Is this a normal amount of anxiety?

My twins are 8 weeks old and I am going back to work in about 7 weeks and I am starting to feel extremly anxious about it. Every time I think of leaving them I feel like I want to cry or throw up or something. I have a supportive husband and family, and we have day care lined up but I just can't imagine leaving them. I am starting to feel irrationally angry as the date gets closer- angry at myself for not planning ahead better financially so I could stay home longer, angry at my husband for not making more money (which is ridiculous because he makes plenty, we both do), angry that we live in such an expensive area (Washington DC area) where we can't get a house with a yard in a decent school district for under $400k unless I am willing to saddle my husband with an interminable commute and move away from all our friends. Heck, sometimes I am angry that we don't live in Europe so that I would be legally entitled to a long time off with pay! Believe me, I undestand how ridiculous and possibly ungrateful this all sounds. I am even jealous of my friends and relatives who are able to be SAHMs. Is this normal or should I be medicated or what??

 

I would think its pretty normal. I am a SAHM, but live in a much less expensive area and my DH has one of those horrid commutes. But it would have been really hard to leave my little ones. I would think that all of your normal anxiety is probably exacerbated by not lots of sleep (at least I wasn't getting nearly enough at that point with twins) and hormones. But it wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it if you feel like the anxiety is causing problems.

 

Howdy, neighbor. In our area, you have to figure out what is more important. . .commute times or a house/yard/being able to afford things. For us, my husband works in Reston, I work in DC and we live almost in WV. So obviously for us, it's being able to do things and afford things.

One question, would it be easier for you if you had a nanny instead of a center?

 

What you are feeling is totally normal. I make 4 times what DH makes so I had no choice but to go back to work. I had to go back at 8 weeks with the twins and I was miserable. I hated work, I hated anyone who got to stay at home... Eventually it got easier and we all adjusted. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

 

I also had to returned to work when my twins were 12 weeks old. I employed a nanny and that made things just easier. It does get easier as you settle into the new routine and some of us just don't have a choice, but to go back to work. I would suggest taking your babies to the day-care centre a few days before you start work to get them used to the new routine. By the time you start work they would have adjusted and this will be less stressful for you. Good luck.

 

I think so. Leaving your babies, or your toddlers, and trusting someone else with them is difficult, and it is made more difficult by the lack of sleep and the hormonal upheaval of the first months with twins. Take good care of yourself and do not hesitate to speak to your doctor if your anxiety is getting too much for you to handle.

FWIW: I am one of the lucky European women and got to stay at home with the babies for 9 months on some state parenting benefits (no where near my full pay). I am very thankful for this but I am not sure everyone in the US is aware what we pay in taxes and social security contributions to make benefits like these happen. I totally understand being envious of this though - I am still envious of every SAHM.

 

It was very hard on the 1st 2 weeks for me; it is still hard now.
What helped is keeping my mind on some positive things I noticed at the center i.e how the care taker put them on good schedule or help out with letting them trying foods etc....
It will get better. Hang in there!

 

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