Just Curious!

Hi, Like I stated...I'm just curious about how other moms to be feel about people feeling your belly? Let me give a couple or few examples: I may be at school and someone that I know from school but not a close friend or anything...we may hold conversations but no hanging out after school... well they see me and before you know it hands are rubbing my belly like its a crystal ball or something. Another scenerio: I met up for lunch with 3 girlfriends whom I use to party with...and before I even knew it there is laughter and silly prophesies coming out of the mouth of the person laying hands on my belly rubbing it. ( Of course I know that this was intended to be a gester of comfort ) People that I don't really know they see me and they start with the ouuhhhs & auuhhhhhs and all I can see is their hands in position ready to touch and gauke my belly. Well........I don't know if my hormones has anything to do with this, but for convience I blame it on my hormones..but..I don't like people touching,feeling my belly. I will even go as far to say tha I think it's even rude to not ask permission to do so. Plus there are other reasons why I don't like this gester (but it's kinda on the deep side, so I'll leave that alone.) May I add when I use to see a pregnant woman I would always ask was it o.k to feel her belly. Some people do not mind having their bellies touched/rubbed and there is nothing wrong with that because that is their belly. But out of curiosity...what are your honest feelings about your belly being rubbed/touched? When I get some responses I will reveil the real reason why I don't like it. Thanks in advance for your responses.

 

There are rules about personal space and personal questions and things like that. They all seem to go out the window for pregnant women.

Example: You don't see strangers in line at the store rubbing each others bellies. That would be weird!

You don't have friends asking each other how their cervix is doing.

But throw a pregnant women into the mix... well for some reason that's different. Personal space and privacy no longer apply.

Now I know these people just think it's really neat that your pregnant for the most part and want to express that in some way. Hey, a congrats, or a hug would work just fine, but a belly rub or a graphic birth story is usually what happens.

Long and short of it is, yes they mean well, but I always said the next person who rubbed my belly would get a belly rub in return. The next to person to ask about my weight would get asked the same question. A lot of it was hormones, I'm a lot more mellow now, except I don't have time to put up with nonsense anymore.

Also, you do not have to take rudeness from people. If you don't like someone touching your belly, speak up and say "Please don't touch my belly." They may think you're blah for it, but standing up for yourself is not being rude!

GL!

 

I am very happy to say that with the exception of a very good friend and one or two close family members no one ever reached out to rub my belly while I was pregnant. If random people would have done that I know I would have really disliked it! I like my personal space and I am pretty sure I would have stepped back if I saw hands coming towards me. Just wait until your babies are here and you get stopped every 5 minutes at the store to answer question after question like "Are they twins?"

I think having kids teaches you to speak up a bit more. In your case now you have to learn to say please don't touch my belly (if it bothers you) and once they are here you will have to learn to say please don't touch my babies. (when strangers try to reach in the stroller)

Good Luck!

 

honestly, it never bothers me if the person is a friend or family member. When the smelly UPS guy at work did it, that really creeped me out!

 

I've had issues with people touching my belly every time i got pregnant (definitely the personal bubble thing). My DH put it well when he said that everyone has their personal bubble and unfortunately when yer prego, your belly gets too big and moves out of the bubble space so people head straight for it, hehe. I think i finally have that "dont even think of touching" look on my face, so i dont get it very much anymore. My DH and kids like to rub my belly which i dont mind as much, but anyone else gets to me.

 

sometimes it would bother me, but now that I'm tired of just being pregnant it doesn't matter anymore...nothing really matters to me...

 

I hated people touching my belly when I was pregnant. Close friends and family I could deal with, but that was it. I was at my SIL's wedding when I was 6 months pregnant with the kids. Towards the end of the evening I was so sick of people touching my belly. The wife of one of DH's friends came up and started rubbing my belly and I rubber hers right back. She jumped back and asked me what the h**l I was doing and I said if you can rub mine, I can rub yours. She was shocked that I did that and said she would think twice before touching another pregnant woman's belly.

 

You know, I always thought it would bug me before I had kids, but for some reason, it doesn't. I guess it's because people don't really associate your belly as being a part of YOU...they are rubbing the BABY...and frankly, I kinda don't feel like my belly really IS a part of me anymore...it's my BABIES. Does that make sense?

Like I said, I was surprised that I wasn't more irked by it..I would have SWORN that it would be something that bugged me, but I guess I just feel like my body is no longer my own and if anything it seems to belong more to my girls at this point than me! (Which is also part of the reason I have no interest in sex...weird.)

 

I was always okay with my family or close friends doing it but never with complete strangers or customers (yeah, I had customers at my bank touch my belly.. not cool <_< ) I just think that if I wouldn't want physical contact with you before getting pregnant, I don't want it while pregnant. :good: I hope people lay off your belly. :aggressive:

 

QUOTE(faerieprncs @ May 12 2009, 01:19 PM) [snapback]1310409[/snapback]
You know, I always thought it would bug me before I had kids, but for some reason, it doesn't. I guess it's because people don't really associate your belly as being a part of YOU...they are rubbing the BABY...and frankly, I kinda don't feel like my belly really IS a part of me anymore...it's my BABIES. Does that make sense?

