Is it unusual to still feel this way?

My boys are 11 mos today!!!! I can't believe it. Anyway, things are so much easier, less chaotic, etc. and I am really enjoying them. But, I still feel guilty - like I'm not spending enough time with them. By the time they drink EBM or formula, we play for a short while, eat breakfast, play by themselves while I pick up, take their naps, and then it is time to eat again, etc. I feel like I spend most of the day either preparing for them to eat, feeding them, cleaning up from them eating or changing their diapers and putting them down for a nap. And then when they are happily playing by themselves and I have a few free mintues to unload the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry, or hang out with my 4-year-old and play a game - I feel guilty that I'm not giving them my undivided attention.

Has anyone else felt like this - even when their babies were older? I feel like I'm tugged in a million different directions - and none of them are the *right* one - so I guess I feel guilty no matter what way I go.

I know guilt is a useless emotion - I just wish I could convince my brain of that.

If you've felt/feel this way - how do you deal with it?

Thanks!!

 

No, I dont think it is unusual at that age. When mine were still taking 2 naps a day I felt like I could never go anywhere so my kids were deprived of getting out of the house and I felt guilty about that. The good thing is that as things change, you will have more time to get out, play, let them play, and still feel guilty about not spending enough time with all the kids Hang in there and keep up the great work.

 

Sometimes I feel like that too.. not giving them enough attention. But they seem happy and I make sure to make the laugh/smile a lot everyday. It is also winter time. There are limited things you can do with them inside at that age. I try to give them each some mommy cuddle time during the day while the other is happily playing alone. This lasts for less than 10 mins usually, but I feel better that I do it - every little bit counts ^_^

 

I think it's normal. I still feel that way about my 10-year old some days.

 

I think it's normal, I think a lot of mom's feel a lot of guilt. Being mom is a hard job!

 

I really wish I had more one on one time. I do feel guilty that I don't, but there's two! I think it's normal :hug:.

 

I definitely relate.... it is hard to find time for everyone. I feel like I run around all day filling "love tanks", bouncing from one girl to the next. I guess we just do the best we can...

 

Glad I'm not the only one. It just feels like I'm always "playing catch-up", if that makes sense. Catching up on play times, catching up on dishes, laundry, catching up individual attention, etc.

I'm sure it is just part of being a mom to more than 1 child. It's hard. I was so used to giving my older DS such individualized, personalized attention - that it is hard for me to adjust to this new reality of "sharing". I feel like I am always short-changing everyone!!

 

Thats how I feel to. With my older DS I gave him such one on one attention, and with the babies I am so busy I usually have very little time to play with them. But I guess that comes with the territory of having 3 kids. I'm sure as they get older it will be easier to more things as a group so that all 3 are getting attention. When I am feeling bad I always think of an episode of John and Kate Plus 8 where Kate said there are some days where she can't even remember if she managed to talk with each of her children. It makes me feel better about myself then

 

I felt that way too! My kids were still napping 3x/day at that age, which made it even more of a hamster wheel. Or like Groundhog Day. Or more like Groundhog Couple Hours - always feeding and changing and playing and sneaking off to get chores done and putting down for naps...

That's gotten a bit better now that they're on 1 nap. When they're awake so much longer at a time, the repetition doesn't get to you as much. And with things being less hurried, it is a bit easier to fit in everything you need to, so there's not quite as much of the pulled-in-all-different-directions feeling. At least that's how it's been for me.

But still, yes, there is just too much going on! Between absolutely essential chores, taking care of the babies' needs, and taking care of my own (oops, I have to eat too!), it does often feel like there's just not enough of me to go around. And I don't even have an older kid in the picture! Anyway, you're not the only one who feels spread too thin. :hug: But I bet most moms of young kids are spread thin just the same way - and still do an awesome job of raising happy kids. All you can do is your best - and your best is probably fantastic.