Just don't have time to "soothe" the baby to sleep

I really want to develop "healthy" sleep habits with this baby, and I can easily recognize the drowsy signs from my DS after he has been up for 1-2 hours, the trouble is I don't have time to "soothe" him to sleep as all the sleep books recommend.

He cant' really fall asleep anymore downstairs where it is bright and the girls are running around, yelling, and always near us/him. But I can't trust the girls alone downstairs for more than 5-10 minutes, and he can't be "soothed" in that amount of time, so I usually end up coming down frustrated with a baby still awake.

So basically, if he doesn't fall asleep with my meager attempts or fall asleep on his own (which he cant' really do at 7 weeks), then he just ends up staying awake and getting overtired and making it even harder to fall asleep, which is this awful cycle.

He won't sleep in a sling, and I feel like the kid is going to grow up thinking that the swing is the only one who loves him because the swing is the only one who has time to cuddle him...

what can I do? I feel so guilty over this...

 

We never soothed the kids to sleep. For us a pacifier and a swaddling blanket usually worked... or we used the bouncer or swing.

 

My suggestion, while you still have the opportunity at that early age, is to try and take the previous posters technique and give it a try. I have a 5 month old baby who is our new member of the family after twins. I missed the boat with her and a pacifier, etc.. she wont take it now because she is too old. I wish I had used a pacifier and just put her down to sleep. I soothed her to sleep and nursed her to sleep so now she is conditioned to only want that and it only gets harder as they get older.

I know it may not seem natural to do so, but from what I hear, you can actually just put a baby down to fall asleep on their own when you catch them at the right time and make sure they are comfortable. As I said, I missed the boat.

 

As the pp mentioned I used a pacifier with Hannah and we are currently ending our first week of taking it away from her. She's done great! I couldn't always soothe her to sleep either so I would lay her down with a pacifier and a blanket and let her be. I don't like pacifiers and wanted her to be able to soothe herself without and I found this age to be appropriate. Like I said, she's done great! Good luck, I know how tough it is!! :hug:

 

Mine wouldn't take a pacifier, but I tried since I knew it was going to be hard with two toddlers getting into EVERYTHING the minute I walked upstairs so if that's an option, go for it. I used a sling for a long time (still do once in a while on a rough day!) and would actually nurse her while she was in the sling until she fell asleep and could be put down, but as she got older I tried to lay her down when she was really drowsy from nursing but still a little bit awake so she's get used to falling asleep in the crib. If the swing is working for now, I'd stick with it until he's a little older and then maybe start slowly transitioning him - even if you have to let him get nice and sleepy in the swing before moving him to the crib. For me, it was more important to let the baby get enough naps so that she was happy than to worry about the consequences later. I think most "bad" habits (nursing to sleep. falling asleep in a swing, etc.) can be broken in about 3 days once they get closer to 5 or 6 months so IMO it's best just to make sure everyone is getting some sleep! GL!

 

Yeah I have NO idea how you do it. I can't even imagine what my two would get into while I take care of a baby! Kudos!!!

 

Thanks for the replies! We do use a paci, he is one who likes to spit it out every few minutes, and even if he is alseep in my arms in the rocking chair and then I lay him down in the co-sleeper and tip toe down stairs, then 2 minutes later I hear him fussing and eventually crying...

I hate to have him take every nap, all day long in the swing, it doesn't seem right.

 

Honestly, I used to lock my 2 in their playroom long enough for me to get the baby down. OR I would put on a show I knew they would watch long enough for me to get her to sleep.
Pulling out a new activity for them to do (something they don't get to do often) when I needed to go put her to bed usually made things go smoothly.

You'll develop a routine...give it some time!

 

None of my kids ever took a pacifier. At this age, if I were you, I would be okay with the baby napping in the swing or whatever it takes to get him to sleep. Then, at a later age, I did CIO with my kids & they learned to get themselves to sleep that way. I will say, with my 3rd, having 2 young ones running around plus getting one of them to preschool & back 3 days a week, Tess didn't really ever have a regular nap time. She napped in the car or wherever else worked whenever I could get her to sleep for a few minutes. It was frustrating at the time, but she turned out to be a great sleeper in the long run & is the one kid I have who now knows when she is tired & needs to go to bed, and she will. I never have to tell her it is bedtime & to go to bed. So, in the end, it all turned out fine. Hang in there! :hug:

 

What worked for me when I had twin 3 year olds and a newborn... was putting him down awake as suggested at birth. There was no way I could rock him with the twins needing attention. :hug: Good luck.

