just a vent

It's about dh of course. My twins have pt 3x a week and many issues (feeding, breathing, etc) which means many doctors appointments. And now with dd not sleeping in the car anymore, that means time must be made for naps rather than assuming they will sleep in the car to and from the doctors (many of which are 45+minutes away which would be decent naps.) I do have a little help this summer, we have some teenagers in the family so while they are out of school they have been helpful, but they don't drive yet and don't live close, so I have to go pick them up. Which used to not be so bad when the babies could nap in the car, now I need to decide which is more worth it on some days. So with all that said, there is just not enough hours in the day for necessities to run the house, even with the help (the help is ok but not great but better than nothing.) Dh works far from home and then also does freelance. So we just had a conversation about the weekend and I told him everything I had to do (which includes thank you cards from the babies christening last month.) Many things like that or pay bills or whatever, I have to do, the help can't (or I would not want them to). And also many things are just not going to get done and I have come to terms with it. Anyway, I told him and he says, you do know I have work to do right? How do single twin moms do it? How do they manage to keep a house running and take care of the babies? I am having such a hard time. And while I am not single, I feel like I am. I know he is right, we do need the money since I can't work right now (preemie babies so no daycare and no other childcare) but the babies won't wait when they need stuff, they need it. So making bottles, buying diapers, washing their clothes, etc, cannot wait. I do have the help help me out alot with that stuff but they are also with me alot when we go to doctors and such (which I need too). I just don't get how I am suppose to do this.

PS I have tried to get more free help and have been unsuccessful so far.

 

:hug99: :hug99: I am so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed! I wish I had some advice. The only thing that worked for me when I was/am feeling like that is to make a list of all that needs to get done {not only is it written but you get to relax a minute while writing it } and after you have your list go through and it and take out anything that could be done at a later time. Like dinner, laundry, etc. Can your dh possibly take the bills at work and do it when he has some free time? I'm sorry I am of no help, but I just want to send you some hugs! :hug99: :hug99:

 

:hug99: It sounds like things are a bit overwhelming for you right now! Like the PP, I have a running list of things that HAVE TO GET DONE DAILY (which sometimes have to wait until tomorrow), things that I would like to get done today or this week, and things that I would like to get done before 2011 :rotflmbo: . Next to each thing, I note whether I plan on doing it or if I need DH to do it or if we need to work on it together. He does have chores (bathes the babies, makes formula, empties the dishwasher, takes out the trash, etc.) even though he works full time (sometimes leaving before 6am and not returning until 7pm) to support us all financially. Often, things slip...our house is always straight (it won't be once the kids are mobile), but it hasn't been dusted or deep cleaned for awhile...our yard is a mess...there is ALWAYS more laundry to be done...but at the end of the day, loving on the babies is our first priority. I hope that you find a system that works for you and your family. I know how difficult it is trying to be the perfect Mommy, perfect Housekeeper, perfect Wife, etc...sometimes, you just have to find perfection in the imperfections, go to bed early, and leave the dishes in the sink! :hug99:

 

Thanks for the tips and support ladies but that is what I am saying, there are many things that do not get done like cleaning, our laundry, dishes in the sink, etc and I am ok with it. I am just talking about the babies' needs here. I am not trying to be the perfect housekeeper, wife, etc or even the perfect mommy, right now, I am just trying to be a good mommy but it is hard to do it alone. That's all.

 

QUOTE
there are many things that do not get done like cleaning, our laundry, dishes in the sink, etc and I am ok with it.


Until mine were a little over 2, things like that didn't get done on a regular basis either.

My DH wasn't much help then and isn't now... as they get older, things get easier. (well, it did for me anyway). When they were that age and I had to make a run to the store without help, the duoglider was a relief. The basket is just big enough to put a few groceries and things they needed in it as well.

:hug99:

 

I was just rereading my previous post and I apologize if what I said came out with a snotty tone, it was not meant to at all. I appreciate all the advice and tips. I am just anxious for the day that this all gets a little easier.

I feel like I have 2 3 month olds sometimes. Due to all of their issues (we are working on them, trust me), they still get a bottle 6-7 times a day, we don't leave ds alone when sleeping or napping (a long story, he has breathing issues) even with a monitor, so it's not like once they are sleeping it is time for us. Dh does give me a few hours at night but many times it is a fight and it is so late I feel rushed to get done what I need to (eat dinner, take a relaxing shower, make bottles for the next day, pack the diaper bag, etc) so that I can get to bed. He thinks he is doing the most/best he can, so I can't ask for more. They are not exactly on a sleeping schedule that I would like but at least they sleep through the night for the most part but they get up very early, and dd has been waking once a night for the past few weeks, so I still feel like I don't get enough sleep. And dh wants me to treat weekends like weekdays, I told him forget it, there is no way I can run a house on just 2-3 hours of "time off" from the babies 7 days a week. I don't know how people do it, it is just so tough.

 

:hug99: