Keep together or separate in school?

Hi,
My girls just turned 6 and are going into 1st grade. I debated about keeping them back in Kindergarten again because of them being the youngest in the class, because they were getting by, but not at the top of their class, and because I still feel like they are a little immature emotionally/socially. At this moment they will go on to 1st after discussing it with several teachers and having them tested by a teacher at another school.
They were together in PreK-3, separated in PreK-4 at the same school and then put back together again when they moved into K at a big, new public school. They are staying at the same school next year and the plan is to put them in different classes, but I am not 100% sure. I am looking for opinions. They want to be in the same class again. They did have their own friends and did not sit together at lunch, just think they liked knowing the other was there.

Any opinions would be appreciated!


Thanks,
Michelle

 

I think this is one where is it really such an individual choice. I felt like my kids truly needed to be in the same class for kinder. They were, and they did well. I truly feel like the kids need to be separate for first. We'll see how that choice works.

For every set that thrived together, you'll have a horror story. For every set that thrived being apart, you'll have a different set of horror stories. I know that when I told the kids' swimming teacher I was separating for first grade, she told me about her twins. They separated for first grade and both of the kids (b/g twins) did so poorly they had to repeat first grade and thrived from being in the same class the second time through. I could tell she didn't think much of me separating.

I would just try to have a very clear reason. I would listen to what the teacher recommend. I would listen to my gut. I would listen to the girls. And I would try to come up with a plan to fit the needs of the girls.

Mine aren't exactly thrilled about being separated. But they'll get to see each other twice during the day for recess. And they are okay with that. Just because they are in separate classes doesn't mean they can't interact.

Marissa

 

The way our school works, if I separated them, the kids might only see each other during a 30-minute lunch break when they would be seated apart (recesses are staggered to make the small playground less crowded so there are only 2 of 4 classes of kindergarten kids out there at a time). I couldn't imagine going from seeing a best buddy all day every day to not being allowed to interact at all for 7 hours per day, 5 days per week. That's a very long time for a small child and a big portion of their waking hours. And, I feared that this would affect their opinion of school -- they might not want to go once they realized they would be apart so much.

So far, having them together has not been a problem. They love school and have adjusted quickly to the new routine. Their teacher seated them so they could see each other but not right next to each other where there would be temptation to chit-chat. There haven't been any issues at all with either of them being dependent and they don't always choose the same playtime activity so they're playing with other kids.

I'll be leaving them together until/unless there is a compelling reason to separate.

ETA: I honestly believe that the best opinion on the subject is your own. If I listened to the majority, my kids wouldn't be in school at all. I put them in because I believed they could do it and they're doing GREAT!

 

OUr two were in the same for kindy, at the same table even, but they have/had some of the same friends but were "better" friends with different children. My two are very different, sometimes cometitive but it did not seem to be an issues having them together for us. So, we decided to continue with that this year. Although the teacher divided them into two color groups for activities (that stay that way unless needed to be changed through the year) I think I will talk to her about putting them in different groups. Just to give them some space.
they also split up for math and reading so, who knows. I just did not want to split them JUST because they are siblings and their could be an issue when there hasn't been up to this point.

Trust you instinct. You will always second guess it but it normally will be right.

 

Marissa I agree with you on individual choice. Our girls really get on each others nerves sometimes and "feed" off of each other's melt downs, etc. We just put them in separate rooms a month ago to give them some "space" and they are really loving it. They've been together for pk3 & pk4 and we are going to separate for K. Their pk teacher agrees with this and their speech teacher too, they both really thought they needed to be separated and would have really tried to talk us into separating if we wanted to keep them together. They are both outgoing, but Brooke is more shy than Natalie, so the complaints about separating are coming from Brooke but I really think they'll be fine. The school we are sending them to has 2 full day K classes and they told us that they interact the classes at various times so they'll be able to see each other during the day. They'll also be in "extended day" after school for about an hour and will be together then.

Kim

 

My boys NEED to be apart ... at home they are pretty much inseparable .. and I wanted them to be able to act as individuals instead of a team like they do at home. Seriously they even sit in the same chair for dinner and will share a plate of food. Being apart was the best decision for my guys .. but might not be for every set of twins. Just don't second guess yourself and go with your gut instinct !

Besides if it doesn't work out one way or another .. I'm sure the school will work with you to work it out .. I know ours did.

 

We separated at Kinder (mine have a late bday and were over 5.5 when they started K). However, the way they do it here is to put twins in rooms that adjoin at the restroom, so they see each other for centers, and they are in the same reading group. Sometimes they see each other on the playground at recess, but not always. They have thrived this way, and I know they were happier apart. "Apart" here doesn't mean never seeing each other, though. I would look into exactly how the school handles twins in different classes.

 

Thanks for the input. I think I am going to try separating them and just see how it goes. If it becomes a huge problem, I am sure the school will allow me to put them together again!