 

my twins were 17 month old when the baby was born so I kept them separated from her during most times. The baby was in the kitchen and they were in the living room. In one of those infant to toddler sleepers or in the swing. The swing only seems to work for a few months to use it while you can. Have you tried to swaddle ? (Happiest baby on the block) or in a infant carrier around you ? My last was my "squirrel" and she has always thought she was MY TWIN !! 7 weeks is still young so enjoy the hugs while you can. But I wish at night especially BEFORE the age of 1 that I hadn't gone to her so quickly at night -- for fear she'd wake up the twins. She took a hard program after she was 1 years old to break her waking in the middle of the night for a bottle. Each kid is different and each kid their own struggle.

 

I try to put him down awake in the co-sleeper upstairs (a dark, quiet environment) but I didn't think that babies had the ability to self soothe at this age (meaning that CIO won't work since they can't learn to fall asleep by themselves yet). So when he fusses I leave him, but then he ends up crying so I go and get him and start again to rock him, binkie, and put him down again, but he just doesn't stay asleep. When can they self soothe?

 

Some babies self soothe fairly early, others not until they are older. For instance, my oldest son was always able to self soothe. Right from birth, I could put him in the crib awake & he would just fall asleep with no crying & very little fussing. But CIO is not recommended for babies until at least 5 or 6 months, from everything I have read.

 

I sometimes nurse my 3 month old DD for a few minutes. Other times I just use a paci and rock her for a few minutes. I put her in her crib swaddled either asleep or drowsy. If she is still awake she usually goes to sleep on her own. I think she is a pretty easy baby though. I know my DS would have never done that. When I do this I leave her nursery door open and listen to my 24 month old twins. They are either next door playing in their room or downstairs, but I can still hear them. Sometimes I get up to check on them. We have the bathroom doors locked and basically everything is toddler-proofed. I agree with you that it is a challenge with 3 young kids.

 

Oh, it is so hard. Mine are now 3.5 (twins) and 1 ... but I remember so well how hard it was. My twins were he** on wheels but I was (am) lucky that my baby is fairly chill (as far as babies go =)

At 7 weeks, I was lucky that my little one would generally still sleep in my arms (I watched the whole series of LOST on Netflix in her first few months while I held her for naps while the twins napped =) or in the bouncy amidst the ruckus ... when that would no longer happen, I used the swing, too. I actually got (and am still in) the bad habit of nursing her to sleep then I would put her in the swing with a paci (and swaddled at that age) ... and it was a verrrrrry slow progression to no swaddle and in the bed ... she still nurses before naps/night and uses a paci ... both of which I am totally OK with. My girls just had to get used to it ... and as hard as it was ... they eventually (and Caroline was at least 2 months old or older, even, before the twins accepted the fact that Mommy had to put the baby to sleep) "got it" and would sit and watch a show or color or something while I put the baby to nap. Every now and then we will still have a day where they want to sit in her room with me while I put her to bed (especially nights hubby works late) and it is hard, but I will let them sit in her floor as long as they don't make a peep (they "read" books or I put her twilight turtle on and they look at the "stars") ... and she knows they are there but will generally still nurse then just cry for a minute or less once I put her down and we all vacate ... and I will say that they are good about being quiet ... unless something strikes one or the other as funny ... then you are SOL

It was hard for my girls to get used to Caroline ... they are SUCH Mommy's girls (actually, the reason I got on was to post about that fact ... that they won't let Daddy do ANYTHING for them) but they now accept her and I honestly don't even think they remember life before Caroline. It will get easier. I knew, from experience (as you do) that you will eventually be able to just put your baby down and he/she will sleep ... this having to soothe is only temporary ... once the little one is old enough ... a little fussing to sleep won't hurt. It is so much easier and quicker to get Caroline down than it is the twins because it just has to be that way and therefore she has gotten used to it. With the twins it is like a 20 minute process but with C ... I nurse her for like 5 minutes then just lay her down and sometimes she may fuss for a minute (sometimes it is literally like 10 seconds like she wants me to know she is not happy about napping but darn is she tired =) but then she goes to sleep ... it was work getting her there ... but you will get there ... it may just be that your twins are still trying to adjust ... which is hard given that your baby still really needs you to be there. Just try to remember that this, too, shall pass ... I am all about just using whatever it takes at this age ... swing, swaddle, paci ... whatever ... at this point your little one will not remember that you stuck her in a swing but the older ones may remember that you always "shafted" them for the baby (which is not really the case but may be what the big kids think of us =) Hang in there ... it gets so much easier in that respect ... now, if you could just tell me how to keep my extremely mobile 1 year old out of my 3.5 year olds stuff!

