Is this normal?

Sarah has been acting more and more wierd as she gets older. She's got these "routines" and ways of doing things that are so strange. For example, she can't put her socks on without carefully picking out all the sock lint from her toes first, she has this thing about making sure all doors she can find are shut, she MUST have the same 5 blankets on to sleep, and they MUST be in the same order of stacking, when playing with rubber duckies in the tub, they MUSt be lined up carefully on the side of the tub, and when she wipes with TP, it has to be neatly folded, which often takes several minutes. She's not a neat freak, or anything, and the wierd thing is, she's normally a really obedient child, but when she's performing one of these compulsive activities, it doesn't matter how hard I push or punish, she MUST do them and won't stop until I physically stop her. Then she just glares angrily at me and mutters undre her breath. It's so strange. I just don't know what to do with these behaviours becauses sometimes they're really inconvienient (like when she cries uncontrollably because her blankies aren't stacked correctly after she wakes in the middle of the night, or pulls a door shut and wakes the baby sleeping in the next room even though I've repeatedly told her to leave the door alone). Anyone with experience know if this is pathological or just normal preschooler behaviour?

 

I don't know what to tell you. I have a 4.5 year old DD and my boys are 3 years 1 month. None of mine have ever exhibited any of the behaviors you described. Sure, they have certain things they are insistant about, but nothing like you described with Sarah.

Have you discussed any of this with your pediatrician? I would do that. Best case is he/she tells you not to worry about it, plenty of toddlers go through a stage like that, and she'll grow out of it. Worst case . . . she is exhibiting signs of OCD. I imagine caught young enough, there is lots you can do to help her be less obsessive.

One of my boys has been acting out a lot lately. I was *this* close to making an appointment with the pedi to just go in and visit with him about my concerns. I still may, we'' have to see how bedtime tonight goes and how his day is tomorrow.

Good luck. Maybe some of the other moms/dads on here will have some advice or suggestions for you.

 

QUOTE(mel&3 @ Mar 4 2009, 11:28 PM) [snapback]1214914[/snapback]
Sarah has been acting more and more wierd as she gets older. She's got these "routines" and ways of doing things that are so strange. For example, she can't put her socks on without carefully picking out all the sock lint from her toes first, she has this thing about making sure all doors she can find are shut, she MUST have the same 5 blankets on to sleep, and they MUST be in the same order of stacking, when playing with rubber duckies in the tub, they MUSt be lined up carefully on the side of the tub, and when she wipes with TP, it has to be neatly folded, which often takes several minutes. She's not a neat freak, or anything, and the wierd thing is, she's normally a really obedient child, but when she's performing one of these compulsive activities, it doesn't matter how hard I push or punish, she MUST do them and won't stop until I physically stop her. Then she just glares angrily at me and mutters undre her breath. It's so strange. I just don't know what to do with these behaviours becauses sometimes they're really inconvienient (like when she cries uncontrollably because her blankies aren't stacked correctly after she wakes in the middle of the night, or pulls a door shut and wakes the baby sleeping in the next room even though I've repeatedly told her to leave the door alone). Anyone with experience know if this is pathological or just normal preschooler behaviour?


both my girls do the lint thing with socks. Also one has to do the certain amount of toilet paper. We go thru stages with the beds having certain blankets on and having to be straight. One has sensory issues, maybe its a phase but maybe checking with a Ocupational therapist or ur doctor.

 

I think you should speak to your pediatrician. My children do not do that, but I have read that OCD is somewhat commom.

I think whether Sarah should be treated will come down to how much anxiety this is causing her. Also, how much it is interfering with normal day-to-day activities. I've heard of helpful behavior therapy that aims to help children oversome there fears (for example, putting the blankets in the wrong order, and dealing with it.. but on the other hand, I don't see the problem with this, unless it is really interfering with her and your sleep since she is waking up many times per night and checking.)

Your family is beautiful ( I saw your blog)! Let us know how it goes.


Stacy

 

My Jason used to be the same way. Certain blankets in bed. Blocks lined up according to color code. I used to call him my OCD child. We never had him tested or treated. He is fine. It was just something he had control over & he liked the control. He is also my very sensitive, but not affectionate child & is very smart.

 

That type of behavior is certainly normal for this age, but as PP said, it's a matter of degree. Is it controlling her life to the point that it's causing her great anxiety and making it impossible for her to enjoy things? Or, even if it's not quite that upsetting for her, is it so inconvenient that it's really impacting your life and your family's happiness? It couldn't hurt to speak to the ped and just see whether he/she thinks this is within the normal range.

For comparison, while both of my DDs do that sort of thing (and it seemed to peak just before the age of 3 -- it's actually gotten a teeny bit better recently), it's not nearly to that extent. They can be very insistent about it, and have tantrums when I mess something up, but I never get the sense that their rituals are controlling them or that they really can't help themselves. It's more that they are just very, very determined to have things be consistent and predictable, and they also have to have their own way nearly all the time.