Jealousy

My boys are 15 months and they are polar opposites in their sleep needs. They are on the same schedule but one always wakes in the am and both naps about 45 min before his bother. This means that I spend about 2 hours a day with just him and his brother gets very little individual time. He has always been a mama's boy and my sleeper has always been very independent. I have just recently noticed that my mama's boy gets extremely jealous when I am playing/reading etc to his brother and always tries to sit in between us. I am starting to feel very guilty that I have so much more individual time with one but my husband reassures that I am meeting their needs...and that my independent boy is very happy and does not need as much because of his personality. I am rambling now but just curious if any of you are in a similar situation where you spend about 2 hours alone with one twin due to their napping....Just need a little reassurance.

 

This happens with my DS. He is a Mamas boy to the extreme. and DD is very independant. But when DD comes and sits on me.. DS come running over and sits on me and kinda pushes her out of the way. When he does it i normally get him off my lap and comfort DD because its wrong of him to do that.

Some kids are just naturally more attached to their parents.

:hug: I wish i knew what to tell you!

 

My girls have always done this with each other. I have to remind them that mommy has two laps (legs) and that there is plenty of room for both. If they persist, the offending child gets placed on the floor next to me and the other gets placed squarely in the middle of my lap while I tell the offending child that they can share my lap when they remember how to sit nicely and share. They will still occasionally get into a shoving match over who gets to sit in my lap, but they are generally pretty good about sitting together with me to read a story or get cuddles. If they are both being pushy, I put them both on the floor, on either side of me, so I can still put my arms around them and read a story or whatever they are wanting to do.

 

This happens with my DD. She sleep WAY less than DS and has always been a mama's girl. I usually leave her in her crib until DS wakes so I do not get extra time with her in the am, but her naps can be a good hour to hour and a half less than DS's so I get extra time with her in the afternoon. I have also noticed that she hates to share mommy and definitly tries to shove her way in when DS is on my lap or in my arms.

 

Hey girl!

You know how my girls are and they are both pretty darned clingy ... but what I have found over these last 15 1/2 months is that it seems to shift back and forth ... like for a few weeks, it is Hannah that is clingy then a month later it is Meredith ... maybe B and C will do that, too ... just not as frequently as M and H. Maybe when they hit the "terrible twos" all the sudden it will be C that needs more of you and B needs less (did I guess right? is B more clingy right now and C more independent?) ...

I agree with Eric that they are getting what they need from you however, when the independent little guy gets pushed out of your lap, I agree with others that is when you need to let your Mama's boy know that is a "no-no" and let him pitch his little tantrum and maybe he will learn ... if not, maybe on the weekends or on a post-call day, you and your independent soul need to have some time together alone. Take him to the park and leave Mama's boy at home with Eric? That way, at least you know in your heart that you are trying to be fair!

We miss you guys!