 

Just read some of the pp ideas ... just wanted to say that I would not let a 7 week old CIO. We did CIO with the twins at 6 months and never really had to do too much of it with C but let her fuss herself down probably around 5 months old (would only fuss a bit ... not the hours of intense crying like the twins.) I know it is hard but 7 week olds just may be too young to self soothe ... IMO. It is probably that he is just a little young to have much of a schedule at all. I think around 12 weeks or so I started trying to stop the swing when she was really out like a light ... then after a few weeks I would stop the swing and put her in the bed when she was out ... then after a while start her in the bed ... the leave one arm out of her swaddle in the bed ... then both arms ... and each time I progressed her a bit ... it was back to short naps and more waking at night until she got used to the change ... she has been able to put her paci back in her own mouth since she was maybe around 4 months old ... much earlier than the twins ... so I always put her down with a bunch of them in the bed (she used to chuck them all out until I made her cry one day without one ((she was like 10 months old)) and she doesn't do it anymore now) ... it was painfully slow progression but she never had to cry for a significant period of time and ever since 6 months or so I have been able to put her down awake and about 75% of the time she goes to sleep no problem and maybe 25% she may fuss for a few minutes but nothing major then goes to sleep. Anyway ... hang in there ...

 

At 7 weeks, babies can put them selves to sleep but not through crying. Is your ds swaddled? I swaddled my kids till they were done with it, maybe around 5mos. It help a lot! When the twins were that young, I swaddled them and put them down awake and they fell asleep on their own. I started from birth. I don't have the patience to rock someone to sleep and then put them down only for them to wake up as soon as they lay down.

Having them swaddled keeps their arms at their sides which helps to keep them from jerking awake from the falling reflex they have at this age.

 

I definitely recommend swaddling. Miracle Blanket or Woombie. I haven't tried the Woombie, personally, but it looks awesome and I've heard good things. Soothing to sleep doesn't necessarily mean rocking/nursing until completely asleep. Usually it means soothe them until they are sleepy and then try to put them down. Some babies will. Some babies won't. My babies never did but lots of others do.

What I might suggest is getting the twins set up with some kind of activity. If you don't trust them on the first level while you're taking care of the baby, I'd bring them upstairs with you and close them in their room. Let them know that right now they have to do x/y/z while you deal with the baby and when you're done then they can do something else. This worked with all my 3 older ones. Granted, it wasn't perfect every day, but in general it was how it went.

 

With my twins I followed HSHHC and put them down drowsy but awake, starting at 8 weeks after a pretty short joint soothing routine. (And I mean, like, 2 minutes.) Maybe that would work with your LO? It seemed like if I caught them at the right time, they really didn't need much. I would change diapers if needed, swaddle them and lie them down with their pacis and tiptoe out of the room ... and not hear a peep. It actually worked a lot better than I expected!

 

BIG HUGS! I have concluded I suck at "healthy" sleep habits the first 6 months. LOL I sucked with the twins and I sucked with Ryder. I was having the same dilemna you are having. The twins are crazy loud and wouldn't let me spend the time I needed to get Ryder to sleep. He actually slept ON me until he was about 6 months old when he FINALLY started sleeping in his crib (slept in bed with me at night). I was able to put him in the bouncy seat on the counter and he'd sleep in there once in awhile. Anyway - what finally did the trick was putting a gate on his bedroom doorway (actually a little farther out so I could see the twins but they couldn't come in. First of all I give the twins a snack, a drink, and a special tv show or movie they really like and tell them it's quiet time. When Ryder goes night night then we can do something special but they have to sit down and have quiet time while I'm putting the baby to bed. Then I leave the door open in Ryder's room, have lullabies playing at a decent volume, snuggle him up in the chair and give him his bottle. He usually falls right to sleep like this and I lay him down when he's done with his bottle. He will fall asleep if I lay him down awake but more often than not he just falls asleep eating (hasn't caused night time problems yet knock on wood). It took about 1-2 weeks of doing this routine before everyone started to "get it". So far so good. During nap time we do a quiet activity or play outside.

Since you have the upstairs/downstairs thing is there somewhere upstairs the girls could play quietly while you put him to bed or no? I am very thankful we have a ranch now for this reason. Good luck!!