Is this normal?

I am freaking out, because my mom just wanted my brother to live with me for a couple of months while he gets on my feet. Then everything set in... I only have 3.5 months left to spend with just me and my husband before bringing in two children into our family. NO more privacy, no more time alone, no more time just the two of us for the next twenty plus years. I am scared to death!!! Is this normal to feel this way? I love these babies so much, I really do, but this is forever!!! 20 years without spending time with just me and my hubby?? I am so scared.... Just 3.5 months left, before my world is turned upside down. I can't wait till these babies are here, but I just now thought about it... it's crazy! I love my time with my husband, and I am sure I am going to love my time with my children, I am just stressing out. Help... normal or not?

 

Normal! But, when you have them you can't imagine life without them. Don't worry, you'll still have time for DH, alone...every now and then!

 

I am going down to my mother 31/2 hours away and DD has to stay with DH because she has a game, I thought how nice I will just DS with him too and have a nice quiet ride down and relax and as the days got closer it broke my heart to leave him...so he is going with, I love the thought of being away from them but when it comes right down to it they are all I want and think about! On the brother thing I just had to boot my SIL out because she refused to help in anyway, she had a job but thought she should spend her money on her nails and such or buying food for just herself when there are 4 other people in the house, she also would play me and DH against each other so in my opinion having any outside people living with you is just going to put more strain on you and DH and this is a very special time for the both of you! enjoy!

 

QUOTE(MelissaTwins @ Feb 8 2008, 03:41 PM) [snapback]613175[/snapback]
I am freaking out, because my mom just wanted my brother to live with me for a couple of months while he gets on my feet. Then everything set in... I only have 3.5 months left to spend with just me and my husband before bringing in two children into our family. NO more privacy, no more time alone, no more time just the two of us for the next twenty plus years. I am scared to death!!! Is this normal to feel this way? I love these babies so much, I really do, but this is forever!!! 20 years without spending time with just me and my hubby?? I am so scared.... Just 3.5 months left, before my world is turned upside down. I can't wait till these babies are here, but I just now thought about it... it's crazy! I love my time with my husband, and I am sure I am going to love my time with my children, I am just stressing out. Help... normal or not?


are u saying your mom wants your brother to stay with u and dh and 2 newborns while HE gets back on his feet? if so i say thats pretty selfish of her to impose on you unless your brother will be a HUGE help; make dinner, clean, ect- dont let him slack off-

 

QUOTE(2+2more! @ Feb 8 2008, 03:51 PM) [snapback]613274[/snapback]
are u saying your mom wants your brother to stay with u and dh and 2 newborns while HE gets back on his feet? if so i say thats pretty selfish of her to impose on you unless your brother will be a HUGE help; make dinner, clean, ect- dont let him slack off-



Well my brother and his girlfriend that he's living with got in a huge fight... let me remind you he's 32 years old. He has no car, and no place to go besides my moms house, or my house. My mom's husband won't let anyone live with them... they only have a two bedroom house, and the other bedroom is his office, so the guest always sleeps on the couch... I have a four bedroom house, so it makes since. But I don't want to take care of my brother while he gets on his feet. He should be on his feet by time the kids are here... but who knows for sure. Plus I only have 3.5 months with my husband, and I want that to be just the two of us.... So I told her no. I am a very un-confrontational person, and so is my husband, if my brother did something that we didn't like, how would we tell him no? If he stayed too long, how would we tell him to get out? So I told my mom sorry can't do it. I feel horrible, but I don't really want stress as I am already worried about pre-term labor. I know I keep bringing that up... but I really am scared. It's my first pregnancy and I don't know what a normal pain is or not...

 

I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous! I don't want to bash your family, but who on earth could expect you to take in your 32 yr old brother?!?
Even if you weren't pregnant with twins and married etc,
NO FREAKIN' WAY!
Tell the loser to get a J-O-B and find his own apt. Or better yet, your mom could take him in.

Sheeesh. Sorry if I offended you.

