kids developing differently

Does anyone feel that their friends kids that are singletons are more advanced because they get more one on one time. My friend has a daughter that is only a few days younger than my sons and she is so much more advanced. For instance she started walking at 9 months which I know is early and at 12 months mine are just starting to take a few steps where as she is practically running. I can't help but think it is because she never used walker, jumperoos or exersaucers whereas I felt I was always throwing one of them in there so I could go to the bathroom. I know every child develops differently and girls are typically faster than boys but I just feel like she is way more advanced them my two. She always says to me that she gets everything she needs to done why her kid is sleeping and doesn't see why other parents can't do the same and time awake is all about being engaged with her daughter. He daughter follows her around and is involved in everything she does. I feel like with two I just can't devote that attention like bringing them both with me to get the laundry and explaining to them what I am doing as I put each piece away. I feel like I am always bringing my kids from room to room, but I have to have them confined in something like the superyard pack n play or I am going in two different directions and I feel like she is always looking at me because my kids always have to be confined in something baby proof while i am trying to get things done. I mean I do give them time out to explore but I just can't do it 24/7 like she can or else I am going in two different directions. I don't want to start a whole debate on singleton moms vs moms of multiple children but I feel like the amount of time you can dote over one child as opposed to two might be contributing to how much more advanced she is. She is always like oh my daughter did that a few months ago they are just doing that now bla bla urr. However I feel like my kids are more advanced socially and can entertain themselves while I get stuff done where as she needs constant attention from her mom so I guess each has its advantages

 

I have a very similar situation. My friends little girls was suppose to be born two weeks after my boys but since my boys were early they are 2 and half months older than her girl. Her girl has been walking since nine months to and mine still aren't walking. Your right though mine are able to play nice with themselves and aren't so darn clingy, they go to bed really well and are easy to entertain. Her little girl on the other hand is so clingy that she can't do anything without her, she's attached to her hip because she cries otherwise, she doesn't sleep well and is up half the night and she wont play by herself. Given a choice I would choose mine over hers any day!
I think that there are ups and downs with everyone and personally I know I don't have the time to devote to my three as she does to her one but that is okay and she wont have the same time to devote once she has more kids either. You just make the best of what you can and who cares if someones kids are ahead of yours, I have learned with prems that they do eventually catch up and I for one am glad that my boys can't walk yet because once they do things will be changing around here again.

 

The bolded is an important part to remember. Everyone's kids and situations are different. Just by nature, she has one child to focus all of her attention on, so she can do these things. Your reality is not like that...as a mother of more then one child, your attention is going to be divided. It could just be that her daughter is an early walker and has nothing to due with her parenting skills. My friends who all have singletons, all of their kids hit milestones at different ages. Just with my twosome, they have hit milestones at different ages. You are doing good job Momma :hug:

 

:hug: i know the feeling. i think all mothers do! there's always somebody's kid who's ahead of yours. conversely, your kids will always be ahead of somebody else's, KWIM? i think it sounds like you're doing a great job - and if your friend gives you the stink eye for "confining" your children, you give her the stink right back. she hasn't walked a mile in your shoes. :hug:

 

I feel the same way as you do sometimes bc my nephew is 3wks younger than my boys! However I do want to say that he never really used a jumper/exersaucer or walker and one of my boys walked almost a month before my nephew did!
Maybe your friend should swap babies for a day? :laughing:

 

i feel the same way. i'd love to spend all my time with my girls teaching them colors, numbers, drawing, and just reading to them, but i cant hold them both down long enough to do that stuff. they're always up and running. it's not like just one kid where they 'seem' calmer and you can hold them in your lap and do that stuff. for that reason, i feel like my girls will learn that stuff later than normal, but i'm sure they'll catch up at some point. i'm not concerned about major learning delays, just enough to make me stress!

eta- p.s. think about all of the advanced social skills our kids will have =)

 

I have two singletons and twins. One of my singletons and one of my twins hit milestones early, and the other two did not. Didn't matter whether it was a singleton or a twin, they just came out that way. The twins were much better at sharing early on, though. Don't beat yourself up. Every child does some things earlier than others, it just varies what it is. By the time they're in Kindergarten, no one can really tell who did what early.