Is this something that I should worry about?

Hey all! I have been wondering if I am being too wierd or if this is just something that mother's are suppose to do, and is it normal?

For some time now I have been getting very defensive about things that will either effect my girls or effect me. Like when family and friends come over and everyone wants to know EVERY single detail about EVERYTHING in my life as of now. I would just rather crawl in a whole and wait for them to leave. I don't go anywhere now except Dr. appts and the hospital for NST's (besides I'm on bed rest) because I am so sick of people asking questions and saying stupid things. I just have no tolerance with anyone. And I am pretty much relieved and thankful for the bed rest that the OB put me on so that I am not out and about with the snivels and eyes rolling into the huge "OH MY GOD SHE'S HUGE" look.

I am a very private person and I don't usually tell everyone my business, and I am even more private about my pregnancies, that of which my husband isn't so understanding of. He wants everyone there at the time of delivery and I just want to recooperate in peace. I do know that the first thing I am having done is I am making signs for my hospital door. PLEASE COME BACK LATER, DO NOT DISTURB, and I will probably have a couple more depending on the circumstances. I am not much for company after having a baby let alone 2 babies.

I am just at a point that I can't stand being around anyone else. My husband and daughter are closer and I don't mind being around them but I just can't stand being around anyone else. What is this and is it normal?

Thanks for your replies.
Meshell

 

I think people who come to visit a woman who is on bedrest don't have any idea what to talk to them about so the natural thing seems to be to discuss the babies and pregnancy. Often times they feel bad talking about their life, since you are not allowed out and can feel quite awkward like they are throwing it in your face that they are able to do things but you arent't. The pregnancy usually seems to be the 'safe' topic. This was only the case for a couple of weeks of my bedrest since I was on bedrest during September 11th, then there was pretty much only one topic of discussion and obviously it took my pregnancy right out of the picture. Perhaps you would be more comforable asking for no visitors until the babies have arrived and everyone has adjusted to being home?

 

You sound pretty normal to me! I'm not on bedrest, so I have the total opposite problem; I'm around people all day at work, and at church, and anywhere else I happen to go. I personally am so sick and tired of talking about this pregnancy with strangers and coworkers (even the well meaning ones). I'm actually glad to hear that I'm not the only one!

I hope you can get your DH to see it your way when it comes to the guests at the hospital. I think if people really want to see you and the babies, then they can bring you dinner when you get home!!!

Good luck! We don't have much longer!

Jen

 

Oh My GOSH!!! I think you have been sitting in my living room listening to my exact conversation! I just discussed this with my husband yesterday. I too am on bedrest and have been for 14 weeks. The best way I know how to describe the feeling is like a mother hen sitting on her eggs for 3 and a half months and protecting it from verything around it. At this point I don't even want people touching my stomach!

What's even worse is that every time certain people call me the first thing they say is "are you stilll pregnant?" I just keep telling them that they will know when I am no longer pregnant. I even created a blog for people to check with updates on weights, etc. READ THE BLOG PEOPLE! STOP HARASSING ME!!! Sometimes I feel like I am just carrying public property for everyone else. Even my MIL is calling me saying "when are you going to have those babies?!" ever since I was 33 weeks. Why would you want me to have them so early? That's ridiculous!

Saturday after my NST a guy walked up to me and actually said "now that's a freaky looking stomach. what's in there, triplets?" Are you kidding me? But I think I can deal with comments from strangers more than my family members and friends. My grandmother even had the nerve to ask me about sex yesterday! What gives?

As I posted on my website, I am going into extreme hiding between now and next Tuesday when I deliver. I will change my outgoing voice message to give the details about the birth and just leave my phone off after their born. I can't even imagine how that first week will go with my parents and my husband's parents here for a week. I just want to lock myself in the room with my husband and babies. I don't know if what you and I are feeling is normal or not, but at least we're not alone.

 

I live out in the country, so ppl don't seem to want to come out here anyway. My thing is I don't even want to talk to ppl on the phone. I have a friend that tries to make me feel guilty, 'Why haven't you called me?' I'm like, why...1st, the phone works 2 ways. 2nd, who wants to here about how many times I peed today and how many BH I had?
Being stuck on a couch can be depressing anyway. I'll just enjoy the twins moving and petting my dog. Last weekend I didn't even call my own mother.
So, yeah, it all sounds pretty normal IMO. It gets tiresome lying around. Our hormones make our emotions and senses peak.
I hope your husband can come to understand your need for peace and quiet while you share this special time with the ones that live with you only. I agree with PP, if they want to come over and be nosey, the least they could do is feed you!
Good luck

 

I was the same exact way.

I even lost my sense of humor. Someone suggested reading that "Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" so I got it from the library. I didn't think it was funny at all - hemorroids were not funny to me. I never finished it.

I was on bedrest in the hospital for 6 weeks and wanted no visitors. I actually had a neighbor of ours - WHO I HAD NEVER MET BEFORE - drop by the hospital without calling or asking if she could come! She has twins so she thought she would make a surprise visit. I was in a weepy, angry mood and I unloaded a bunch of whining on her. Now that I think about it, I never heard from her again! I just know that I would never assume someone in the hospital would want unannounced visitors - but that's just me.

I really just wanted to be alone....otherwise I had to pretend for my visitors that I wasn't horribly miserable. It just took too much effort.

I have a pregnancy blog too and dh fielded a lot of the emails and calls. He posted on there that I wanted no visitors at the hospital after I delivered. I was on mag after delivery and totally out of it anyway. I also have had a major complication from the c-section so he sent another email asking for no visitors while I was dealing with that. Now that the girls are almost 2 weeks old and I'm finally starting to really heal I don't mind if close friends stop by to see them (as long as they call first!).

You will eventually want to be around people again....but I think it's totally normal that you are happier by yourself for now.

 

I think we are all very hormonal and it gets worse at the end. I used to like talking about the twin thing w/ anyone that brought it up. I worked in customer service one on one and ran into alot of conversation about my pregnancy. Anyway the last few weeks I really keep it short and simple and don't go into to much w/ anyone. Most people are just interested, which is normal so I try to remember that and that they usually have good intentions. It just gets anoying when you have answered the same questions over and over again. And that one question on an earlier post I have also got ( when are you going to have those babies, aren't you about ready??) even when they know I am only 33 weeks.
But other than that, I love company and help w/ my other children. I actually don't have family living near me, but I have family coming to visit to help. My step sister ( only 15 yrs old) is taking two weeks out of her summer break to come help me get some rest while helping w/ my 6,4 and 2 yr old. Then my mother will be here when she leaves for 3 weeks and for the birth. Then two days before mom leaves my sister in law will be here to stay for a month to help. And Im sure I will want my space, but I feel very blessed to have such a great family willing to take time and endure the cost of taking time off and buying plane tickets to come help me. So while we get annoyed, try to remember that some people are just trying to help and think of how sad it would be to not have anyone care or want to help.
Good luck to all,
Nichole