just getting off my chest

Ok so I REALLy need someone to vent to and I no there has to be some single moms out there, somewhere...my situation is geeting outta control. My boys are 2 and a half. I work part time 3-4 days a week for LoNG hours usually 10-12 hour days. My ex and I share the boys 50/50 so I am lucky on that part that the days I work he has them except for fri. Now I share a 3 bed 2 bath duplex with my sister, her partner who just moved in and my nephews who's here everyother week for a whole week. I'm going thru extremly tough time financially and the options seem to be running out. I make too much to qualify for low income housing, wic and other such services and I live in one of the most expensive areas of the country, cali bay area. My parents are all outta state. So main and biggest problem is my sister and the way I am with my boys. I'm at the point of that I am daily yelling and screamming at them I have tried timeouts, taking things away, ignoring and such. Its so hard bc I only have so much time to get errands done, do laundry, cook and clean. All of which I do myself. My sister is on disability, has been for over a year and is always home. She barely leaves her room "says it bc of me and doesn't want to be around me". That's fine w/e. But now since there are times more now than ever where I am loosing it, yes I do "spank" my kids, usually their hands when I feel there's no other option. I feel bad of corse. But my sister has to come outta her room and start telling me I'm a bad person, she's documenting everything for cps, they'd be better of with their dad and that I'm victimizing myself. I'm sleep deprived, like most of you. I'm stressed beyond belief, and I feel that I can't do it anymore. I've been going nonstop for the last 2.5+ years. I'm tired of living in these conditions and I'm tired of not being able to enjoy my kids as much as I should be doing. When I'm not doing chores and such and I can hang out and play with them they're preety easy, but I can't do that all the time. Thanks for leeting me vent, I do appreciate it.

 

:hug: Just out of curiosity, why is your sister living with you? Is she sharing rent, or are you just helping her out?

 

:hug: I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I don't have any great advice, but I hope there might be some other single parents here who do. :hug:

 

I'm not a single parent but my dh is away often and I have a whole new respect for single moms that I never had before. My two went through a difficult time at 2.5 yrs and while it was about 6 weeks it did finally get better. I hope your phase with them is short. I don't have any answers just a hug :hug: :hug: I hope you find some options soon.

Heather

 

DH is deployed so I am single for 13 months. Sounds like you really need a break. I would talk to your sister and explain how stressed and tired you are. Could your sister or her partner help out with the kids for a couple of hours? Would your ex be willing to take on more? How about a Mother's helper? They run about $4/hour in MD. It would give you an opportunity to gets some things done around the house or take a nap . The biggest thing I have learned is to let some things slide. It does not matter if the house is a mess as long as the kids are clean/dry and happy. We had pancakes for dinner...

 

Talking to your sister is at least worth a try. Tell her she is right, that your are loosing it and that you need help. The boys need their auntie and you need her (your family). Talk about a possible schedule where she can watch them a couple of hours a week.
I live in the same area so I know there is no other option if you are a single mother other than taking in roommates.
My mothers helper was $8-$10 an hour and I found her on care.com.
My mother was single and I do remember a lot of yelling and a lot of stress. So its great that you realize you're in a rough spot so you can now try and come up with some solutions. GL