Like I said, I was surprised that I wasn't more irked by it..I would have SWORN that it would be something that bugged me, but I guess I just feel like my body is no longer my own and if anything it seems to belong more to my girls at this point than me! (Which is also part of the reason I have no interest in sex...weird.)

For me that's just it...I don't want them touching my babies.Sometimes I feel like a lion protecting her cubs or a bird that wil peck someones eyes out if they get near my nest of babies or even a dog who does not want anyone around her pups are she will tear you to pieces. I really feel that sense of overprotection. It's o.k for my family (well some of my family members) to do. but others no don't touch. Although I never like my belly being touched before pregnancy. I would prefer someone touching my belly (without babies in it) oppose to them touching my babies. Sometimes I wonder if that makes any sense to anyone besides myself.

 

I had a coworker of mine who had twins who would come up to me and just rub and rub on my belly. I hated it so bad that I would go the opposite way when I saw her coming; it made me so uncomfortable for her to rub on me. I didn't mind for people to touch my belly when they asked, but to just come up and rub on my belly was odd to me. I really don't blame you for feeling like you do!

 

QUOTE(ktannor @ May 12 2009, 01:36 PM) [snapback]1310537[/snapback]
For me that's just it...I don't want them touching my babies.Sometimes I feel like a lion protecting her cubs or a bird that wil peck someones eyes out if they get near my nest of babies or even a dog who does not want anyone around her pups are she will tear you to pieces. I really feel that sense of overprotection. It's o.k for my family (well some of my family members) to do. but others no don't touch. Although I never like my belly being touched before pregnancy. I would prefer someone touching my belly (without babies in it) oppose to them touching my babies. Sometimes I wonder if that makes any sense to anyone besides myself.

Well, you better carry a big stick with you when you go out with the double stroller. EVERYONE thinks they have to talk to you about twins and touch them. I mean, everyone.

 

QUOTE(TwinsInFL @ May 12 2009, 12:26 PM) [snapback]1310607[/snapback]
Well, you better carry a big stick with you when you go out with the double stroller. EVERYONE thinks they have to talk to you about twins and touch them. I mean, everyone.


I agree. Granted, my twins are yet to be born, but I remember feeling overwhelmed whenever I went out with my singleton son...he has HUGE blue eyes and dark hair, so we were stopped just about every two seconds. I remember wishing people would just mind their own damn business sometimes...I just needed a loaf of bread!!!! Please, let me get through my shopping trip!!!

I can't imagine how much worse it will be with twin girls...sigh...

 

I don't mind it at all... most people ask, and I love it how everyone says they can feel them kicking, even when I know they're not :lol: Cracks me up every time.

The only weird incident I had was at my best friend's Jack and Jill shower where her punk nephew was trying to be cool and "pretended" to punch it. He was just trying to make a joke, and he's actually a very gentle person, but I was really bothered by it, and he's lucky he didn't get a punch back. But everyone else.. man go for it! It's all out there!

 

I guess I'm in the same group as faerieprncs. It never bothered me as much as I would have expected. Weird thing is that when I'm not pregnant, touching my belly would get you slugged. I guess I've not had that "threatened" feeling while carrying my babies but then again, I've never had a TOTAL stranger do it either. I guess that would freak me out a bit.

Now, once the babies are here it's a whole different story. DO NOT touch them, stick your face in the stroller, etc. I get really, REALLY po'ed by that and am not afraid to do what I gotta do to get my baby/babies away from the offender. Yeah, it's gonna be a long, long road for me w/ ID twins, isn't it.

Eve

 

I'll flat out admit that I've slapped hands away from my belly. It only took a few times before everyone I have regular contact with ceased. I must also have some wild look in my eyes because only one stranger has tried to touch my bump but I didn't feel right about smacking an 80 year old grandma so she got a pass.

For friends and family however, I can tell when they want to touch. There have been plenty of times that I've taken their hands and placed them on my belly (usually where there's kicking or rolling) so they can experience the movement. None of them have taken my actions for granted and have thanked me for letting them experience it.

I guess it all depends on who it is and what the moment is like, but I always have a hand ready in case anyone steps over the line.

 

QUOTE(TwinsInFL @ May 12 2009, 03:26 PM) [snapback]1310607[/snapback]
Well, you better carry a big stick with you when you go out with the double stroller. EVERYONE thinks they have to talk to you about twins and touch them. I mean, everyone.

Thanks for the fair warning. That means I will really for sure now add to the list of things that I carry in my diaper bag/stroller are a big thing of sanitizer hand wipes. I'm thinking that it will actually be o.k. and cool for the ouuhhhs and auuhhhs then ( it's expectant ). But if it is the kind of thing where they just stick their hands in the stroller pinching their nose or jaws or kissing their hands etc. I will with no shame at all say "just a minute please" and hand them my jar of wipes to sanitize their hands. And definately will say no kissing please. (those kisses are for me and dad!)in places that don't cause them to rash.