said. My DS was 8 1/2lbs and he could have at least worn newborn home rather than the 0-3 I bought.

 

Oh my goodness! As if a total stranger knows how one's pregnancy will progress. Sheeesh. I haven't had to deal with anyone's rude and plain unnecessary comments yet as I'm still pretty early, but mercy, I can see it coming and I guess it will be a big long lesson in staying cool. I already get irritated when I read about stupid comments y'all endure. :wacko: I agree....if you can't say something positive, keep your doggone trap closed, and don't be a know-it-all! Grrrrrrr.

I guess as with most irritating things in life, just smile and nod and get the heck outta there as soon as humanly possible!!!

 

Ugh...how annoying...I'm not sure if it is pregnancy that brings it out in people, or if they are more apt to opening their mouths when they find out you are having twins. These are my first, so I'm not sure if it is the pregnancy or twins. I work at a bank, so obviously I see a lot of people everyday. Some of our customers know me rather well and have been very nice about me being pregnant and asking how I am feeling. Other people, you wonder about them. If I say I'm having twins some people have actually asked if I was "on something" to get twins. Now mine are identical, so that was splitting egg, not two seperate eggs. I was not on any fertility treatments. I know there are a lot of women on this board that were/are to get pregnant. I really don't see how that is someone's business on way or another. One person knows I'm having twins and has a sister with 2 sets of twins...he thinks this makes him an expert. And I loved how one day he, yes a man, tried giving me advice on breasfeeding! I swear, I feel your pain, understand it, and just don't get people!!

 

tell her that you plan on going to at least 37weeks & if you do have them before than that your spouse is more than capable of getting preemie cloths, but thanks for sharing your thought, we had to do the same thing, now when we go into our second hand store, they smile say hi ask how things are going and the odd time tell me if there a larger shirt that might work tell i deliver.
i enjoy going in there now,

 

QUOTE(WaterGuzzler @ Dec 20 2008, 07:35 PM) [snapback]1117853[/snapback]
I went to a local consignment shop today to get rid of some things and was a little bugged by the woman working there. I don't go there frequently, but I've been there enough times since I was pg with DS that the woman knows me and LOVES to talk a lot. Now that she knows we're having twins, she kept commenting on how we KNOW we're going to have preemies, right? They won't possibly go full term and will likely be 3 or 4 lbs. Now, in my head I know she's just ignorant, but it really got to my core how she tried to drill it in and point me to the TONS of preemie clothes that are on the rack since a mom brought them in yesterday. Granted, I am thrilled that she has preemie clothes bc even DD wore them very briefly and she was full term at 38wks and 6lbs 1.2oz. I know there's a chance that we'll need them and I know how hard they are to find for a reasonable price, but I still would like to hold on to the hope that these babies will be born full term and at full term wts.

I realize I'm being overly sensitive about this and that it's really not THAT big of a deal, but it's really weighing on me. Why can't ppl just keep their mouths closed sometimes? Oh, and identical means that we will not "get lucky" as you say and have one of each gender!!! I'm just really bugged. Thanks for listening.



Yeah I have had the preemie lecture from many people. Well if they are they are if they arent they arent! We have some clothes that are preemie cuz my BF niece was early! We did register for a few things! People just seem to love to offer their opinons!

 

How nice that she has time to work in a shop when she's obviously so busy with her medical career My OB told me at 29 weeks that mine were coming any minute. I ended up being induced at 37 weeks. So even the experts don't always know what's going to happen.