 

You made the right decision. You are under enough stress right now without having to deal with another person living in your house. Don't worry so much about the pre-term labor, you are doing great. You will know when it is not a normal pain. Enjoy your time with DH and getting ready for the babies.

Jen

 

Try to take a deep breath and not worry so much. I know it's easier said than done. I was a chronic worrier during my pregnancy. If I had anything to do over about my pregnancy it would be that I would worry MUCH less.

About your brother, you made the right decision. You must be responsible to YOUR family...you, your husband and the two babies growing inside of you. Adding an adult brother who is not taking care of his own life to the mix is not a good idea and it would not be good for your family. Days of caring for others (on a day to day basis) are over...especially 32 year olds. Tell your mom to let him live with her.

 

TOTALLY NORMAL! I felt this way for weeks before the birth of th twins. I was sad, worried- sometimes regretful at the changes I knew would come our way with adding children into the mix. I even posted something similar to your post before their birth. I can now tell you- without reservation, that I would never look back or go back to it being just my DH and I, and I've only had the twins for 7 days! It changes your world in ways you can not even imagine- but is the most wonderful thing! You will be so suprised how easily the "old life" becomes the past and this new adventure takes its place.

 

Normal - but I wouldn't let me brother move back in my right now since you have enough to deal with. But I'm willing to bet you will love the 20+ years until the house it just you and DH again.

 

Completely normal. I felt exactly the same way and then felt supremely guilty and selfish for feeling that way. Now that the girls are here I can't remember my life without them and don't want to.

 

QUOTE(Overachiever @ Feb 8 2008, 06:40 PM) [snapback]613412[/snapback]
I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous! I don't want to bash your family, but who on earth could expect you to take in your 32 yr old brother?!?
Even if you weren't pregnant with twins and married etc,
NO FREAKIN' WAY!
Tell the loser to get a J-O-B and find his own apt. Or better yet, your mom could take him in.

Sheeesh. Sorry if I offended you.



Nope ... I"m with you.
So, Mom wants SOMEONE to bail out the brother, and it sounds like she's picked you.

****, no.
I'd tell your mom you need your rest, and there is NO WAY you can take anyone in.

 

You made the right decision. You may not going into pre-term labor, but you will probably deliver around 37-38 weeks and that still is going to cut your 3.5 months anyway. Now is the time you are going to need to make sure you and your husband bond and get things "straight" in your heads before these babies come. My husband and I have been having some really deep and honest conversations, which have just made our relationship stronger. Our babies are coming in about 6 weeks and I can only imagine that those moments will mean a lot when we are ready to argue about stupid and ridiculous things (while we are super over-tired) after these two come.

Enjoy this time with your husband and know that you have to take care of yourself. Your brother may be going through a difficult time right now, but it is you and your husband's time right now. It is only fair that you think about yourselves a little bit too.

 

I would say totally normal. It has just been me and my husband for the past 9 years...it is scary knowing that is all about to change.


Dianna

 

It is totally normal to feel like that. You really should enjoy the time you have with your hubby now, it is a precious time when it's just the two of you and you are pregnant. However once you have those beautiful babies and the newness of it all wears off it doesn't seem so scary, and you can't imagine life without them. The first few months were tough for me, I was nursing and VERY attached to the babies, I really didn't want to do anything but be home with them. That changed! DH and I usually have a couple date nights a month or like today his dad and mom took them to their house for the whole day!!!! So we are just hanging out eating and watching TV by ourselves! You will have time together, but like anything change can be difficult. Hang in there and just try to enjoy your time now and just take it a day at a time. Forever can get pretty overwhelming.

 

Good for u! i would be livid if someone told me i had to watch my 32 your old brother! i agree he needs to get a job and find a friend or someone else to mooch off of-sheesh.

 

Thank you everyone for your response. My brother has a job, just no car and no place to live. But him and his girlfriend are trying to work things out... thank god!

About the twins, I am so excited for them to be here, but like someone said, forever is a bit overwhelming! I know that there will be nothing but joy when those two get here, I am just scared about going from just DH and I for the past almost nine years to a family of four. But I am very anxious but definitely a little scared

Thank you again for all your posts